In the dashboard of my blog I’m able to see how people come to find my blog, including what search parameters are put into Google that bring them to my blog.
Imagine my surprise, this month, when I found that someone had come to my blog by googling “nut grab videos”.
What were they looking for? Believe me when I say that I don’t even want to know.
But I want to go on the record, right here and now, stating categorically that there were no nuts grabbed in the creation of this blog.
We were in Hubs’ new car and it was finally warm out. I decided to open the window a crack but it was locked.
Me: You have my window child-locked.
Hubs clicks a button.
Me, trying the window again: That was the door lock.
Hubs clicks a button again.
Me, trying the window again: Nope, still the door lock.
Hubs: I don’t know where any other buttons are. If you get hot enough, wait till I stop at a red light and open the door.
Me: Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what I had in mind.
I’m sitting in the living room working online after dinner one night when I hear Hubs upstairs talking to College Boy. I can’t hear the conversation but College Boy sounds like he’s rolling his eyes (yes, I can actually tell when one of my kids is rolling his eyes just from his tone of voice).
Hubs comes downstairs putting on his glasses and I ask him what that was all about.
Hubs: I put on my glasses but they didn’t seem to be mine.
Me: OK, why?
Hubs: They just seemed different so I went up to see if maybe they were College Boy’s glasses.
Me: OK, and why was he exasperated with you?
Hubs: Turns out he doesn’t wear bifocals.
Can you all hear me rolling my eye?
The basement toilet was clogged. I asked Hubs if he wanted me to call a plumber but he wanted to try to fix it himself.
Oy. Some people are blessed with handy Hubbies. Not me.
The first day he tried something and it didn’t work. The second day he tried something else and it didn’t work. The third day he tried again.
That same day the toilet in the master bathroom got clogged (remind me to cut down on the roughage around here). Hubs tried to unclog it with the plumbing snake and . . . well . . . it got stuck in the pipe.
I called the plumber.
The plumber goes upstairs and just takes the snake out of the toilet. Okay . . . don’t feel too stupid. He unclogged the toilet and went down to the basement. One minute later he and Hubs come up and Hubs has me write a check. It was way less than I thought it would be.
I waited until the plumber left, then talked to Hubs.
Me: Why are they charging so little for unclogging 2 toilets.
Hubs: One.
Me: One? He didn’t fix the basement toilet.
Hubs: No, he just flushed it. It works.
So . . . we had a plumber come out to remove a stuck plumbing snake that wasn’t stuck and unclog a toilet that works just fine. Perfect.
The first year of having my baby at college 700 miles away is finally at an end. The last few weeks, I’m sure he was very busy with finals, but I was starting to feel neglected. I miss him so much and I really wasn’t hearing from him.
I don’t want to be a nagging mom, ‘cause that’ll just make him want to call less, but I wanted to let him know that I miss him. So one day I just sent him a text:
In case you’re ever on Jeopardy and they ask, the answer is “yes, some boys do love their moms.”
Guess whether or not I heard from him Go ahead, guess. You’ve got a 50/50 chance.
Hot and Spicy Potato Casserole
When I did video chat with him a few days later, the first thing he told me was that the frat got a dog yesterday.
Me: Who’s taking it home for the summer?
Eyes closed fingers crossed repeating over and over in my head “please don’t say you, please don’t say you . . .”
PurDude: I don’t know, I guess the guy who got the dog.
Me: Is he trained? Who’s taking him out?
PurDude: I don’t know, I guess the guy who got the dog.
Me: Just a little advice. . . until you have some answers . . . watch where you walk.
We talked about what he’s been doing. Apparently his classes are getting more difficult and he’s needing to spend more time studying. He worked 2 different charity functions, one overnight, and went to a frat party after the second one.
Me: When do you sleep?
PurDude: I haven’t really figured a way to fit that into my schedule.
Me: You need to sleep or you’ll get sick.
PurDude: No, I can’t fit that into my schedule either.
I had bought flowers for my outdoor pots and was planning on planting them the
next day. It just so happened that my “trending news” on facebook was kind
enough to tell me that the following day was “World Naked Gardening Day.” Hmmm,
coincidence? I think not.
Now I did not garden in the
nude. But I had SO much fun
torturing telling my kids that I would.
Yeah, yeah, I need to get a
life. I know.
The last few months I’ve been including my typos in this post and one thing I’m realizing is that I make a ton of them. Here’s this month’s:
A friend was talking, on FB about a project she was going to work on. Now I don’t know about you, but projects of any kind take me most of a day and often many days.
Just an hour or so later she posted in her status that she was done. Done? I was pretty impressed with how quickly she works and left her a comment on her post. Sadly, I didn’t use the word “quick” and went with “fast”. Unfortunately that’s the word that ended up being a typo.
So my response to her FB status was “Wow, you’re fat.”
I asked College Boy to write me a Guest Post. This happens often with both of my boys. They’re both intelligent and interesting. College Boy has a number of subjects that he’s really passionate about and I’m constantly trying to get him to write about one of them. The other day we had the conversation again.
Me: You should write me a Guest Post.
College Boy: No.
Me: Why not? You really care about so many topics, you argue your point well, write about something.
College Boy: I’ll write about me not writing you a Guest Post.
Me: OK. Write about that. I want to know why anyway.
College Boy goes upstairs and I am so excited. It’s not the topic I wanted but he was finally writing me something.
A few hours later I get an email from him. Yes he’s just upstairs, don’t judge.
The email had a document attachment and said that he was attaching what he had promised. The document said this:
I’m not writing you a guest post.
That was it, the whole document.
Me (via return email): You just said you’d write me something to shut me up.
College Boy (response email): No, I wrote exactly what I said I would.
Me: What if I said I wasn’t making you anything for dinner?
