Friday, June 28, 2013

Full of Bull

There are so many things an Easterner is not used to when transplanted to the Midwest. There’s the language (see Can You Hear Me Now), the restaurants that argue that the Langostinos they just served are the Maine Lobster tails that I ordered, and the trying to pawn off a snow covered garbage dump as a ski slope (don’t ask). But in June it becomes clear that I’ve not just been relocated to a place I cannot adjust to, I’ve clearly fallen down the “rabbit hole”.

Because June, my friends, is not just for garage sales (see For Sale). June is the month of the annual Testicle Festival.

I have to admit that the first time I saw a commercial for this culinary event I was impressed. A local restaurant put out a joke television advertisement just to give people a good laugh? What a great marketing tool, because any business with a sense of humor is worth checking out.



Full of Bull - Bakinginatornado.com

Open rabbit hole, insert me. ‘Cause folks, this thing is for real.

This year marked the 20th annual Testicle Festival. It’s on the web, it’s even on Facebook. It’s a 2 day affair with a band (to drown out the sound of gagging?) a cover charge (can’t eat those things without paying for the privilege?), an outdoor Beer Garden (gotta wash those suckers down and water just won’t do?)

And while checking it out I found out so many things. Like that its close friends call it by its nickname: the Testy Festy. And the dish itself is called many things from “grab some balls” to “bull fries come with pickles” to “gotta try these Rocky Mountain Oysters” (way to ruin seafood for me).

I found comments: “we had a ball”.
Compliments: “this place has the best nuts”.
Culinary info: “we batter and fry those suckers”.
Questions: “are you just offering beef nuts or are there others as well ?” 
And one lone voice of reason: “YUCK!”

Now I’ve come to accept the fact that although I’ll always be a Bostonian, my kids are Midwest born and raised. They’ve been to the East Coast many, many times, but this is their home. And I’ve had to learn to live with the fact that they “talk the talk”. But I am their mother and this is where I draw the line. In indelible ink. There will be no “walking the walk”. Right boys?

 
Chocolate Toast Crunch Cups - Bakinginatornado.com
Chocolate Toast Crunch Cups

Bakinginatornado.com

PS: no balls were used in the making of this recipe.


Chocolate Toast Crunch Cups
                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 stick margarine
3 cups Frosted Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal
1/3 cup toffee bits
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1/2 cup dark or semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup caramel bits
1 can sweetened condensed milk

Directions:
*Line a 12 cup muffin tin with cupcake papers. Spray inside the papers with non-stick spray or they will stick to the papers.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Melt margarine in a microwave for approximately 30 seconds or until completely liquid.
*Finely crush cereal, either in a food processor or in a plastic bag with a food mallet.
*Add the cereal to the margarine and mix well. It’s the right consistency if you can pinch a little in your fingers and it stays together. Because measuring the cereal isn’t exact, you may need to add a little more cereal or a little more melted margarine to get the consistency right.
*Divide the cereal evenly into all of the cupcake papers. Press down firmly.
*Sprinkle the toffee bits onto the cereal crust, then the white chocolate chips, then the dark or semisweet chocolate chips, followed by the caramel bits.
*Evenly distribute the sweetened condensed milk over the caramel bits. Don’t fill too full or the milk will bubble out of the cups.
*Bake for 20 minutes.
*Immediately run a knife around the cups between the paper and the tin so nothing sticks to the tin, but do not remove from muffin tin.
*Allow to cool and set before removing from muffin tin.

43 comments:

  1. LOL...This post is a bunch of BULL-oney!

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    Replies
    1. LOL, I don't know what made me laugh more, writing this post or reading these comments.

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  2. Seriously?

    What the heck is wrong with people?! TESTICLES?! *sigh* It's like a voluntary Fear Factor. Maybe it will be TESTACULAR! BWAHAHAHAHAHA (sorry, I amuse myself...lol)

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  3. Testicle festival??? OMGOsh that is too funny. We (my hometown) has the croaker festival,mumfest, oyster fest and things like that. I grew up raising hogs so I understand what it means to get up early and cut,drain, boil and cook all day means. YUCK

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    1. YUCK is right. Guess there's gross stuff everywhere. But there are some things I could have happily gone through my life never knowing about.

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  4. EWWW! I grew up in southern California and now I'm in south Florida. It's a HUGE difference but I'm getting used to it after 6 years. Very little shocks me these days!

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    1. Hearing about the Testicle Festival taught me that I'm obviously still shock-able.

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  5. I got nauseous reading the post, and a toothache reading the recipe. If I can't eat and end up losing a pound today, I have you to thank!

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    1. I'm with you on the nauseous part, but if reading this post gives you a toothache, there's not a whole lot of my posts that AREN'T going to pretty much do the same. You're welcome.

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  6. Testicle Festival!!!! While I'm not big on eating testicles of any animal, the name sure is fun to say!

