Passion and Repercussions: Secret Subject Swap

Welcome a Secret Subject Swap. This month 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.

My subject is: You are asked to give a talk about something you are passionate about but it may be controversial - do you decline or share your views knowing there could be repercussions?
It was submitted by: Carol of Never Ever Give Up Hope.

I know that you give talks regularly, Carol. Hubs can do it too. Me? Not so much. Once or twice I tried to talk just in a group of co-workers who I knew and my voice shook so badly I was incredibly embarrassed. I used to joke that when it comes to public speaking, I can barely talk to two people at a time.

But your question actually brings up some important points about commitment to your beliefs, when it is comfortable to express them and when it's not, and over and above comfortable, when the repercussions are worth it. All of these need to be weighed carefully.

Since I don't speak publicly (well, actually I do, through this blog), I'm going to just tweak your question a bit to fit my circumstances, which are that I have this blog, a FB page for my blog with a decent sized following, over 15,000 likes on the page, a small Baking In A Tornado private FB group as well as my personal page. The thought process I use for posting in these places would be the same as I'd use for public speaking. 

I am passionate about quite a few issues right now, more than ever before. In this political and social climate, it's pretty hard to take a back seat. Everything is out there. There are daily assaults to equal rights, the environment and our health care system. There are extreme measures being taken to deal with those coming here begging for asylum, Marijuana is still a schedule 1 drug in many states, the federal government after 16 years will start putting people to death again, antisemitism is on the rise, mental health is still stigmatized, our president and a supreme court justice have been credibly accused of sexual assault, our media is being villainized and our children are being murdered in school. How can you not be passionate about at least some of the issues that pummel us daily?

But there are passionate people on both sides of these issues an the truth is that despite all the discourse, neither side is getting through to the other. We've sunk to anger, bullying and tribalism. 

So in that quagmire, do you speak out? Do you dare not? My answer is that I pick my spots. I say what I want to say on this blog. I don't do it constantly or regularly, but none of my regular readers have any question as to where I stand on the important issues of the day. Conversely, I have tried, a few times, to have discussions on the blog FB page. I think many people come to the Baking In A Tornado page for the humor and/or for the recipes, not for my personal political or social viewpoints.

Vanilla French Toast Waffles

So speaking my mind on controversial issues often doesn't go well on that page and with that large of a group. Invariably someone answers with anger and insults, ends up unliking my page and leaving in a (virtual) huff. I try, each time, to let them know that I want them to stay, welcome their polite and thoughtful rebuttal to my opinions, but ultimately I end up feeling badly about the situation. The more people we turn away, the thicker those dividing lines, which is the opposite of what I hope for us as a country and as a society. So the only thing controversial I do now on that page is to promote the occasional political blog post, but I don't get into any issues there. As far as the small private Baking In A Tornado FB group goes, I set it up specifically asking that we refrain from any political or religious discussion there. 

My personal FB page, now that's another story. This is a page where I am friends with family, personal friends, blog friends and acquaintances. Here I say whatever I want no matter how controversial. When it comes to religion and to politics, it seems that a great number of people I know are on the opposite side of the spectrum from me. I see their posts and if I don't agree, I move on to the next post in my news feed. If they are just acquaintances, I may stay friends but just "unfollow" their page. But they have as much right to express themselves as I do. It is my true belief that if you have to stifle yourself around friends and family, you need to reassess your relationships.

When it comes to repercussions, this is especially crucial because not all of the repercussions of what we say end up being ours to suffer. I've talked before about a blog post that's been in my drafts for 7 years now. Seven years. I talk about something about which I am deeply passionate in the piece. It's my story because I was and continue to live it. But it's also someone else's story, and that's mostly why I never hit "publish". He's refused to read the post but, years ago, gave me permission to put it out there. So far I haven't been able to. What's stopped me? Repercussions. Knowing that when it comes to the internet, once you put something out there you cannot take it back, I believe in erring on the side of caution. So although I can suffer consequences of my words if the repercussions are mine, causing someone else's suffering is where I draw the line. 

What about you? Where is your line?

