Boo Boos and Bandaids

I’m sick. DO NOT ring my doorbell unless you don’t mind my answering with a tissue sticking out of my left nostril. It seems someone put a faucet where my nose belongs. It’s been running and I’m raw from wiping it so I’ve resorted to shoving a tissue up there. I don’t care, it works.

People downplay colds, but they’re really quite debilitating. It’s hard to get anything done when you can’t breathe, smell, or taste, and you feel like someone shoved a pumpkin in your head. It’s getting a little crowded in there, something’s gotta go and I don’t yet know whether it’ll be the pumpkin or my brain.

Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean that any of my responsibilities go away. I still have things that need to get done and I have to tell you there is nothing better than having a cold when you’re trying to get your grocery shopping done quickly.  Just go into a crowded aisle and start coughing up a lung. Those Moms scatter faster than a speed skater on ice.  You have the aisle to yourself, and if you do this in each aisle you’ll be out of there in no time.  Now sneezing is OK, go ahead if you have to but take my word for it, coughing is the way to go.

I remember when I first got married I thought I had the kindest husband in the world.  I was sick and going to do the laundry and he stopped me. “You’re sick, relax, you don’t have to do the laundry”. WOW. I was impressed.  After a full day at work he was going to do the laundry. Silly me. What he actually meant was that the laundry would still be there when I felt better.

So not the kindest husband in the world, but he’s got me to deal with and I’m not exactly sympathetic either.  When Older Son was 5, he was at a birthday party just a mile away from our house.  Younger Son and I were in the house and Husband was trimming a tree with an electric trimmer saw thingy. Husband and electric trimmer saw thingies do not belong in the same sentence let alone the same yard. He cut his finger and was gushing blood, but it was time to pick Older Son up at the birthday party and I didn’t want to leave him stranded.  I put Husband into the bathroom with instructions to put pressure on the wound while holding his hand over the sink and not to bleed on my floor. 
  

 Edible (gross!) Bandaids for the BooBoos

When they were little, I went for daily 4 mile walks around our neighborhood pushing the boys in a double stroller singing a song of our phone number and address that I had made up for them. Husband was looking a little white so I put Younger Son (who was 4) in the bathroom with the phone and told him that if daddy went to sleep and fell on the floor to call 911 and sing them our address.

I was only gone maybe 10 minutes and when I got home I immediately dropped Husband off at Urgent Care so although I’m maybe not the most sympathetic person in the world, it’s not like he’s still sitting in the bathroom bleeding out.

 Bloody Eyeballs

So yes, I’m sick.  And yes, I’ll get over it.  After all there’s so much more Halloween fun to be had.  But if you want a little advice, let me just say that for the next week or so, don’t ring my doorbell . . . and stay out of my grocery store. 

Printable Recipes

Bandaids:
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Ingredients:
Square, round and rectangular crackers

Marshmallows, cut into pieces

Food-writing gel (red, green, yellow)

Directions:
*Mold pieces of marshmallows to the approximate size you want for your “gauze” and put onto middle of cracker.

*Put cracker into microwave for about 15 seconds to make the marshmallow pliable.

*Manipulate marshmallow (I use a wet knife) to the size and shape you want.

*Decorate with food writing gel, then move the gel around with a knife to make it look smeared.

Bloody Eyeballs
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Ingredients:
½ cup semisweet chocolate chips, melted

4 oz cream cheese, softened

1 pkg dark chocolate fudge stripe cookies cookies (can use oreos)

White bark candy coating

Gummy life savers

Mini M&Ms

Red food-writing gel

Directions:
*Place cookies in food processor and process until the consistency of graham cracker crumbs. 

*Mix cookie crumbs with melted chocolate and cream cheese until it forms a dough ball. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm, about 1 – 1 ½ hours. 

*Stick mini M&Ms into the holes of the gummy life savers.

*Roll the cookie crumb dough into round balls for the eyeballs and form into an oval shape, pinching off one end a bit for the face.

*Melt some white bark and stir until smooth.  Use a bowl with some depth as you will be dunking the cookie balls into the bowl.

*Dunk the cookie balls into the melted bark.  An easy way to dunk them is to put a toothpick into the ball and dunk holding the toothpick.  Put onto wax paper to set and immediately take out the toothpick and attach a gummy candy to the top (do this while still wet so it sticks).

*Once dry, add the red veins with red food-writing gel.