My brain tends to be very analytical. It’s probably a by-product of being related to so many CPAs. Whatever the reason, I have a hard time believing what I can’t prove. But there’s another side too, I can’t really dismiss what I can’t disprove either. So I’m on the fence. Not about the particular Medium I was watching, I have all kinds of questions specific to her claims, but about the possibility as a whole. And yet, I’ve had an experience of my own:
When I first moved here I was looking for someone to clean my house. A new friend recommended Janet. I met her and hired her and never looked back. When I moved from that rental home to my first home and then to this current home, Janet stayed on. She was a staple in our lives.
And Janet had a front row seat to all the stages of my life. From the surgeries, In Vitro, lost pregnancies and the birth of my boys, Janet was here. And I got to know her family as well.
When my first son was born, Janet’s husband made a wooden pegged wall hanging for my nursery. It was decorated with a piece of the wall paper I had chosen, she had snuck it out to keep the gift a surprise. Over the years it’s been painted but we have it still.
When my boys were in elementary school and started to develop their own taste in music, Janet had us stop by her house one day to find that her son had burned my boys a CD of their favorite songs.
And one year, 5 days before my New Year’s brunch, where I typically hosted up to 40 guests, Janet and I fought all day as she cleaned my house. She had the flu and I wanted her to go home but she insisted on doing the basics to get my house ready. Five days later she and her husband were amongst my guests.
When Janet told me that she was forced to stop working because she had just been diagnosed with Leukemia, I was stunned. My boys drew her cards for her room during the times she was undergoing treatment. I brought her family dinner during the spans when she was home. And I joined her in rejoicing in the outpouring of love from so many of her clients who had grown to love her.
My boys were young, but they wanted to attend Janet’s funeral and I granted them that. But it was a full year before I felt able to visit her grave. One warm summer day the boys and I bought one flower each and went to find her tombstone. We sat for a while and didn’t talk to her but about her. I’m glad we went but I won’t be back.
I had many people clean my house over the next few years. For the longest time I just couldn’t find someone who met my standards. Finally about 3 years ago a neighbor recommended Susan. I have to admit that I don’t like Susan. She’s gruff and difficult and can be defensive and angry. She actually intimidates me in my own home. But she did a great job cleaning my house and I hired her.
The day after I hired Susan, I was in the laundry room. The sun was coming through the window and hit an area up on the wall. It drew my attention and high up, stuck on a piece of the wood that holds my rod to the wall, was a feather from Janet’s duster. I didn’t think but actually knew: Janet knows I’ve hired someone.
Later that same day I was in the kitchen when a beam of light from the kitchen window shone onto the upper oven door. It highlighted some fingerprints. Again, a knowledge hit me: Janet wants me to know that no one can care for my home as well as Janet did. And that was SO Janet that it made me smile.
It isn’t as thought I thought these instances through. I really didn’t. If I were to, I’d acknowledge that there’s really nothing mysterious about light shining in windows. Or a piece of feather stuck to a sliver of wood. Or Susan missing a fingerprint on an oven. I don’t know how to explain how a skeptical, left brained woman “knew” that this was Janet, but I believed it then and I still do.
All these years later Susan still works here. I’m very protective of that feather, still stuck to the sliver of wood in the laundry room. And I still miss Janet.
Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
1 # package Elbow Macaroni
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups half and half
3 cups Sharp Cheddar, shredded
1/4 cup cooked bacon bits
2 TBSP seasoned bread crumbs, plus more for top
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp paprika, plus more for top
Directions:
*Grease a 9 X 13 baking dish. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
*Cook macaroni to al dents. Rinse 2 or 3 times with cold water to stop the cooking process and cool it down. Drain well.
*Mix all the rest of the ingredients into the macaroni. Be sure it's mixed well.
*Put into the prepared dish. Make sure it's evenly distributed in the dish.Sprinkle lightly with more bread crumbs and paprika.
*Bake for 30 minutes. It should be bubbling around the edges.
*Remove from oven and let cool slightly. Cut and serve.
