Friday, August 15, 2014

August Use Your Words

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s the fun twist: no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

Use Your Words | graphic designed by and property of | #MyGraphics

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. I’m using: stage lights ~ tacos ~ teeth ~ magic ~ “I told you so!” They were submitted by Follow me home . . .

I wrote last month’s Use Your Words post with some riddles I’d made up including, of course, an obligatory “why did the chicken cross the road” one.

My friend Tamara left me a comment saying “Love me some chicken crossing the road jokes! Did you know they exist featuring other animals too?”

You know how someone can say something and it just gets into your head? Well I didn’t really want to write the same kind of post twice but once the thought of the chicken jokes with other animals got into my head I knew I was gonna have to at least start there.

So hold onto your teeth folks, here we go again:

On Stage | graphic designed by and property of | #MyGraphics

Hey, open the curtains, turn down the music, cue the stage lights. It’s show time.

Hello and welcome. I’m Karen and I’ll be your entertainment this evening. Let me just say that you are in for a whole lot of fun. My teenager, who was treated to my practicing of this routine, thinks you’re in for a whole lot of eye rolling, but what does he know? Grab a cocktail and see who you think is right, me or the dreaded teenager (it’s me).

Why did the horse cross the road?
          He thought he heard someone yell “hey”.

Why did the hyena cross the road?
          Just for a laugh.

Why did the bat cross the road?
          Hard to say, he was flying blind.

Why did the cow cross the road?
          His wife told him to moooooove.

Why did the little boy cross the road?
          His mom told him not to.

Why did the clock cross the road?
          It had a little extra time.

Why did the rock cross the road?
          It wasn’t trying to but it was on a roll.

Why did the teenager cross the road?
         Who knows, it’s not like he’ll ever tell.

What did the chef say to the chicken?
          Get out of my coat. Those aren’t the pockets I’m putting you in:

Warm Chicken Pockets | Recipe developed by | #recipe #lunch

Warm Chicken Pockets
Warm Chicken Pockets | recipe developed by | #recipe #lunch


What did the assistant say to the magician?
          Magic my a$$, how about I cut YOU in half?

What did the tutu say to the ballerina?
          Lay off the tacos or I’m gonna split.

What did the jester say to the king?
          If you’re taking me to court I demand an attorney.

What did the angry knife say to the spoon?
          Who the fork invited you?

What did the blender say to the ice?
          Come on honey, let me take you for a spin. What could it hurt?

Why wouldn’t the pretty baguette go out with the handsome cake?
          He didn’t have any dough.

What did the tornado say to the baker?
          Do you know how to make Funnel Cakes?

On Stage | graphic designed by and property of | #MyGraphics

That’s the show, friends. Fun wasn’t it?

I told you so!

{{damn teenagers}}

Links to the other Use Your Words posts:

PS: My friend Stacy Sews and Schools has been a member of all 4 of the blog challenge communities I run since the beginning. She was supposed to participate in this challenge today but she lost her father this week. My goes out to her.

Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics

Warm Chicken Pockets
Printable Recipe
NOTE: I often marinate and cook the chicken and serve it for dinner. I’ll warm up the leftover chicken cubes another night to make these Warm Chicken Pockets
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into cubes
1 cup Karen’s Poppy Dressing (recipe is here: Karen's Poppy Dressing)
2 cups spinach leaves
¾ cup fruit of your choice (preferably fresh but drained canned mandarin orange slices work too)
2 scallions, sliced
½ red pepper, chopped
¼ cup shelled, unsalted sunflower seeds
1/3 cup mayonnaise
6 - 8 Pita pocket halves
*Marinate the chicken cubes in the dressing in the fridge for 2 hours (or up to a day).
*Thread the chicken onto metal skewers (or wood skewers that have been soaked in water so they don’t burn) and cook on your grill (or in your broiler), turning a few times, until chicken is cooked through.
*Remove the chicken from the skewers into a bowl.
*Slice or chop fruit if needed and add, along with the scallions, red pepper, sunflower seeds and mayonnaise to the bowl with the chicken. Mix gently.
*Wrap each Pita pocket half in a paper towel and microwave for 15 seconds or until just warm.
*Gently open the pockets and place a handful of spinach inside. Fill the rest of the pocket with the chicken mixture. Drizzle with more Karen’s Poppy Dressing, if desired.


  1. Baaahahahaha, Karen! Brilliant :-)

    Especially loved the one with the little boy of course.

    And the silverware, hahaha.

    Great job, thanks for a laugh on this ever so rainy Friday!

    1. So glad you laughed. Going to have to admit that some of them were more than a little corny.

  2. LOL I love the jokes and great way to use the words. I do love the one about the teenager, so true.
    Pita sandwiches are a great use for leftovers as well.
    You know today is one of my favorite days in the month, our UYW post.

    1. I know how you feel, I love both writing and reading the Use Your Words posts.

  3. Very, very nice! Love the chicken in a pocket segue. The teenager one; that's universal, isn't it?
    Thanks for knocking my words out of the park. Stand up comedian mom, and a baker; you wear so many hats well :)

    1. Yeah, I'm thinking that was both the beginning and the end of my stand up career. Ask my kids . . .

  4. Definitely you! I love these jokes! They're the only ones I can remember at critical times . . .

  5. Great use of your words and I love the one about the Teenager. So true!

  6. LOL! My favorite is the chicken pocket joke!

  7. Love, love, love!

    Here's one that my husband and MIL think is hilarious: Why did the elephant cross the road? 'Cause the chicken retired.

  8. I have to read a few of these to my daughter, she is obsessed with jokes. Great post, made me giggle.

    1. I love that you shared these with your daughter. So glad you both enjoyed them.

  9. Cute jokes. The last one was perfect.

    1. Ha ha, definitely my favorite. A perfect way to end the act.

  10. Loved the show, didn't roll my eyes once - what do teenagers know? The chicken pockets look yummy too!

    1. So glad you liked the show. Maybe I'll have to plan an encore?

  11. Great job once again Karen. Thinking of you this weekend!

    1. Thank you so much for all the support, Rena, I truly do appreciate it.

  12. I loved this post - very witty use of the words! Lunch or dinner - the chicken pockets look delicious!

  13. Your chicken pockets look wonderful...the perfect summer dinner! And those are the kind of jokes I get regaled with around here! Now I have some ammunition to shoot back :)

    1. So happy to provide you with some ammunition. Let me know if you get the same eye-rolls I do!


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