Fly on the Wall: Zombies and Spiders

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 7 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

College Boy has figured out that, when I'm angry with him about something, he can gauge my level of forgiveness by what I do at the grocery store.

He starts with items he needs and has told me he's out of:
College Boy: Did you get me more deodorant?
If I say "no" he's in so much trouble I don't care if he stinks. Not a good sign.

If I say "yes", he moves on to what he needs but forgot to tell me we're out of. If I took the time to check, saw we were out and got it, that's the next level of forgiveness:
College Boy: I forgot to tell you I'm out of water bottles, did you happen to get some.
If I say "no", I didn't bother checking before going to the store, I've started forgiving him but am not going out of my way.

If I say "yes", we're on to the final test, foods he likes and I know he likes but he was smart enough not to ask me to get:
College Boy: So . . . Mom . . . did you get any Nutter Butters by any chance?
Me: Yes, I did.
College Boy: Phew.
Me: Phew?
College Boy: I mean thanks. Yeah, that's what I meant. Thanks for the cookies, Mom.

{{walks away smiling and saying "phew" under his breath}}.

Apparently the Zombie Apocalypse has begun. How do I know? My TV is telling me. Whenever I watch a show, this is what's happening to everyone's faces. Not any other part of the show, not the scenery, not the buildings, just the faces. All of the faces.

Quick. Run. Hide your brains now.

We were weatherproofing the deck and Hubs was out there painting the spindles. I had chosen a brick color this time, preferring the reddish tinges to the brown ones we'd used in the past. I went out to see if I liked the color once it was actually being applied.

When I got back in the house, I noticed that I'd scraped my knuckle while outside. Before the blood started to drip, I ran and grabbed a bandaid.

Hubs: What are you doing?
Me: Putting a bandaid on my knuckle.
Hubs: You know that's paint, right?
Me (turning as red as the paint): Oh. Paint. Right. I was just trying to make this bandaid feel needed . . . 
Hubs: That the best you can do? 

Apparently. 

College Boy comes in and sees me throwing away the bandaid, a Donald Duck bandaid by the way.

College Boy: What are you doing?
Me: Throwing away this bandaid, I don't need it.
College Boy: What's on the bandaind.
Me: Donald Duck.
College Boy: They should make Donald Trump bandaids.
Me: Yeah? What would the marketing slogan be?
College Boy: Trump bandaids. No one heals wounds better than I. 
Me: I don't need the bandaid but now I could use some anti-nausea medicine. 

Shower (well, bathe) with a friend has taken on a whole new meaning in my house. And I refuse. 

I almost had a heart attack the other day when I looked outside my bathroom window and saw this:

That spider is no friend and there's no chance I'm showering with him in my vicinity. In fact, I cannot survive that monster staring me down every time I go into my bathroom to do anything. Someone better get rid of it or I'm never showering, bathing, or brushing my teeth again. 

And nobody wants that . . .

Snack Cake Spiders

I'm sitting in the living room by myself when I excitedly yell out "Coco Krispie"!

I didn't realize it, but College Boy had just walked in the house.

College Boy: I'm so sorry, Mom.
Me: What?
College Boy: Tourettes. It's a serious illness. Apparently you have it.
Me: I was just watching the Red Sox play the Indians. One of our former players is on the team, Coco Crisp.
College Boy: It's OK, Mom, we'll get you help.
Me (under my breath): Rotten kid.
College Boy (walking away): Calling the doctor now . . .

Watching the same game when my cell phone rings. It's Hubs. As I'm answering the Indians get a run.

Me: Oh SHIT!
Hubs: Are you OK? Are you hurt? What happened? Do you need me to come home? Call an ambulance?
Me: The Indians just got a run.
      {{silence}}
Me: Sorry, it happened just as I was answering.
      {{silence}}
Me: Are you OK? Did you have a heart attack? Should I call an ambulance?

It's no secret I ask my boys constantly to write a guest post for me. College Boy is passionate about certain subjects like the legalization of marijuana and our current political system. PurDude has had some interesting experiences living so far from home for the first time. And it's no secret they both turn me down regularly.

Me: I have a post scheduled for November 1st. That would be a perfect time for you to write a guest post about our political system or about legalizing marijuana.
College Boy: I started to write one, and it was epic. It was going to be my magnum opus. But it's gone.
Me: Yeah. Right. Gone. What exactly do you think happened?
College Boy: I think Wikileaks hacked it.

Hubs: I made reservations for dinner for your birthday.
Me: Ok, where?
Hubs: It's a surprise.
Me: Let me guess, your favorite restaurant?
Hubs (picking up the phone): Yes, I'd like to cancel a reservation.

College Boy and Hubs did take me out to dinner for my birthday. College Boy gave me a card explaining my age in dog years and suggesting I take advantage of AARP discounts.

I ordered a large cocktail, took a giant sip and sat back.

Me to College Boy: I like you better when I'm drinking.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 
 Spatulas on Parade 
Searching for Sanity 
Never Ever Give Up Hope 

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
A Little Piece of Peace 

 

Snack Cake Spiders

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients (makes 4):
1 oz candy melts or chocolate chips
2 Little Debbie Fudge Rounds
2 Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies
1 (2 pack) Little Debbie Zebra Cakes 
32 Candy Sticks
4 Tootsie Pops
12 decorative candy eyes (can substitute mini M&Ms)

Directions:
*Unwrap all candy and pastries. 
*Divide the cosmic brownies into 2 halves.
*Melt the candy melts or chocolate chips in the microwave until smooth when stirred.
*Gently push the candy sticks into the side of each zebra cake and fudge round to form legs.
*Place a small amount of melted chocolate into the center of each zebra cake and fudge round. Stick a cosmic brownie onto the top of each.
*Cut most of the stick off of each tootsie pop.
*Dip just the bottom of each decorative eye (or mini M&M) into the melted chocolate and attach 3 to one side of each tootsie pop.
*Gently push the remaining piece of the tootsie pop stick into the top of the cosmic brownie.
*Allow to set until the melted chocolate hardens.