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Wandering Web Designer 
Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles   
Never Ever Give Up Hope 
Our Prime Years 
Climaxed 
Part-time Working Hockey Mom 

Vanilla French Toast Waffles

                                                                          ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
8 slices of bread
3 eggs
1/3 cup French Vanilla creamer
1 1/4 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cinnamon

*Opt: fresh fruit, whipped cream, maple syrup or any other toppings of your choice

Directions:
*Place the bread on the counter to allow to harden a bit.
*Grease your waffle iron and heat. While the iron is heating, whisk together the eggs, creamer, vanilla, salt and cinnamon in a shallow baking dish.
*Once the waffle iron is ready, immerse a slice of bread in the egg mixture, flip over and coat the other side. Hold over the baking dish to drain a bit.
*Place in the waffle iron and close. It is done and ready to remove once it's browned and starting to crisp. Keep warm.
*Repeat with each slice of bread, making sure to keep the waffle iron greased and reheating it between uses.
*Serve with topping(s) of your choice.

Need to NOT Know

There are three levels of information reception: that which you need to know, you don't need to know, and you need to NOT know.

I thought that all of this forgetfulness was because of my age. But lately I've come to another conclusion. And you know what? It makes a whole lot of sense. It's not about senility, it's not even about stress, it's about capacity. The brain is not a sieve, it's a vessel. I like to think of mine as a wine decanter, but that may be beside the point. When you're young, you can put all kinds of things in there and they just slosh around in all that space. But as you go through life, more information goes in, and it's got less space to fill, but that's OK, it's not like its spilling over. Yet.

But eventually, at some point, you need to start discriminating, choosing what you're gonna let in that glass and what is just not needed. Use your space wisely. Because if you're going to let in any inane, witless piece of junk, something's going to pour out. And, I've found, you don't get to choose. Whatever drains, drains. So, for instance, you may know that the face Suzy's dog makes looks like he's smiling, but not why you just walked into the kitchen.

And more than just not having the capacity to process it all, it's also true that there may be some flotsam and jetsam that can actually taint the waters, so to speak.

See, it's not that I'm getting old, I'm just not using my capacity wisely. 

TMI is a thing, friends. In fact, it seems these days too much information has taken on a life of its own. In light of my recent epiphany, let me just say that if there are questionable tidbits of information you share just with those on your own private "need to know" list, tell me how to unsubscribe. Because, although we applaud curiosity as a way to further our understanding of the world, and I agree with that philosophy, there are just some things I don't need to know.

In fact, as I take control of my information retention, let me be clear, there are things that I desperately seriously, critically, acutely, perilously need to NOT know.

This is true whether you're sitting in my kitchen over a cup of coffee and a donut, or you're a frequent guest in any of my social media news feeds. 

Baked Cookies and Creme Donuts

This week's treasure trove of things I need to not know:
 
* I need to NOT know how many times your reaction to your current medication has sent you running to the bathroom.

* I need to NOT know the size of your cat's hairball. And please, in the name of all that is holy, do not include a picture.

* I need to NOT know any other body function (or malfunction) that occurs when you sneeze.

* I need to NOT know what your husband calls his favorite body part. Nor what you call it.

* I need to NOT know what you stepped in on your daily walk. Not how it looked, felt, what it sounded or smelled like. Nothing.

* I need to NOT know that you wore your underwear inside out today. I do it all the time but you don't see me talking about it (oops, I think I just did). And if you wear them on your head, or if your significant other wears them or pretty much anything else underwear related, it all falls under this need to not know umbrella.

* I need to NOT know the blow by blow gory step by step details of your recent surgery. I'd be happy to wish you well, however, if you just let me know that you'd had surgery. Or stitches. Or even a little boo boo.

* I need to NOT know anything at all that includes the words: cockroaches, puss, manscaping, fungus, phlegm or tripe. Under any circumstances. Ever.

* I need to NOT know that you're dry. Anywhere. Or wet for that matter.

* I need to NOT know what color your child's poop is (was, or ever will be).

My brain thanks you.
  

Baked Cookies and Creme Donuts        
                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 TBSP French Vanilla creamer
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs, room temperature
5 TBSP butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 1/2 cups flour 
2/3 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup Oreo Thin Bites Cookies, crushed

1/2 cup powdered sugar
3/4 cup baking cocoa
about 5 - 7 TBSP French Vanilla creamer
1/3 cup Oreo Thin Bites Cookies, crushed

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Grease 12 donut pan cups.
*Whisk together the buttermilk, 2 TBSP French Vanilla creamer, vanilla and eggs, then the melted butter.
*Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add to the liquid mixture, just until incorporated. Fold in the 1/2 cup Oreo Thin Bites cookie crumbs.
*Spoon or pipe evenly into the prepared donut pan(s). Bake for 10 - 12 minutes, or until the center springs back to the touch. Cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing.
*Whisk together the powdered sugar, baking cocoa and as much French Vanilla creamer as is needed to get the mixture to a glaze consistency. Dip tops of the warm donuts into the glaze. Immediately sprinkle with the remaining crushed cookies. Allow to set

Pants nor Hair

Social media. It's a treasure trove of opinions, recommendations, news and fake news, and just plain cliches. What is it with people and tired old lines? Some I see on a daily basis. 