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    Replies
    1. It would be a lot more fun to say if my stomach didn't turn every time I say it . . .

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  7. I would go to this festival but ONLY for the beer! And I'll admit, when I first clicked on this post and saw the title, I was praying the recipe didn't have bull testicles in it!! Thank goodness you stuck with something yummy and sweet!

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    Replies
    1. You're more brave than I am, I don't think I could even go for the beer. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep it down . . .

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  8. Oh hellz no! Give me a good steak anytime but I ain't going anywhere near that part of the bull!

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  9. Um, that can not be USDA choice meat ...

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you all stopped by to amuse me today!

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  10. Ew ew ew ew ew!! Seriously? Just..... ew!

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  11. Oh my word woman! lol where the heck do you live? LOL...All I can think of is Chevy Chase trying to break the record eating those "Lamb Fries" lol...only that wherever you are, they are quite larger right? and they would belong to a bull as well...right? already then...I want to say enjoy but I really don't have the Co**nes to say that, Ha! ok...I better go to sleep now...this conversation is getting out of control, Hugs Karen and you draw that line in blood if necessary! LOL

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    1. I have no idea how big they are. I'm happy to say I've never looked. That includes both on the plate and on the bull!

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    2. I just can't stop laughing!!You are hilarious!

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  12. And now I know how you can work bull testicles into a post. You'd have to have some seriously big cojones to be able to stomach a festival like this one.

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha. So many firsts. Never thought I'd do an entire post on bull testicles. But then I never thought I'd live somewhere where they eat them.

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  13. Oh Karen, I was expecting to see a real deal bull ball recipe to go with the post. I'll try anything once mate and you should have a go. It's a once in a lifetime experience. Just close your eyes, chew and swallow. So go on, walk the walk :)

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    Replies
    1. Sorry, no walking. I'm gonna run away from this one.

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  14. I'm thinking of the time I was at the grocery store, in the SEAFOOD section, and this timid woman was asking for rocky mountain oysters. Her husband sent her to ask for them. Jerk. She was mortified when the butcher explained that they were "the part that went over the fence last."
    There are a few things in this world that I will NEVER get drunk enough to try, and this is one of those things.
    P.S What's wrong with using 12 cups of chocolate chips? Sheesh.

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    1. I can tell you for sure that I'd be more apt to use 12 cups of chocolate chips in my dessert than eat bull testicles for dinner.

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  15. LOLOLOLOLOL....I wanted to be clean...but...I wonder if they offer tea bags????? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I could never go...but once bought Balboa a dried bull's penis as it was told to me it was a great natural chew for him...even he wanted nothing to do with it1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, yuck, LOL!

      And poor Balboa probably thought you were punishing him!

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  16. I hear you! I am from California and moved to the Twilight Zone (Iowa) 14 years ago. They have some weird stuff here, but most of it revolves around pork and sandwiches that are loose meat and have to be eaten with a spoon :P Thanks God I don't have to deal with Testy Festy...Yikes!

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    1. That's so funny that you call it "moved to the Twilight Zone". I call it "moved away from civilization". Sounds like we're in the same boat. Too bad there's no ocean around.

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  17. Love lamb fries. So good! Never had the bull fries!

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    1. You're far more adventurous than I am. You need to take the next step and try the bull "fries". Never thought I'd be saying that to anyone!

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  18. I can't even bring myself to type it. Can't do it. Ew, ew and ew. :)

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    1. Kinda makes your stomach flip, doesn't it? And you don't get used to the idea either, every year I have the same reaction.

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  19. Dying. Abolutely dying. I hate that i had to wait this long to finally read this!! The Testy Festy! Bwahahaha! I really think you needed a meatball recipe with this one. Possibly something in a dough ball? We have a bacon fest here in San Diego that I will be attending for the first time in August. I'll let you know if there are any pork balls present.
    This was awesome!
    Vicky

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, I may never eat meatballs again. Now a bacon fest? I'd be first in line!

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  20. Alright, where in the world was I when this magic happened? You know the story of my son watching the horse go through the castration. I can't believe people would eat that stuff.
    Since I am a classy, commenter-extraordinaire, I will say that I would NOT be seen in public with my mouth full of unfamiliar balls. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you WOULD be seen in public with your mouth full of familiar ones?

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  21. Reminds me of a joke! A man goes into a restaurant in Mexico and sees a man eating an entree that looks and smells absolutely wonderful and it was such a huge portion! He asks the waitress if he can have the same thing. The waitress explains that it's bull balls from the local bull fighting arena so the entree must be ordered 24 hours in advance. So he places an order for the next day. The man arrives the following day and reminds the waitress that he had ordered the entree the previous day. The waitress brings him his plate and there were two tiny marble sized balls in the center of the platter. The man inquired why there was so little on the plate and the waitress tells him, "Well Senor, sometimes the bull, he wins!

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    1. LOVE that joke, hysterical. Perfect for this post.

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