I'm Thankful I Swear

It's November and you know what that means, right? The month of thankfulness is here. No need to be thankful year round, we've got a month for that.

Truth is, we are thankful year round. Most of us fully appreciate our blessings. When things are tough we look to the good days and when things are good we breathe a sigh of grateful relief.

But I do love having a time of year when we remember to express our thanks for all things large and small that make our lives fuller, happier.

In this spirit, as we begin November and I count down the days until I get my arms around PurDude, hopefully cast and crutches free but honestly any way I can get him, I've made a list I'd like to share. Some of the smaller, less frequently mentioned things I'm grateful for:

Kaopectate.

Slowest checkout clerk on the planet - how else would I know (thank you lady behind me talking on your cell phone loud enough to wake the dead) that you can get herpes if someone with a cold sore sneezes near you. This is important information, people.

chicken Feet - because if you make the mistake of going to the grocery store hungry and want to buy everything, one look at a package of chicken feet is the cure. PS: although I no longer wanted to buy everything, or even anything, I do wish I had thought ahead and brought a barf bag in my purse.

Chicken Feet (again) - for making me laugh while I gag. Apparently these were originally called "Chicken Paws" and priced accordingly. They didn't sell. New strategy: lower the price and call them "Chicken Feet". Way more appealing. Now I want them.

Allergies - 'Cause really, where's the challenge in being able to breathe?

commercials - How else would I know how to handle my prolapse, erectile dysfunction, varicose veins, dating dilemmas, vaginal dryness, body odors . . . I know people walk away during commercials but pay attention folks, there's valuable information here.

Thanksgiving Cheese Ball Appetizer

Note: No chicken feet were used in the making of this recipe  

Swears - Swearing relieves stress. I don't know why but it's true. Angry? Aggravated? Let out a good loud F**K and already I'm feeling better. My boys are old enough now, there's nothing I can say that they haven't heard. So, like taking an aspirin for a headache, I'm letting 'em rip. And I'm enjoying the f**k out of it.

Speaking of swears:

Kim Davis - You can talk to kids and talk to them and talk to them about right and wrong, about obligation and integrity and sure, some of it gets through. But show them one good example of how destructive bigotry can be and you don't need to say another word.

And speaking of relieving stress:

"The" Donald - It's a proven fact that laughter is good for you. And knowing that I can count on someone being there each and every day to say something that will make me laugh is a gift for which I'm thankful.

Got anything to add to my list?

Thanksgiving Cheese Ball Appetizer

                                                                        ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
16 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
1 TBSP dried onion flakes
1/3 cup apricot jam 
OPT: 1 TBSP orange liqueur
1/2 cup cranraisins
1 cup pumpkin seeds, shelled

fruits, vegetables and crackers for serving

OPT: red pepper slices for garnish
OPT: oval shaped crackers to fan out as the turkey feathers for presentation

Directions:
*Beat cream cheese, cheddar, onion flakes, jam and orange liqueur together until well incorporated.
*Reserve 2 cranraisins for the "eye" decorations, if you choose. Mix the rest of the cranraisins into the cheese mixture.
*If you want to make a turkey "snood", cut 2 fairly thick slices of red pepper. Shape into "snood" on a piece of plastic wrap and fill center with about 1 tsp of cheese mixture. Top with a few pumpkin seeds, carefully cover and allow to set in fridge until serving.
*Roll the rest of the cheese mixture into a ball and place in fridge for at least one hour or until serving.
*When ready to serve, roll the cheese ball in pumpkin seeds, add the reserved cranraisins for eyes, place the snood on the platter under the cheese ball and fan the crackers out behind the cheese ball to look like feathers.
*Store leftovers in fridge.