Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Menorah on the Door-ah

Elf on the Shelf.

If you’re on the interwebs at all; facebook, blogs, anywhere or everywhere, those words most likely bring up your dinner make you shudder.

Being Jewish, I’ve never had an Elf on the Shelf (or anyplace else for that matter). Never woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, jumped out of bed searching for a doll that I forgot to move. Works for me.

But, I’m told, those elves also have an enormously useful purpose. Each night they go off to Santa to report who’s been naughty or nice, then return to stalk spy on keep those little buggers in line for yet another day. This goes on all the way from Thanksgiving until Christmas.

Now wait a minute. A doll that makes your kids behave? For a month? Genius. We may just need in on this scam scheme lovely tradition.

So lets see what I’ve got to work with. Crap, not much. I’ve got a menorah, a dreidel and gelt . . . oy vey.

Menorah, Dreidel and Gelt | | #humor #chanukah

But hey, I’m resourceful. I am, after all, a descendant of the people who not only crossed the dessert to freedom, but invented inedible crackers along the way.

So screw the Elf on the Shelf, you’re not gonna find any shiksa outdoing me in the manipulating-your-kids category. Just watch me make this work:

Sleep well, little darlings. Don’t even think of bothering your parents in the middle of the night. Look up, there’s a menorah on the door-ah, just waiting to report back to Santa the household money manager:

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

And remember to eat a good breakfast. Just to be sure, there’s a dreidel on the table, planning to save a little money for the family gift buyer.
Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

Need a little reminder while getting dressed? There’s gelt on the belt, soon to tattle tale tell all to the resident baker.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

Have a fun day. Go play with your friends. But play fair, you’re being watched, now the menorah’s on the score-ah.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

Make sure you remember to stay out of Mom’s belongings. You never know what you’ll find. See, there’s the dreidel on the jade-el.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

And stay out of Dad’s toys too. Right there, the gelt’s on the dealt.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

It’s dinner time, be sure to eat without complaints.

Latke for Two | | #recipe #chanukah
Latke for Two

And just to be sure-ah, there’s a menorah on the floor- ah.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

And what’s that hiding in the drawer? It’s gelt on the felt.

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

Tonight before you go back to bed, don’t forget to put your laundry away. And do it neatly, there’s that dreidel, on the label. . .

Menorah on the door-ah blog post | | #humor #chanukah

I could SO keep this up for a month. Now who’s going to come up with something for January? And February. And March . . .

Whatever you celebrate, I hope it’s happy

Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics
Latke for Two
Printable Recipe
1 medium potato
¼ cup chopped onion
1 egg
2 TBSP flour
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper
Vegetable oil for frying
¼ cup shredded sharp cheddar
1/2 scallion, sliced
¼ cup of sour cream
Snipped chives
*Skin potato and grate onto paper towels or grate in food processor and place on paper towels. Pat dry.
*Place potato, onion, egg, flour, salt and pepper into a bowl and mix well.
*Spray a small skillet with no-stick spray. Just cover bottom with vegetable oil and heat on medium high until hot.
*Carefully add the potato mixture to the oil and spread it into the pan. Manipulate it with your spatula so it's thicker around the edges, which brown faster.
*Cook until the bottom is well browned. While cooking, gently press the center down with your spatula to help the center cook.
*Place a large spatula under the latke and use a second spatula to hold the top together. Manipulating the latke with both spatulas, gently flip it over. Blot the top with a paper towel.
*Sprinkle cheddar over the center of the latke, top with scallion. Cook until the bottom is brown, then slide onto a plate.
*Mix together the sour cream and chives and serve on top of the latke.


  1. HILARIOUS!!!!! Love this SOOOOOOOOO much!!!!
    I have to try this recipe!! The Hubby loves latkes!!!!

    1. Recipe is a little tricky when you flip it, but it's so good!

  2. giggles.... and some more giggles.... this is so funny! Love your new header! xxDazee

  3. You are genius. The menorah on a score-ah was my favorite. Yahtzee!!
    I'm going to see if I can pull of a latke...
    <3 you

  4. This might be my favorite post - ever!!! I laughed out loud the whole way through! And your menorah is beautiful. I have never made (or, sadly, even tasted latke, but your recipe may change that!

    1. You must try latkes, they're crisp potatoes fried in a little oil. What's not to like?

  5. I've always wanted to make latke, and now I can! Thank you! This is so much better than elf on the shelf - much more creative and infinitely more entertaining! Pure genius :)! Happy Hanukkah.

    1. Thank you, Lana. Hope you try the latkes, they're delish!

  6. LOVE the header babe! very cute post!!!! "The menorah on a score-ah" Laughing so hard... Dino is asking tons of questions about Hanukkah and singing the Dreidal's too cute, I think he's worried Santa won't give them's a hard thing to understand.

    1. So glad you like the header. And I love that Dino is singing the dreidel song, so cute!

  7. Your imagination never ceases to amaze me!

  8. I got nothing. Ceramic Santas, Snowmen and Snow women and Christmas Village all to taxing to put up and in just the right place to move around. I do have a Velveteen Rabbit that I could move around. Nope, it took 3 days to get it right, I have a fly swat that just threat to use it keeps ‘em in line. That will do.


Warning: Comment at your own risk. I have Comment Moderation, meaning I approve all comments before they show up here. So go ahead, I'm not scared!