Hubs got a new tv for downstairs in the man cave. I really didn't want to mount it on the wall so we spent a lot of time looking for a stand we liked. We finally found one and ordered it. It's one of those pieces of furniture that you have to assemble yourself, always a disaster around here.
At about 10:00 am on a weekend morning, Hubs went downstairs saying that he was going to open the make box and just make sure all the parts were there.
At about 6:00 pm I called him for dinner and he came upstairs.
Hubs: OK, I just finished, I have all the pieces.
Me: Just finished? It's been like 8 hours.
Hubs: There were lots of parts and pieces I had to find and count.
So I'm taking bets. If it takes him an entire day just to identify all the pieces, how long do you think it's going to take him to put that sucker together? I'm thinking 6 months if he works at it full time . . .
Hubs was driving me nuts. Absolutely crazy. Don't pretend you don't have days like that, I know you do. I'm hardly alone here.
I'm one of those people who just wouldn't do well in jail. It's not even about going to the bathroom in front of others, I mean, I've got kids . . . been there done that. It's all that other stuff. So I knew I couldn't just shoot him or something, I'd never get away with it.
Then I remembered what happened when we bought that tv stand. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
Hubs: Where are you going?
Me: The store.
Hubs: What store?
Me: Any store that has furniture that you have to assemble yourself. When I get home I'll need you to make sure all the parts are there . . .
Hubs comes home from work and there's a platter of cupcakes on the counter.
Hubs: Are these edible?
Me: Edible?
Hubs: Yeah, are they edible?
Me: Like, are they made of mud, edible?
Hubs: No, like have you already taken a picture for your blog, edible.
Me: Oh, you mean is it OK to eat them?
Hubs: Yeah, are they edible?
Guess he and I have different ideas of what that word means.
I've talked about this before but I swear it's getting worse. Hubs cannot go anywhere without calling me with questions.
We were having dinner and I had mowed the lawn that day. I told Hubs we needed more gas for the lawn mower. He said he should check the propane for the grill since he can get both at the same gas station. PurDude said that he needed gas in his car so I suggested that after dinner Hubs and PurDude take the gas can and the propane tank in his car up to the gas station.
Hubs: I need to go get my wallet before we go to the gas station.
Me: No you don't.
Hubs: I have to pay.
Me: PurDude has a gas card.
Hubs: I don't want him paying for our gas and propane.
Me: His card is on our account. I pay for his gas, I have since he went away to school 2 years ago. This is not news. You know this. I sent him off with a card on our gas account and a card on our Kohl's account.
So Hubs and PurDude head out. Surprise, surprise within 2 minutes the phone rang.
Hubs: I think I was supposed to get 3 things but I can only think of 2.
Me: Did you guys take PurDude's car?
Hubs: Yes.
Me: Do you have the propane tank?
Hubs: Yes.
Me: Do you have the gas can for the lawn mower?
Hubs: {{silence}}.
Me: I'm gonna take that as a "no".
So he came home, got the gas can and went back out to the gas station to fill it.
If you're wondering what my husband looks like, look up the old saying "he'd lose his head if it wasn't attached", I'm sure you'll find his picture there.
In Hubs' defense, he'd been crazed at work. His division of the company he worked for had been sold. He was still in his offices working with the same coworkers, but everything else had changed. He was trying to continue to do his job while spending hours getting new log-ins and learning new systems. He was exhausted.
So a few days after the whole gas can incident, I went out to put gas in the lawn mower. The can was empty.
Me: Ummm, I'm a little confused here. You forgot the gas can, came home and got it, went out to the gas station again and the gas can is still empty?
Hubs: Oh, I took the wrong gas can, I filled the one for the snow blower.
Me: But I can't use that one for the lawnmower, it's mixed with oil.
Hubs: No, don't use that in the lawnmower.
Me: So . . .
Hubs: Oh, OK, I'll go to the gas station now.
Me: I think I'll go with you . . .
I know he's exhausted and under a lot of pressure, but someone just shoot me. Please.
Toffee Butterfinger Banana Bread
I had the Red Sox on TV. I don't get to see them often and was excited that ESPN was covering the game. You know how you can tell when someone's behind you? Yeah, I got that feeling. I look behind me to see Hubs standing behind the couch looking at his phone.
Me: What are you doing?
Hubs: Checking the score of the game.
Me: On your phone?
Hubs: Yes.
Me: What game?
Hubs: The Red Sox.
Me: You are aware that the game is on right now. Right in front of you. I'm watching it.
Hubs: Yes, but they're not showing the score.
Me: I know the score.
Hubs (looking up from his phone): and now so do I.
I think he needs a cell phone 12 step program.
Me: I win.
Hubs: Huh?
Me: I win.
Hubs: Mega Millions?
Me: No, the game you're playing.
Hubs: I'm playing?
Me: Yes. Hide and Go Find Your Dirty Laundry. I found it.
Hubs: Huh?
Me: Personally I'm disappointed. You didn't really put a lot of thought into the hiding place. It's unexpected but it's pretty easy to see.
Hubs: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: You're not fooling me. I have proof:
Me: The toilet in the master bathroom seems to be constantly running, we better call the plumber.
Hubs: No, I know what needs to be replaced in the tank, I can do it.
