It started with a distraction.
Yes, something just that simple. It could have ended right there, faded away without more than a passing thought, but it didn't. Because, as I said, this was just the start.
In the morning, I happened to look up while in PurDude's bedroom.
But then that afternoon brought a text from College Boy that took my breath away. And had me looking at the morning's distraction with new eyes.
And the evening? In the evening it was the national news.
So, the beginning:
That morning, I'd brought towels and toiletries into PurDude's room. I was leaving them on his bed as he'd be coming home soon. Why I didn't just leave it all there and walk out, I don't know. But I sat down on his bed and looked up at the bulletin board that had been on his wall for years. At the very top was a commendation from his job. He'd been a lifeguard in high school, and had continued in the summers when he was home from college.
He had saved a life.
I hate hearing that fact diminished by those who say that first responders specifically (but lifeguards and many others too) are just doing their jobs when they save a life. They may just be doing their jobs, but these are jobs that they chose, study for, train for, and practice. They know that an integral part of what they will do is to take action when someone's life is at risk. It is an awesome responsibility.
Truth is, someone is still walking and living and doing all things large and small in their life because at their moment of need, someone came to their aid. There is enormity in the miracle of that, brought about by people who value humanity enough to take on protecting it.
In a strange coincidence, that afternoon brought me the exact opposite story. One of someone no longer walking and living and doing all things large and small in their life. It wasn't because first responders hadn't come to his aid, they did. It just wasn't enough.
College Boy sent me a picture that he took outside his work at lunchtime. "Awful car crash right by my work," he texted, "see the helicopter, someone is getting airlifted. I think someone died." We texted back and forth a bit, both of us deeply affected, expressing how heartbreaking it is to see that kind of response, understanding the seriousness of the situation, and hoping everyone would be OK.
They weren't. A motorcyclist was airlifted to the hospital but didn't make it.
Neither of us knew the people involved in the crash, but that didn't matter. When you are witness to a moment like this, even if it's just through viewing the scope of the aftermath, how do you not take a moment to acknowledge the frailty of life? The reality of the abrupt ending of a human life on an anonymous Friday at lunchtime? How do you not empathize, right down to your bones, with the family and friends about to get that phone call? Our humanity demands it.
Juxtaposed with that evening's proof of the pervasive rise of the opposite, man's inhumanity to man.
We were out on the deck having a drink and some appetizers. It was supposed to be a relaxing end to the day.
Sweet Hot Mango Dip
But I had just shut off the national news. In the past month, we've been aware of not just the growing number of mass shooting, but additionally, the shocking rash of executions of kids guilty of just one thing, making a mistake. As with mass shootings, each one is an assault not just on our way of life but, more personally on our sense of safety and our emotional health.
People, everyday citizens, are shooting children for ringing their doorbell, turning around in their driveway, mistaking a like car for their own, or allowing a basketball to roll onto a neighbor's lawn.
I'm a gun control advocate. No, we don't want to take away all guns, but we do want, we demand, responsible gun ownership. Actually, I take that back, I DO want to take all assault weapons from citizens. For all other gun sales (including shows and private sales) there must be laws, national standards, including screening, mandatory safety, instruction, and regular reviews.
The first step is screening. We need to screen for criminal records, and specific (but not all) mental health conditions. As much we, as a society, like to blame the mentally ill, truth is that not all shooters are mentally ill, and very few people with mental health diagnoses (about 25% of our adult population) are violent.
But what the morning, afternoon, and evening of just one day brought me to is a question.
If a fundamental respect for human life, all human life, is not an involuntary function in someone, like breathing and blinking, then I need to know.
Basic humanity. How do you screen for that?
Sweet Hot Mango Dip
©www.BakingInATornado.com
1/2 cup onion and chive cream cheese, softened
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup pepper jelly
1 ripe mango
chips or crackers for serving
Directions:
*Whisk together the cream cheese, sour cream, and pepper jelly.
*Whisk together the cream cheese, sour cream, and pepper jelly.
*Peel the mango and remove the pit. Slice a few pieces and refrigerate for garnish.
*Chop the remaining mango (small pieces) and fold into the dip, cover, and refrigerate for an hour.