I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've seen FB posts by exhausted people (usually moms of little ones) saying something along the lines of not wanting to wake up so early. To which someone invariably responds "it's better than the alternative". Really? I don't think so. 'Cause the alternative is sleeping till noon. 

And speaking of exhausted:

Liar, liar, pants on fire. In the current political climate, these words pass through my facebook news feed daily. Let me tell you, I'm the first to admit that there can be repercussions for lying. But let me also tell you this: when the boys were little and Hubs would travel a week every month, I would often tell them it was bed time (they couldn't yet tell time) an hour before it actually was. And never, not once, did any piece of my clothing catch fire.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of fire, I just saw a pundit on TV (no, it's not social media, but it ties in) saying, when it comes to the subject of impeachment, she's surprised the democrats aren't running around with their hair on fire. I know why. It's not that they don't think there's an emergency, it's just that they've been taught to stop, drop and roll.

There's so much that visual right now, fewer words more pictures. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and more have brought about the age of pictures. But that doesn't mean a picture's worth a thousand words however. Take this picture for instance:

it's worth precisely one word: OUCH!

And btw, if you think actions speak louder than words, you've never heard a 3 year old screaming for . . . whatever it is they want.

Lots of talk about two subjects, money and love. And the old favorite "money can't buy you love". Hello? Anyone ever heard of Trump? Apparently money's bought him porn stars, strippers, and who knows what in Russia. If that doesn't really count as love, it's also bought him 3 wives. Or is that still not love too?

Now when it comes to love, "make love not war" and "love the one you're with", never hear those any more. Know why? Because of the little surprises that kept showing up 9 months later.

Here are a few more sayings I don't hear any more: Easy as pie. And Half baked. Listen, pie's not so easy and half baked? Well, lets just say that has a whole different connotation. One, coincidentally, that can make a person mighty hungry . . . for pie.

Dark Chocolate Strawberry Clafoutis

I see a lot of postings about empowerment. Often, since most of my social media friends are women, it's often about (but not exclusive to) female empowerment. A favorite is some version or other of the saying "women need men like fish need a bicycle". Well there must be at least some fish who like to ride because let me tell you, a man is exactly what I need when there's a spider in the house.

When it comes to kindness, I've gotten so sick of the "shirt off their back" cliche, I posted this on my own FB page recently:

I love true life murder mysteries, watch a ton of ID and Oxygen channel shows.

Every murder victim, every one, is described by a family member as being someone who "was just so kind, he/she would give you the shirt off their back."

Which, actually, I find reassuring.

Clearly I'm not going to ever be a murder victim.

And finally, let's address "count your blessings". It's a sentiment posted in an (over)abundance of memes that I see daily. It's a great reminder, but it always makes me laugh in a "been there, done that" way. For those of you who don't know, my last name is Blessing. So once my kids were old enough to walk, and most frequently in two different directions, "count your blessings" was something I did every time we went pretty much anywhere. One, two, yup, got 'em both. 

Dark Chocolate Strawberry Clafoutis         
                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
3 TBSP butter, divided
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk
3 eggs
1/2 cup flour
5 - 6 strawberries, hulled and sliced

1/4 cup powdered sugar

Directions:
*Melt the dark chocolate chips until completely smooth when stirred. Set aside to cool slightly.
*Melt 2 TBSP of the butter. Set aside to cool slightly.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 10 inch pie pan. Place the remaining 1 TBSP butter into the pie pan.
*Whisk together the melted chocolate chips, melted butter, brown sugar, vanilla and salt. Whisk in the milk and eggs. Last, vigorously whisk in the flour.
*Place the prepared pie pan into the oven for about 3 minutes or until the butter melts. Carefully remove from oven and swirl the butter around in the bottom of the pie plate.
*Pour the batter into the pie plate. Place the strawberries around the top and return to oven. Bake for about 35 to 40 minutes until the edges puff and the center is just cooked.
*Place on the counter and cool until no longer hot but still warm. It will set and deflate some. 
*Serve sprinkled with powdered sugar.