Me: Are you sure? You know you're not known for being handy. We can just call a plumber.
Hubs: No, I've done it before, I can do it.
And that's how I came to be sitting on the toilet on the main level (one floor directly below the toilet in the master bathroom), peeing while water dripped on my head.
Everyone was going to be home for dinner. Even though we were all home for 2 months this summer, we were all on different schedules so we didn't actually sit down together for a meal that often. I wanted to make it special so I planned a big meal, thought that after dinner maybe we'd play cards or just sit around and talk. I really planned to take advantage of the time together.
I bought gigantic Rib Eyes to cook on the grill, made fresh Squash Casserole, Hot and Spicy Potato Casserole, and Angel Food Trifle for dessert. Dinner was very pleasant and a big success since I'd made everyone's favorites.
After dinner, everyone scattered.
Me: WAIT! Where are you all going? I thought we'd spend some time together.
College Boy: I'm stuffed, I think I'm going to download a movie and take a nap.
PurDude: I'm stuffed, I need to change and go to the gym.
Hubs: I'm stuffed, I'm going to the man cave to lay down and pop my top button,
Yeah, cancel that "dinner was a big success" thing. That sure bit me in the ass.
I mentioned last week that the entire time PurDude was home I couldn't get him to unpack, pick up his room or make his bed. Just before he left to go back to school last week {{sob}}, he made his bed. Sort of.
Obviously I needed to specify that he should pull up the sheet first. My bad.
Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:
Toffee Butterfinger Banana Bread
©www.BakingInATornado.com Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
6 TBSP butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
3 over ripe bananas
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/4 cup milk chocolate toffee bits, divided
1 cup Butterfinger baking bits
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease 2 loaf pans.
*Cream the butter,sugar and eggs until smooth. Beat in the sour cream, vanilla and bananas.
*Starting on the lowest speed until incorporated, beat in the flour, salt and baking soda.
*Mix in 1 cup of the toffee bits and all of the butterfinger baking bits.
*Divide evenly into the 2 prepared loaf pans. Sprinkle the top with the remaining toffee bits.
*Bake for 60 to 70 minutes or until the center of the top springs back to the touch.
*Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pans, then run a knife around the edges and remove to cool completely.
Wow - that banana bread sounds amazing! I can definitely relate to an absent minded husband too! Lol
ReplyDeleteGlad to know I'm not the only one!
DeleteBanana bread recipe looks really yummy, but the Hubs stories are priceless!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you enjoyed them.
DeleteOh my goodness, I had so many laughs throughout that post!
ReplyDeleteHubby would much rather check his weather app (and we all know how reliable they are) than actually look out the window.
I expect Colin to turn out just about the way your husband "works" when going gas shopping. He's super bright and all, but he'll always forget something. On his last day of school he had to take everything home. Books, binders, crafts, you name it, and also everything from the locker. So there was one shoe. "Where is the other one?" "Oh, I haven't had it for a while..." "And you took home the single shoe because..?"
Too bad us girls weren't invited to that fabulous dinner. We would have sat around the table, coffee, wine, laughter,...
Happy Weekend, Karen :-)
Yeah, I think the super smart ones need more room in their brain for facts and have less room for the day to day stuff. That's my theory anyway.
DeleteThe banana bread I made this morning looked really great. Notice the past tense? :)
ReplyDeleteYou can come and cook for us. I guarantee we'll stick around to visit.
I love hearing about your family. In my house, though, I'm the forgetful one. Sigh.
Well, I'm not saying I don't have my own forgetful moments too . . .
DeleteYou are a different person, for sure. In a good way, of course. This was another recipe that will get pinned, although, during fruit fly season, I would not DARE bring any overripe bananas into my house. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYeah, we're all a bit. . .ahem . . . different . . . around here.
DeleteWow yummm cake:)
ReplyDeleteLove reading about your family so much!! My favorite posts here:) Can relate so much:)
Have a lovely weekend:)
Thanks for reading, Epsita.
DeleteYour Hubs sounds a lot like mine. He calls from the store to ask what we need when I've already told him ten times what we need Grrrrr! That bread looks DELICIOUS!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, I know you're partial to butterfingers in baked goods!
DeleteDelicious bread! and well...W had been under tremendous stress at work and his head has been separated from his brain. College boy makes the bed like W LOL
DeleteHa, ha, "his head has been separated from his brain". I like that one!
DeleteYears ago I moved in with my big sister and her hubby and baby. They lived in a two story flat with a toilet upstairs and a toilet downstairs, and the upstairs toilet was directly above the downstairs toilet. My sister was terrified of using the downstairs toilet, especially if someone was in the upstairs toilet, she didn't want someone going on her head. Her hubby and I used to give her so much crap for her phobia (pun intended).
ReplyDeleteIn the past I would have laughed at your sister, but now that I've peed with water dripping on my head, somehow I find it not so funny.
DeleteLOL. Similar ridiculousness at my house. Thanks for the giggles.
ReplyDeleteGlad you laughed!
DeleteThere are plenty of jokes (and books) written about not being able to understand women. What's to understand? We see....we do. Men see.. then they ask.
ReplyDeleteWell put. It's clear you get it.
Delete