Menorah on the Door-ah

Elf on the Shelf.

If you’re on the interwebs at all; facebook, blogs, anywhere or everywhere, those words most likely bring up your dinner make you shudder.

Being Jewish, I’ve never had an Elf on the Shelf (or anyplace else for that matter). Never woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, jumped out of bed searching for a doll that I forgot to move. Works for me.

But, I’m told, those elves also have an enormously useful purpose. Each night they go off to Santa to report who’s been naughty or nice, then return to stalk spy on keep those little buggers in line for yet another day. This goes on all the way from Thanksgiving until Christmas.

Now wait a minute. A doll that makes your kids behave? For a month? Genius. We may just need in on this scam scheme lovely tradition.

So lets see what I’ve got to work with. Crap, not much. I’ve got a menorah, a dreidel and gelt . . . oy vey.

But hey, I’m resourceful. I am, after all, a descendant of the people who not only crossed the dessert to freedom, but invented inedible crackers along the way.

So screw the Elf on the Shelf, you’re not gonna find any shiksa outdoing me in the manipulating-your-kids category. Just watch me make this work:

Sleep well, little darlings. Don’t even think of bothering your parents in the middle of the night. Look up, there’s a menorah on the door-ah, just waiting to report back to Santa the household money manager:

 

And remember to eat a good breakfast. Just to be sure, there’s a dreidel on the table, planning to save a little money for the family gift buyer.

 

Need a little reminder while getting dressed? There’s gelt on the belt, soon to tattle tale tell all to the resident baker.

Have a fun day. Go play with your friends. But play fair, you’re being watched, now the menorah’s on the score-ah.

Make sure you remember to stay out of Mom’s belongings. You never know what you’ll find. See, there’s the dreidel on the jade-el.

 

And stay out of Dad’s toys too. Right there, the gelt’s on the dealt.

It’s dinner time, be sure to eat without complaints.

Latke for Two

And just to be sure-ah, there’s a menorah on the floor- ah.

 

And what’s that hiding in the drawer? It’s gelt on the felt.

Tonight before you go back to bed, don’t forget to put your laundry away. And do it neatly, there’s that dreidel, on the label. . .

 

I could SO keep this up for a month. Now who’s going to come up with something for January? And February. And March . . .

Whatever you celebrate, I hope it’s happy

 

 

 

 

Latke for Two

                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1 medium potato
¼ cup chopped onion
1 egg
2 TBSP flour
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper
 
Vegetable oil for frying
 
¼ cup shredded sharp cheddar
1/2 scallion, sliced
¼ cup of sour cream
Snipped chives
 
Directions:
*Skin potato and grate onto paper towels or grate in food processor and place on paper towels. Pat dry.
*Place potato, onion, egg, flour, salt and pepper into a bowl and mix well.
*Spray a small skillet with no-stick spray. Just cover bottom with vegetable oil and heat on medium high until hot.
*Carefully add the potato mixture to the oil and spread it into the pan. Manipulate it with your spatula so it's thicker around the edges, which brown faster.
*Cook until the bottom is well browned. While cooking, gently press the center down with your spatula to help the center cook.
*Place a large spatula under the latke and use a second spatula to hold the top together. Manipulating the latke with both spatulas, gently flip it over. Blot the top with a paper towel.
*Sprinkle cheddar over the center of the latke, top with scallion. Cook until the bottom is brown, then slide onto a plate.
*Mix together the sour cream and chives and serve on top of the latke.