Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Testing

Last week, in anticipation of my upcoming empty nest yet desire to continue blogging, I published an application in my Help Wanted post. I’m trying to find applicants with attributes similar to those of my boys to take on their ability to cause the stress that results in my inspire me to both bake and blog when they both leave for college in a month. Anyone who’s read this blog over the past two years knows that those boys are a pain in the a$$ unique in their attitudes and actions.

Congratulations to those who’ve made it through the application process. Before we sit down for an interview we have one more step. I’m conducting a test. Don’t be concerned, there’s no right or wrong, this is just to help me better understand whether your natural instincts are a good fit as a stand-in for the boys.

Testing - Baking In A Tornado

For each of the scenarios below, just pick the answer that you feel fits best with who you are. To assure that you respond with your initial instincts, you’ll only have 1 minute to complete this survey so use your time wisely. Good luck.

Questionnaire

1) The phone is ringing. Do you:
     a) answer it
     b) mind your own business
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

2) The tornado signs are going off. Do you:
     a) bake
     b) put on your headphones
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

3) The toilet is clogged. Do you:
     a) grab the plunger
     b) keep flushing and flushing and flushing . . .
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

4) There’s only a little milk left in the fridge. Do you:
     a) ask if anyone needs it for baking
     b) drink it based on both first come, first served and finders keepers, losers weepers
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

5) You’re called to dinner. Do you:
     a) sit down and eat what you can
     b) say you don’t like it even though you don’t know what it is yet
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

6) The hand towel from the bathroom is in the wash and no one’s replaced it yet. Do you:
     a) call out to see if someone can bring you a towel
     b) air dry your hands by waving them around, flinging water all over the bathroom
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

7) The newspaper is in the driveway. Do you:
     a) bring it in the house
     b) run over it with your car
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

8) The timer goes off, the treats are done and no one’s around. Do you:
     a) pull the pan out of the oven and put it on the counter
     b) open the oven and eat the treats out of the pan so they don’t burn
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above


Toasted PBJ Cups - Baking In A Tornado
Toasted PBJ Cups

 Toasted PBJ Cups - Baking In A Tornado



9) There’s a $20 bill sitting on the desk in the kitchen. Do you:
     a) leave it there, it’s there for a reason
     b) take it, it was clearly meant for you
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

10) I’ve bumped my toe on the coffee table. I’m writhing on the floor, wincing and trying not to cry. Do you:
     a) see if you can help
     b) step over me so you don’t have to ask me to move out of your way
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

11) You’ve borrowed the car and it’s almost out of gas. Do you:
     a) go to a gas station and put a little gas in
     b) rush home hoping you make it
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

12) The windows are open and it’s just started to pour. Do you:
     a) quickly get the windows closed
     b) assume that they were opened for a reason
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

13) You’re locked out of the house, you’ve forgotten your key. Do you:
     a) use the keypad outside the garage door
     b) break a window, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

14) Most of the cake is gone, there are 2 slices left. Do you:
     a) eat one slice
     b) eat them both so no one can fight over them
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

15) You come in to work in the morning. There’s no coffee and you know how I am without my coffee. Do you:
     a) quickly get the coffee maker started
     b) quietly back out of the house and call in sick from the driveway
     c) all of the above
     d) none of the above

All tests will be scored when I d@mn well get around to it immediately. For every question that you responded to with a “b”, you will be awarded one point. No other answers acquire points. Anyone scoring 15 points can expect to be granted an interview.
As I said last week, interviews will be scheduled by employer. Baked goods will be served. BYOB.


Baking In A Tornado
PS: A more savory version of this recipe can be seen here: Chicken Brunch Cups.


Toasted PBJ Cups
                                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
6 slices of bread (I removed the crust)
½ cup peanut butter
¼ cup jelly of your choice
6 marshmallows
6 berries
 
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Either spray a 6 cup muffin tin with non-stick spray or grease the cups with butter.
*Using a rolling pin, flatten the bread slices.
*Pinching the sides in, fit the bread slices into the muffin cups. Tamp down the sides and bottom.
*Mix together the peanut butter and the jelly.
*Put a dollop of the peanut butter mixture into each of the 6 bread slices. Press a marshmallow into the center of each.
*Cook for 15 minutes, until the marshmallow is browning.
*Remove from oven, run a knife gently around the sides of each cup and carefully remove from pan.
*Place a berry on the top of each marshmallow.

32 comments:

  1. Baahahahaha! I'm at the office, but I kept chuckling about your questions! I am afraid I did poorly on the test, though. Too considerate? Only 4 points. At least I scored some, right?
    Great post, thanks for making me laugh on this rainy day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only 4 points? You're no match for my boys!

      Delete
  2. I'm sitting in Starbucks, giggling uncontrollably. People are staring at me, and one person just asked how many cups of coffee I've had this morning. Your job is done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay. So glad I brought a laugh to your morning.

      Delete
  3. I'm with Tamara, guess I'm just too nice. It appears that we'd spend too much time baking and doing kind things if we were together. Good luck with the inspiration search. Maybe you should post a notice on your son's favorite gamer's bulletin board.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL and yum. My basic reactions to each of your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take both of those reactions, just what I was going for.

      Delete
  5. I was reading this and thinking, hmm if I were her boys... yeah the answers are B.
    Lucky you ;)
    Spatulas On Parade

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So now it's all in the open. Everyone knows exactly why I bake. . . and blog!

      Delete
  6. I have to admit that 75 percent of the time I go straight to the recipe because the PHOTO is always so interesting! But ok, today I read your hilarious post and now i'm going to have to be sure to read them ALL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, read them all. I think you need to go to my first post and start there . . .

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. So glad to hear that. Let me know how it goes.

      Delete
  8. For numbers 6 & 7 I'd answer "D". I'd dry my hands on my jeans. As for the newspaper, I'd toss it from the driveway closer to the front door. From there, it's someone else's problem. For number 10, I'd probably help you up but not before I stood over you for a bit, laughed & made fun of your pain for a bit. Most of the rest would most likely be "B".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IDK, Vinny, that's 20% of the questions not answered consistent with the control group. This may be a "don't call us, we'll call you" situation. Sheesh, and I had such high hopes for you too.

      Delete
  9. I completely failed the test - as I suspected, I'm not a teenager anymore. I do have a slightly used 16 year old who could fill in when needed. What a creative recipe - and they look SO good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like your 16 year old needs to fill out an application.

      Delete
  10. Oh Em GEEEE those look amazeballs!!! Please oh please oh please can I be picked? lol

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dang, I failed. But the kid inside me passed with flying colors. Can I come over and have you make me something sweet? Because, um, peanut butter, jelly and marshmallows. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh hell yeah, I'll even buy some Circus Peanuts.

      Delete
  12. Yeah, I'm having a perverse morning. Perfect 15 out of 15! Maybe that's not a good thing . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that would depend on how much like my teenagers you want to be . . .

      Delete
  13. Well I'm grown so I know how I'm supposed to act but I have a husband, 4 brothers, 1 son and so far 2 grandsons soI really know how to act like an asshole ....do I get the job yet Karen? How long are you going to make me beg! I already told you my oven hates me!!!! As for the test I pretended to be my son and answered to all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're definitely in the running. I honestly had no idea this job would be so popular.

      Delete
  14. Clearly I'm not a good fit; my answers were all A's. It's that Mum gene.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clearly this is not the job for you. Maybe next time.

      Delete
  15. I guess I am not a good fit for you either. My answers would have been all A's. Very cute post, good luck with the interviews.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may not be a good replacement for the boys but you'd sure cause a lot fewer headaches. Thanks for trying!

      Delete

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