The B Word

I actually wrote this post 2 years ago, when I had been blogging for just a few months, as a Guest Post. At the time PurDude, my youngest son, was a junior in high school and College Boy was a senior.

I rediscovered this post the other day, in the month of my own birthday and I have to admit it made me smile. I bet many Moms out there will be able to relate. It’s about what really happens when it’s Mom’s birthday, her turn to be pampered. Or so you’d think:

The “B” Word

What’s so great about a birthday anyway?

For me, a Mom, it starts the day before with baking myself a cake. After all, what’s a birthday without a cake? And I know my kids would be disappointed if we didn’t have one. So there’ll be one, and it’ll be my kids’ favorite cake, of course. And maybe I did put a little Amaretto into my coffee while baking my cake, but it IS my birthday after all. And I’m pleased to report that no desserts were harmed in the baking of this cake. . .  or something like that.

Cream Cheese Toffee Cake

Let’s move on to the day of: I wash, dry, and fold the laundry and water the plants. I defrost and marinate the London Broil make the side dishes, prep the grill and set the table. I make pitchers of Raspberry Orange Margaritas and Shirley Temples. Lucky for me I don’t have to do any work on my birthday. After all, Hubs and the kids are making dinner (meaning lighting the grill, putting the steak on, turning it, bringing it in for me to slice and then patting themselves on the back for the rest of the night about all the work they saved me).

In all honesty, Hubs would have been happy to have picked out the dinner too, but I had an ulterior motive for doing it myself. I shudder to think of what he would have picked, and I knew that if I chose something we all liked, I’d get to eat without complaints for a change. After all, this is not an uncommon dinner conversation on my house:

Me: “I’m glad both of you boys work Sunday nights, Dad and I can have fish for dinner with no complaints.”

Older Son: “I can make you a recording of me complaining about dinner.”

Me: “I can make you a video of me changing the locks.”

And gifts? It's possible I have subtly worked a hint or two into every conversation for the past month. I've been practicing my "I'm shocked, how did you know?" face for a week now, I think I've got it down.

Of course there are still some surprises. Like my friend from the bogosphere, Stacy, who made me a Mug Rug. Want one too? Her tutorial is here: make your own Mug Rug.

Work done and dinner prepared for, here’s the next birthday dilemma: If your son, who’s a pain in the butt, gives you a hand-made card that says “I’m a pain in the butt” on the front, should you open it to see what’s inside? Or should you just leave well enough alone? I’m still thinking . . .

 

PS: The "B" Word, in its original form, was published on 8-20-12 on the Anon Bloggers.

Cream Cheese Toffee Cake

                                                                            ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 TBSP powdered sugar
8 Keebler Fudge Stripes Dark Chocolate cookies or chocolate shortbread cookies
2 TBSP toffee baking chips
 
¼ cup unsweetened baking cocoa
 
1 stick butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 ½ cups chocolate syrup
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
 
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 stick butter, softened
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar
Up to 3TBSP of milk
OPT: chocolate syrup and toffee baking chips for decorating
 
Directions:
*Process cookies in a food processor until they are fine crumbs.
*Grease a bundt pan. “Flour” it with baking cocoa.
*Beat 8 oz cream cheese with powdered sugar. Mix in the cookie crumbs and toffee chips. Roll into approximately ½ inch balls (should get about 20 of them) and place into the freezer for one hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
*Beat the softened butter with the sugar. Beat in the eggs, then the chocolate syrup and vanilla.
*Mix in the flour, baking soda and baking powder until incorporated.
*Pour about 1/3 of the batter into bunt pan, drop ½ of the cream cheese balls onto the batter. Press down but not all the way to the bottom. Pour another third of the batter into the pan and top with the rest of the cream cheese balls. Cover with the rest of the batter and spread to even out the top as best you can.
*Bake for 50 - 60 minutes or until center of the top springs back to the touch.
*Cool for 15 minutes, remove from pan and cool completely.
*Beat cream cheese with butter and vanilla. Carefully, and starting on the lowest speed, beat in the powdered sugar. Beat in the milk a TBSP at a time, adding more if too thick, until the topping is of a good consistency to drizzle.
*Drizzle topping over the cake. Sprinkle with toffee chips and drizzle with chocolate syrup.

Bah Humbug

Bah, Humbug.  Oh wait, that’s Christmas.  What’s the “Bah, Humbug” of Birthdays?

I never understood why birthdays were solely for the person born.  I get that you’re celebrating the day they came into this world but, oh my, shouldn’t the cake go to the one who went through hell to make that happen.  Now that I’m a Mom I can tell you that I went through IVF (Lightning Strikes) daily shots, surgeries, morning sickness, exhaustion, swollen feet . . . and when it’s all over, once a year I get to bake a cake for the one who played soccer with my kidneys for 9 months. 

 So really, my aversion to Birthdays at this point in my life isn’t about not wanting to be reminded of my age (yeah, right), it's a selfless nod to my own Mom, who did all the work those 21 years ago (don’t you DARE say what you’re thinking, it’s my birthday and if I say it’s 21, it’s 21).

 To all you little Merry Sunshines who say that age is only a number I say bulls**t (bah, humbug).  I’ll tell you what age is:

 Age is contacts, glasses AND readers.

Age is contacts, glasses and readers AND I can never find the readers.

Age is wearing shorts and a t-shirt and still being hot, in a snowstorm.

Age is two tries and a rocking motion to get off the couch.

Age is waiting for my kid to come home any time I want to do something on the computer.

Age is using a pen and paper for, well, anything.

Age is stopping at a stop sign and using your blinker (apparently).

Age is going from feeling like the cool Mom when you get carded buying alcohol to NEVER getting carded. 

Age is not knowing if you've been complimented or insulted when called "the shizz".

 Age is having seen Aerosmith, in one of their very first concerts, in the school gym for 25 cents.

 Yet there I was, in my kitchen making myself a Day-I’d-Prefer-To-Forget cake.  Because there’s no question, especially in my house, that cake will be expected and neither of the 3 testosterone-fueled members of this family are about to do anything more domestic than throw a steak on the grill.  Personally, I’d much rather have a steak than bake myself a cake, but I’m not sure I’d want to see the look on the kids’ faces when I tell them there’s no cake.  So I headed for the kitchen and resigned myself to the fact that like it or not, I was just gonna have to . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . let them eat cake.

Chocolate Bundt Cake

Chocolate Bundt Cake
                                ©www.BakingInATornado.com

 Printable Recipe

 NOTE: You can make a yellow cake from scratch or use this, my go-to doctored up cake mix cake:

Ingredients:
Package yellow cake mix
Small box white chocolate instant pudding mix
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup chocolate syrup
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
2 Tbsp butter
3/4 cup powdered sugar
2 Tbsp milk
Multicolored nonpareils

Directions:
*Grease and flour a bundt pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Beat cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, sour cream, water, and vegetable oil for 3 minutes.
*Pour 2/3 of the batter into the greased bundt pan.
*Mix the chocolate syrup into the remaining batter and gently pour over the top of the yellow batter, don’t mix them together.
*Bake for approx. 45 minutes or until the top springs back to the touch.  Let cool for 20 minutes before removing from the pan.
*When cake is cool, microwave the unsweetened chocolate and butter until melted. Wisk until smooth.  Wisk in the powdered sugar and milk, again until smooth.  Drizzle over cooled cake.  Sprinkle with nonpareils.