College Boy: I’ll have a bowl of ice cream. Anything else you want to talk about?
Me: No, I’m good.
Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:
Hot & Spicy Potato Casserole
©www.BakingInATornado.com Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
1 package Simply Potatoes Shredded Hash Browns
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup jalapeno sour cream dip
¾ cup shredded cheddar, divided
½ cup shredded pepper jack
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp pepper
1/8 tsp cayenne
1/8 tsp cumin
1 can (2.8 oz) french fried onions
paprika
Directions:
*Prepare an 8 X 11 baking dish with non-stick spray. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Mix the potatoes, soup, dip ½ cup shredded cheddar, pepper jack, salt, pepper, cayenne and cumin in a large bowl. Pour into prepared baking dish.
*Top with the reserved ¼ cup shredded cheddar, followed by the canned French fried onions. Sprinkle with paprika.
*Bake, uncovered, for 45 minutes or until hot and bubbly.
...don't you love the way guys' minds work? It's a marvel, really. And fodder for comedy. Maybe they don't think it's so funny, though... LOL
ReplyDeleteYeah, doesn't really matter as long as I do . . .
DeleteWe spend so much time teaching these kids to talk, and they just use the wealth of knowledge we impart on them to give us sass. Where's the fairness in that? I must say I don't envy you being surrounded by so many men right now, especially when they can't tell the difference between a clogged and a not clogged toilet.
ReplyDeleteAnd here it is a month later and the toilet's clogged again . . .
DeleteOMG.. I can't the glasses, the window lock button, the nut grabbing... are your eyes still in your head?????
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder!
DeleteSounds like things are back to normal in your house! Glad everyone got home safe and sound! My hubby is the same way he tries to "fix" things all the time and it ends up worse than when he started!
ReplyDeleteYes, every time Hubs tries to fix something it costs me double in the long run.
DeleteI'm guessing you got a text right back from college boy telling you he loved you! Love that you told your friend she was fat - I'm going to start telling all my friends that make me look bad when they actually get stuff done the same thing from now on :-). I suspect that if I said I was going naked gardening no one would be surprised ...
ReplyDeleteYeah, he either texted me back or ignored me. One or the other . . .
DeleteWow! Your family definitely covered the hilarity ground this month! Nuts, locks, glasses, love, sleep/sickness and even guest posts. Love it!
ReplyDeleteOne thing: Naked gardening day. In May. In Canada? Not happening. It could very easily be described as national frostbite day . . . And brings a whole new meaning to nut-grabbing. :)
HA. I may just need to see that!
DeleteI love the conversations you have with your boys. The typo--"fat"---OMG that is something I would totally do. You know how bad my typing is…well, it's even worse now, because half of the keys have worn off of my keyboard, so I'm just guessing here….
ReplyDeleteMe too, I can only read the numbers. And I like that as an excuse for why I keep making so many more typos than I ever had before.
DeleteHILARIOUS!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am the toilet master here. LOL I never let anyone call the plumber unless I have tried to fix it first! ;)
YAY for having Purdude home!! :D
That's our problem. Hubs doesn't want to call a plumber unless he tries first and that is where our problems take a turn for the worse.
DeleteI remember not having time for sleep in College. At least he's off for the summer now!
ReplyDeleteYes, and so far he's out all night and sleeping most of the day. We'll see what happens when he starts working.
DeleteRecipe looks amazing. Can't wait to try it. Glad your boys are home safe and sound. And it helps if you have a neighbor who is a retired plumber.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I gotta move my neighbor out and move a retired plumber in,
DeleteI love the fact that you hired a plumber who ended up unclogging 1 toilet. The last time Mark refused to call a plumber, he dropped the toilet onto the floor and it broke into a million pieces. When in doubt, leave it to a professional :)
ReplyDeleteSo much to catch up on...It's wonderful to know that your family is together again.
BTW, I'm stealing your Jeopardy text :)....and your typo made me choke on my coffee. <3
Wow, I thought my husband was bad, but at least he didn't break the toilet into a million pieces. I won't tell him that there's someone who actually does a worse job at the plumbing basics around the house than he does.
DeleteSo sorry about the plumber...I couldn't help it; I chuckled. And the "guest post"? You've raised a smart a**. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, actually I raised two of them!
DeleteYou know, you're giving me glimpses into my future by sharing your boys' antics. As for the plumber, sounds like what would happen at my house - and my husband IS handy. :)
ReplyDeleteThose glimpses aren't exactly a good thing. I remember when my boys were little and I'd be with people who had older kids I'd always tell them not to tell me what was coming, I was barely surviving today!
DeleteLoved the typo 'fat' -- brought back too many memories of hitting the send button too fast! And the whole toilet scene -- are you concerned about your hubby? If not, you probably should be
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, very concerned. Doesn't stop him but I'm concerned.
DeleteNut grabbing video's? LOL I love when I look at the dashboard and it gives me some crazy answers like that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can hear the boys eyes roll as well...something about their tone.
I have to admit that dashboard really keeps me laughing, especially with all the eye rolling I deal with around here.
DeleteI LOVE reading the search terms that lead people to my blog. Aren't some of them hysterical? And your hubby sounds so much like mine. Do it yourself lumber and sarcastic driver. I laughed out loud about your son's document "not writing you a guest post." Sons can be so mean and hilarious at the same time.
ReplyDeleteYes, mean and hilarious, a great description of mine, Sometimes I think I must be crazy for letting them stick around, but then the hilarious part comes out and I realize how much they make me laugh (and how much they populate my Fly on the Wall posts.
DeleteI can see this being my house in a few years. I'm happy to hear that it is not just my boys/men that don't listen well and like to jump back at times with smart responses.
ReplyDeleteI actually enjoy the smart responses, they're often kinda fun. And the boys do get their sarcasm from their mom.
Delete