Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Be My Guest: Anne Bardsley

Welcome to my ongoing series, Be My Guest. As I've continued to take some time to myself, some very talented writers have taken over my blog. Today it's my pleasure to introduce you to a woman who not only blogs, but has published a book. She's generously agreed to entertain us all today with a funny blog post and her favorite dinner recipe. How lucky are we?

Anne Bardsley of the blog Anz World and the book How I Earned My Wrinkles: Musings on Marriage, Motherhood and Menopause is in the process of publishing a second book, Angel Bumps, on a subject I find fascinating. Anne is taking contributions for her new book. To learn more about the book and how to submit, go to Angel Bumps Story Requests.

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And now a funny post from Anne:
Dear Ms. Steinem:

I want to personally thank you for spear heading the movement and for your dedication to improving women's lives.

The day I ripped my bra off in solidarity of the women's liberation movement and the chance for more equal opportunities for women, I got caught up in the excitement of the moment. It all made so much sense.

I'm writing you today to tell you than I am puttinh my bra back on -- not only because I have to because after nursing five kids my boobs are screaming for support, but also as a statement.

Liberation isn't working for me.

That's right. I no longer wish to be liberated. In fact, at this point I would prefer to be caged! I simply cannot work forty hours, take the kids to do the grocery shopping, take out the garbage, pick the kids up from school, run to soccer, football and tennis and make it to PTA and my mother-in-law's birthday party. I can no longer wash the same load of laundry three times because I left it in the washer again. I don't remember June Cleaver doing any of these things while watching Leave It To Beaver.

I'll admit there are many aspects of that time period I find very appealing. For instance, June wore an apron. It appeared to be ironed, and there was never a single stain on it. Clearly she had time to do the wash, smiled while folding it, and even put it all away. The woman was a goddess! Her laundry room was spotless, and her kitchen counters sparkled. Perhaps she was heavily medicated? Who can be sure.

The woman hummed while putting pot roast in the oven. Her potatoes were hand mashed! I don't remember one episode without Beaver, Wally, and even Ward complimenting her cooking.

Did you ever see her with a vacuum cleaner? It was like watching an episode of Dancing With the Stars; so fluid in her movement and again with the smiling. She would glide across the carpet with such poise and grace. Seriously, who does that? I keep my vacuum by the door with a bottle of water. If someone comes to the door, I spritz my face so I look like I've been sweating from vacuuming.

Her hair was always done, and her make-up immaculately applied. June obviously had time to focus on June, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn she took beauty naps daily. I'm sure you can catch my drift.

Gloria, can I call you Gloria? If there's an apron in my house, it's in the garage under a pile of dry dog food. My laundry room has a shabby-not-so-chic feel, and smells like old feet. Instead of smiling while doing laundry, I prefer to grunt and curse.

Our family dinners could easily be confused with a busy train station, with all the people coming and going, and I'm more likely to hear, "Oh, no! Not chicken again?" than any compliments from my lovely children.

My house is a mess, and I'm tired.

I think my life could have been richer without all the equality seeking. I would prefer a slower kind of life with fewer things. I just want to waltz with my vacuum, and I'd like to have the opportunity to concentrate on just one thing.

I want to be a June Cleaver, Gloria.

I want to meet up with my lady neighbors for coffee to discuss how wonderful our husbands are. I want a freshly ironed dress with matching heels, and I want to appear composed and serene. It would be a pleasure to wear a stain free apron and smile while making dinner. I want a simple and uncomplicated life. Equality is over rated. I want my husband to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and I'll never let him forget he's the man. June would sing this, but I strained my vocal chords screaming at kids. Hey, I'm not perfect.

Now I'm going to go buy new aprons. Let's have coffee real soon.

Anne Bardsley

About the author:
Anne Bardsley is author of How I Earned My Wrinkles . . . Musings On Marriage, Motherhod and Menopause. You can find her on Scary Mommy, Betterafter50.c0m, Very Funny Women, Housewives Plus, Erma Bombeck, Everything Menopause, and so many others. She lives in St. Pete, FL with her husband. She is currently working on her second book, Angel Bumps. This book is filled with stories from people who've gotten a sign from a loved one who passed. This book will heal hearts and open minds.
Visit her site at AnneBardsley.com.

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Swiss Cheese Chicken, my best and easiest dinner
                                             by Anne Bardsley                                            
*Lay chicken cutlets in 13 X 9 sprayed pan.
*Cover with slices of Swiss cheese
*Add 1 can of milk to Cream of Mushroom soup and pour over chicken.
*Melt 4 TBSP of butter and mix in bread crumbs. Top casserole.
*Bake 325 degrees 1 hour.
*So easy! Sip wine while it bakes.



  1. I'm with Ann~ Tired of doing it all.....

  2. Thank you for being such a great guest, Anne. And for gifting me with such a funny post.

  3. Sorry -- I'm from the old school and love it. My daughter (in her 20's) is the same way -- she says she should have been born in the 50's and yes, we both work full time.

  4. I waved to women's lib as it passed me by. And I've never for a moment regretted it! :)

  5. Replies
    1. I know, I laughed when she sent it, couldn't wait to post it!

  6. Is it bad that even June cleaver is too much for me to aim for right now? I'd be happy to be Roseanne, because then I can be comfortable with my slobby impoverished life, and I'd even get a husband in the deal...

  7. Hey if it equality then why aren't the husbands sitting through PTA and cooking dinner? It's never been equal only more...more work, more stress, more BS!


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