*Top with the reserved mango slices and serve with chips or crackers of your choice.
Well said and Amen!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that in a country where the bastardation of a "pro life" agenda is being forced on us, we have to explain that allowing peope to be murdered is NOT pro life.
DeleteYeah, I also have doubts about the "menally ill" excuse. If you wanted to, I suppose you could say that every person who ever does a bad thing is mentally ill. As if there were no "bad" people. Interestingly - and tellingly - it seems that that description is given to Americans who commit attrocities, but not foreigners. Or to white men, but not other men.
ReplyDeleteWe talk a lot about strategies to thwart foreign terrorism, and way too little about strategies to eradicate domestic terrorism.
DeleteThis thoughtful post resonated with me, Karen. I had to sit with it a while and consider. Lots I relate to.
ReplyDeleteLots of work to be done in this country.
DeleteAnd I thought road rage was unbelievable and inexcusable.
ReplyDeleteNow we've gone the next step down.
I firmly believe there is a large portion of the population who have not been taught to control themselves and channel their emotions at an early age. They become, in essence, large children themselves. With an underdeveloped ability for control...and access to all things 'adult'. A terrible combination.
And who can they target? The younger and weaker.
I've said it before and I'll say it to the end of my days: If your children--your future--no longer matter to you, your civilization (so called) is doomed.
Well said, Karen. Very well said.
I agree. What's terrifying is that those "large children" are raising children.
DeleteI do believe you're preaching to the choir here, but that's ok with me :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I need to let it out, it's worse when I hold it in.
DeleteFirst responders also run toward situations which make others flee, another reason to say it's more than just "doing their job."
ReplyDeleteMotorcycles scare the living daylights out of me, especially since #2 Son has been in two accidents where the car causing it simply fled the scene and they were never caught, and Young Jacob (close family friend) was very close to death after his accident.
Guns should be tools for licensed hunting (yes, i know people who put almost all their meat on the table that way), recreational target shooting, and nothing else. If you don't get that at a basic and gut level, you don't need one.
We had a neighbor die in a motorcyle accident. I love them, love being on the back of them, but honestly wouldn't want one of my boys to own one.
DeleteThoughtful article. Unlike the other article published today on Women of Midlife about all the different state laws governing alcohol sales, I agree that we need federal laws governing gun sales and safety. Might be nice to also have a federal rule on the wearing of motorcycle helmets. While driving in Connecticut over the weekend, I was passed by several motorcyclists, some of whom were not wearing anything more than a backward baseball cap to protect their "squash." Oh and some were careening down the road at high speed, going between cars, and generally weaving through traffic. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteI cringe when I see motorcyclists without a helmet, always feel lke they're playing Russian roulette with their brains (and /or their lives).
DeleteThey may be doing their job but it isn't a job I could do same can be said for most people you should be proud I would be if I was his mumma.
ReplyDeleteMotorbike accidents are scary, Tim is still recovering from his
I hope Tim heals quickly.
DeleteWith you on all of this. My oldest daughter is a paramedic. It takes an emotional toll on them, not just physical.
ReplyDeleteYes, I would imagine some days are very traumatic.
Delete20 years ago this summer, my husband and I, passengers in a car driven by a cousin, were behind another car on a two lane U.S. highway in Iowa. That car contained an aunt, the two children of that cousin, and my son. Someone crossed the center line and hit that car. My aunt was killed instantly. The passengers were all injured. My cousin, who is an emergency room doctor, ran to the wreck, not only to help the occupants of his Mom's car, but he also checked the occupants of the other vehicle, the one which had crossed the center line, to see what assistance he could provide. From seeing my cousin and other first responders in action, I only have the greatest of respect for first responders. Other motorists also stopped and tried to help/talked to us, as did the owner of the house whose fence was partially demolished by us trying to avoid the accident. But, despite all that I saw that day, I think, more and more, that we have generations of people for whom decency does not apply. I don't know if it's something left over from the pandemic, but I think it started even before 2020.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heartbreaking story, for you and for your cousin.
DeleteI want responsible gun ownership too but because of some things that happened in my past. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have guns in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI agree, we just need to be better at identifying who those people are.
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