A three way costs how much?
I'm jaded. Either that or traumatized, I'm not sure which. Between trump's "grab them by the . . ." and his pay outs to porn stars and playboy bunnies, and Matt Gaetz's (alleged {{wink, wink}}) prostitution of minors across state lines when on government business, it appears I'm seeing everything through a whole new lens. And let's just say it's not rose colored. More like dirty. Is that a color?
I was flipping through the channels the other night, just being lazy and wanting to get lost in a television show. I mostly watch true crime shows, but the ones that were on I'd already seen. News? No, I want to be amused not depressed. So I decided to check out a few of my other favorite channels, see what's cooking or what's being remodeled.
Food Network looked interesting but I thought I'd pop over to the other channel as well, see what my options were. I thought I'd gone to HGTV, but clearly I'd made a mistake, clicked on the wrong number. I don't have any X-rated channels (that I know of anyway, note to self: check into that), yet the show that was about to start was called 50K three ways.
50K three ways? That's what they cost? And there's a show about it? A weekly show? If this is, in fact, HGTV, is it a how to? Like DIY your own three way? Does this kind of activity require remodeling perhaps? The addition of poles and swings and such?
And is there like a trump episode, then one on Matt Gaetz? Mark Sanford? Eiliot Spitzer? Al Franken? Bill Clinton? Does Bill Cosby get a week or is it just politicians? This show could go on forever. And, as long as inquiring minds are well at work, I just want to ask who provides the money? Does the show budget for that, or do the participants have to actually pay to play?
Whoa, slow down there.
Apparently those of us who are not wearing our dirty colored glasses can see that this is, in fact, none of the above. It's a straight up, legit, run of the mill design show. The premise is that homeowners walk a designer through the areas of their home that require a redesign. With a budget of 50K, the designer then offers three different remodel options and the homeowners then decide how to spend their renovation budget.
Ohhhhh. 50K three ways, I get it. Not dirty at all. Not even remotely being about politics.
So, reassured, I settled in to watch.
But just when I thought it was safe, that I'd taken my mind out of the toilet, something else came on that had me, well . . . let's just say perplexed. It was a commercial, I don't even know what for because I think I went into shock at some point while watching it. Anyway, the commercial featured women, one after the other, explaining, confirming, and acknowledging, that women poop. The woman in the last scene was actually sitting on a toilet with her pants down, apparently demonstrating for those of us who, I don't know, weren't already aware? Or needed more convincing?
Listen, life
is certainly not a bowl of cherries, I think we've all figured that
out. It's not even a Cookie Cup Sundae with a cherry on top, although
that certainly goes a long way towards making me feel better in a whole
plethora of instances.
Cookie Cup Sundaes
But I do have to wonder, if you get to that point, how much it pays to sit on a toilet with your pants down talking about pooping on television.
50K?
Could it be she has a room she's desperate to have redesigned?
Or perhaps she's interested in a three way of her own.
Cookie Cup Sundaes
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients (makes 12):
1 stick butter, room temperature
3/4 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 cup flour
2 TBSP multicolored nonpareils
about 3 cups Circus Cookie Ice Cream (can substitute flavor or your choice)
about 1/3 cup strawberry syrup
whipped cream
1/4 cup multicolored sprinkles or nonpareils
12 maraschino cherries
Directions:
*Beat the butter and vanilla until smooth, then gently beat in the powdered sugar just until incorporated. Mix in the flour and nonpareils, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
*Beat the butter and vanilla until smooth, then gently beat in the powdered sugar just until incorporated. Mix in the flour and nonpareils, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 15 minutes.
*Turn a 12 well muffin tin upside down and grease the bottoms of the cups, which are now sticking up. Roll the dough into 12 balls about 4 inches in diameter. Completely cover each of the well bottoms with the cookie dough, forming an upside down cup. Refrigerate for 20 minutes.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake the cookie cups for 10 minutes. Using the tip of a knife, cut the excess dough from around each cookie cup, then allow to cool for 5 minutes before carefully popping the cookie cups off of the tin wells and allowing to cool completely.
*To serve, fill each cookie cup with a large scoop of ice cream, drizzle with strawberry syrup, dollop with whipped cream, sprinkle with multicolored sprinkles or nonpareils, and top with a maraschino cherry.
I can remember when the raciest commercial was Madge doing manicures with Palmolive to soften your nails. Today, anything goes. Luckily I have your Cupcake Sundae to take me away..
ReplyDeleteSundaes are the answer to most anything. Especially in the summer.
DeleteRemember back when to advertise brassiers they had to have a dressmaker's dummy do the modeling? While i'm not a prude and i do have children, i sometimes miss those days.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I shouldn't say that, watching their public personas, some of those current live models could pass for dummies.
DeleteHahahaha. Truer words...
DeleteHahahaha! That's quite the dirty lens!
ReplyDeleteI was still getting used to the fact that they actually SHOW people applying deodorant. I don't think I can quite make the leap to pooping yet.
What's next? Showing us your haemorrhoids? (Do you have one of these . . .?)
I think at that point I'd have to remove the TVs from my house. Or gouge my eyes out, but the TV thing would probably be a lot less painful.
DeleteCircus cookie ice cream? Where do you shop? OK, I'm guessing Wal-Mart, because I had to google that. Animal crackers? Sounds good! Oh, as of today, you can add our esteemed governor, A. Cuomo, to the list of naughty, naughty politicians. Finally, the only 3 way I want to be involved in is ice cream. One of our local brands, Perry's, features a flavor called "Tuxedo" - it's made with 1/3 vanilla, 1/3 dark chocolate and 1/3 french roast coffee ice cream. Yum! Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteMy son and I were just talking about Cuomo this morning when it all came out. Consensus of opinion is that he should shut up and stop digging himself a bigger hole. And that Tuxedo ice cream sound great!
DeleteTuxedo sounds like the best flavor ever!
DeleteAdvertisments now days are usually stupid, have little to do with what they are advertising and generally piss me off
ReplyDeleteI agree, half the time I have no idea what it is that they're trying to sell me.
Delete