Fly on the Wall: Cooking All the Bad Stuff?

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 9 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Hubs hands me a piece of paper with a log-in and password for our health insurance web site.
Hubs: Here's the new password. I had to change it because I forgot the old one.
Me: You know I keep all of these in a document. Why didn't you just call and ask me?
Hubs: It was easier to just change it.
Me: okkkaaayyy. Ummm, this isn't a change, this is what the password was.
Hubs: That's the new one. 
Me: It's the old one.
Hubs: Well that's what I changed it to.
Me: So you changed the password to what it was.
Hubs: I didn't know what it was.
Me: Who's on first?
Hubs: What?
Me: What's on second.
Hubs: {{silence}}.

I'm in the den and I hear College Boy in the kitchen. What the hell?

College Boy: No.
{{ silence }}
College Boy: I can't.
{{ silence }}
College Boy: It's morning, I'm eating breakfast.
{{ silence }}
College Boy: Stop it.
{{ silence }}

I look into the kitchen. No one else is there (good thing since he's only wearing a towel). He's not on a blue tooth either. Who the heck is he talking to?

College Boy: I can't.
Me: Who are you talking to?
College Boy points. On the counter is a plate of my Holiday Chocolate Mint Cookie Cups.
College Boy: They're calling to me. It's breakfast time, but they're very insistent.

In last month's Fly on the Wall I told the story of texting and how one of the phone's predictions of what my next word would be was pretty amusing.
Two of the suggestions made sense but the third, not at all. Must have been there for amusement.

I guess my phone is choosing to continue to amuse me because it happened again.

This time I was texting a friend who has been through a lot but was finally having a good day. I texted "hope the day continues to be a good" and the phone's three suggestions were "time", "day", and "pie" .

Hope the day continues to be a good pie?

Either I'm really unpredictable, or this phone sucks at suggestions.

Does keep me laughing though.

PurDude was here for just five days last month for Thanksgiving (and he's back now for winter break too, yay).

I love when he comes home but I hate when he leaves again, especially over Thanksgiving because it's such a short stay.

This conversation took place the day before he headed back to school.

Me: I don't want you to go back.
PurDude: Gotta go, Mom.
Me: Your brother doesn't want you to go back either.
College Boy: Yeah, when you go she'll stop making all our favorites and go back to cooking the bad stuff.

Sometimes you just can't win.

That same day we were discussing what time to leave for the airport the next morning.

Hubs: What time does his flight leave?
Me: 12:30 pm.
Hubs: So we should leave at 11:30. 
Me: No way, he'll be late. He has to check in, go through security, we can't get him to the airport at boarding time.
Hubs: We left a half hour before he came in to pick him up and we were on time.
Me: Is that the stupidest thing you've ever said?
Hubs: No, I've said stupider.

Zesty Avocado Queso Dip

College Boy and I were having a cocktail one afternoon. I was asking him to look at my fingernail, which has a weird groove in it. I didn't realize I was "giving him the finger" until he gave me the finger back.

Me: That's not nice.
College Boy: Well, you were giving me the finger first.
Me: I wanted you to see that my fingernail was growing weird.
College Boy: I wanted you to see that mine is not.

Smart A$$.

My Mama is mean
She looks like a bean
and she's more crazy
than Charlie Sheen.

Yeah, I don't think I'll ask College Boy to write me a poem ever again.

Let me just preface this conversation by reminding you that my kids are grown, old enough to vote. I would not have spoken to either of them like this when they were younger but at this point, all bets are off.

I'm in the kitchen getting dinner ready when College Boy walks in.

College Boy: Do you have any of the Enchiladas you made the other night left over?
Me: Sorry, they're in the freezer.
College Boy: Well, you could heat one up for me in the microwave.
Me: They are all packaged and frozen together.
College Boy: You can get one separated out with a knife.
Me: You can kiss my a$$.

That shut him up for about 5 seconds.

I was filling out some paperwork to make some changes to my life insurance. Somehow we ended up talking about how expensive funerals are.

College Boy: Won't cost nothing, I'll just bury you in the back yard.
Me: You'll probably bury me in a coffee can.
Hubs: Well, if you're cremated he could.
Me: Even if I'm not cremated, he'll just shove me in.
{{everyone laughs}}

College Boy: I'll scatter your ashes on Cape Cod, Mom. I know you love it there.
Me (smiling): Thank you, honey.
Hubs: Yeah, we'll take your ashes
Me (interrupting) What do you me "we"? You're expecting to still be around?
Hubs: Well, yeah, I hope so.
Me: You hope I go first?
{{College Boy sees where this is going and his eyes get big}}
Hubs: Ummm, ooops, did I say that?

I'm kinda thinking he did. And that he may need to get himself a taste tester before the next time I serve him a meal . . .

An hour later College Boy comes downstairs. 

College Boy: Mom, you're a great multitasker.
Me: Don't torture me now, I'm still trying to get over your father wanting me to die first.
College Boy: I'm not here to torture you, I'm trying to pay you a compliment.
Me (doubtful . . . well, I do know this kid): OK . . .
College Boy: I just came to tell you that you make doing more than one thing at once look effortless.
Me: Yeah, why do you say that.
College Boy: Well there you are . . . mean AND ugly.

Gee, how did I know that was coming?  

So . . . one wants me dead and the other wants to torture me first.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother
 Spatulas on Parade 
Searching for Sanity 
Never Ever Give Up Hope 

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
Southern Belle Charm 
 A Little Piece of Peace
Go Mama O 

Zesty Avocado Queso Dip

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:
1/2 cup Italian salad dressing
2 tsp minced garlic
1/4 tsp cumin 
2 ripe roma tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup frozen chopped onion, defrosted and drained
4 oz Queso Fresco cheese, chopped 
1/2 (4 oz can) chopped jalapenos
1 TBSP chopped fresh cilantro
2 ripe avocados
2 TBSP lime juice

Directions:
*Mix together the salad dressing, garlic and cumin in a bowl. Add the tomatoes, onion, cheese, jalapenos and cilantro. Mix well.
*Chop the avocados and sprinkle with lime juice. Gently mix with the rest of the dip. 
*Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight, carefully mixing now and then.