Someone help me, I’ve gone from living near ski mountains and ocean to "the home of the testicle festival”.I admit I’m still, after all this time, a fish out of water in the Midwest. I knew coming here that there was no ocean, but I was encouraged when I looked at a map and saw all the local lakes. Sad but resigned to freshwater swimming, I went right back to discouraged when I called the Parks Department to ask which lakes had beaches on them and they laughed at me. So literally fish out of water.
I have to keep reminding myself that my kids are from here. And I’ve really tried to adapt, well at least linguistically. I’ve even resorted to Midwest speak:
I’ve learned to say “sucker” but I know it’s a lollipop.
I’ve learned to say “pop” but I know it’s soda.
I did have one other little backslide. In the name of honesty I have to admit that when Younger Son was in third grade I told his speech therapist that I didn’t mind that he couldn’t say his “R”s, as I’m from New England and I happen to know they’re silent.
Despite what a waitress once asked me, I’m not from England, I'm from New England. Been to England, loved it, I'm just not from there. Wherever I’m from, I know that I speak the indigenous language, so it just makes me crazy when I say something and everyone acts as if I haven’t spoken at all. Here’s another one of my favorites, when I recommend something that’s dismissed, then someone else suggests it and suddenly it’s the best idea ever. “Hello?” I know they can hear me. Younger Son's had multiple surgeries and has been hearing optimally for years. Older Son was an easygoing and content baby who really only cried when I'd sing, so he obviously hears too. Then why do I find myself constantly saying: “Hey, I know you speak English, I taught it to you”.
That’s OK, I’ve got a plan. I’m going to grab a LOLLIPOP and head out to the PACKIE, bring my BAG home, PAHHHK my CAHHH in the garage, mix my Vanilla Rum with SODA(diet coke, I think), make some Lemonade Cheesecake Cups (using FLUFF), sprinkle them withJ
IMMIES, and then just for fun, kids, I think I’ll sing.
Lemonade Cheesecake Cups
1 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp powdered sugar
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 pkt pink lemonade Kool-Aid
1 8oz container FLUFF
*Beat cream cheese and butter. Sir in flour. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill 1 hour.
Filling adapted from Confetti Cups by easybaked.net