Tuesday, September 5, 2017

They're Here

They're here.

No fanfare or darkened sky. No flashing lights or weird sounds. No giant black eyelash-less eyes peering in my window in the middle of the night. No disruption of electricity or flickering lights. No B-movie eerie music. But the evidence is clear. They are here.

Crop circles. That's how extraterrestrials announce themselves, everyone knows that. One day you have a normal crop (well, lawn) and then suddenly, inexplicably, overnight, they just appear. And the other morning, standing in the kitchen trying to un-glue my eyes and get the coffee cup to hit my mouth instead of my nose, I glanced out the window and what did I see? Crop circles. Right there in my very own yard. And you know what that means, right? They have arrived.

Back yard crop circles, a sure sign the aliens have arrived. | BakingInATornado.com | #humor #funny #laugh

And apparently they've picked me. 

Of the 7.5 billion people on this planet, I am the one. The perfect representative of planet earth. Chosen carefully, I'm sure, for my intelligence and wit, beauty and grace, strength and personality. Or by sheer luck. 
As a first contact I promise to do my best to represent. I will bravely take on the responsibility of being the chosen liaison between your species and mine, work tirelessly to facilitate the building of a peaceful symbiotic relationship between our species.

But I do have a few requests. 

Now I know you come in peace, but we earthlings tend to base initial judgement on aesthetics. So before that first personal contact if you could cover up any umbilical cord claws, barbed tails, you know, the yucky stuff. And perhaps learning to blink wouldn't hurt.

Please don't beam me up. Come on in, I'll put on a pot of coffee, always got some yummy baked earth food. You'll love chocolate, promise. The thing is, I'm terrified of flying untethered to . . . well . . . anything. If your preferred mode of travel is a beam of light, I'm warning you now, I'm gonna need a diaper. 

Chocolate Reese's Puffs Crunch Cookies, a rich chocolate cookie with bursts of Reese's Puffs crunch inside | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #cookies #chocolate

Chocolate Reese's Puffs Crunch Cookies

No matter what I see, you must refrain from zapping my memory. If I forget how to cook and bake there's a good chance I could find myself homeless. Then I'd have to permanently move into your spaceship, and I'll need a private room, en suite bathroom, air conditioning, a jacuzzi, flat screen TV. And you're gonna have to have really good wifi.

I know you're looking for information and I'll help all I can so despite your normal modus operandi (yeah, I know what you do, I watch movies), that cannot include sucking out of my brain. Not only am I in desperate need of with whatever of those cells survived my teenage years, let's just say there's stuff in there no one needs to see.

That whole cross-pollination thing you aliens tend to go for? Well, I'm gonna have to take a pass. And don't try to convince me I'll like it, it won't hurt, it'll be fun or it's all in the name of science. I've been around the block a time or two, heard all the excuses, justifications, cheesy lines and even begging. Not happening.

Oh, and one last thing, a warning really, when it comes to that obligatory "take me to your leader" thing. As perfect a specimen as I may be, as proud as I am to be representing our species, do not ask me to explain our current state of politics. 'Cause when it comes to understanding that, I may as well be from outer space myself.

Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Chocolate Reese's Puffs Crunch Cookies         
Printable Recipe
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 egg, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
3/4 cup baking cocoa
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter baking chips
1 1/2 cups Reese's Puffs cereal

*Cream the butter, margarine, sugars, egg and vanilla until smooth. Starting at the lowest speed, beat in the flour, baking cocoa, salt and baking soda. 
*Mix in the mini chocolate chips and the peanut butter baking chips, then gently mix in the cereal. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour. 
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover baking sheets with parchment paper. Roll the dough into 1 inch balls and place, about 2 dozen per sheet onto the baking sheets.
*Bake for 13 - 15 minutes. Remove from oven but leave on baking sheets for 3 minutes to set, then remove from the baking sheets and allow to cool completely.


  1. You have my vote as the human ambassador! Just bring up the cookies and all is well.

    1. Yes, if I can't win them over with my sparkling personality, lead with the cookies!

  2. Those cookies look amazing. That chocolatey chocolateness. omg. Yum.

    And I SO agree with you. Always offer food.
    And set your ground rules.
    Always good when meeting a new species.
    And definitely avoid certain world leaders. I'll loan you ours. He's cute!

    1. Yes, I'll take him. Cute, caring, intelligent, just what we need!

  4. I'm thinking of a science fiction/alternate history series where the invading intelligent lizards (why is is always lizards?)found that ginger was an addictive substance. As in ginger snaps, gingerbread, and so forth. That's how we fought off the invasion - sort of. Now, if it had been me, I would have tried to welcome them with chocolate and peanut butter. On second thought, they probably would have doubled down on the invasion stuff, thinking they'd want all that goodness for themselves. So I just have one question. Who is bringing the milk for the cookies? Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

  5. These look amazing..............peanut butter chocolate anything at all - count me IN!

    1. Hope you try them, the added crunch of the cereal is a fun addition.

  6. Chocolate and peanut butter - it doesn't get any better. Love the idea of adding in the cereal!

  7. There is little food that contains chocolate cannot fix, just saying

  8. Oh gosh, crop circles remind me of the Sixth sense. And chocolate reesie cookies. Great combination..yum!!!!!!!

    1. Don't worry about those crop circles, I'm here to represent. And share cookies!


Warning: Comment at your own risk. I have Comment Moderation, meaning I approve all comments before they show up here. So go ahead, I'm not scared!