I had an idea for a lunch recipe and since he was home was excited to share my thoughts with him before I made it.
Me: Want to hear my latest recipe idea?
College Boy: Sure.
Me: It's a take off on, well, inspired by
College Boy (interrupting me): Tiramisu?
Me: {{blink, blink}} Huh?
College Boy: Just putting it out there . . .
So much for my lunch idea.
PurDude was about 3 weeks into his internship in Ohio. They're putting him up in a really nice, fully furnished 2 bedroom apartment. He's never lived alone before so, when he called I asked him all those mom questions.
Me: You're changing the sheets on your bed, right?
PurDude: Yes, Mom.
Me: And you're keeping the place clean?
PurDude: Yes, Mom.
Me: What are you eating for dinners?
PurDude: I'm buying frozen breaded fish filets and throwing them in the oven. Chicken dishes too.
Me: So you're not cooking at all, just reheating.
PurDude: Yup.
Me: Are you buying any fruit or vegetables?
PurDude: I've been eating a lot of bananas.
Me: Good. They're healthy. So . . . I guess you don't need me after all.
PurDude: No, not at all.
Me: Umm, son? I'm not sure that was the right answer . . .
It was a Sunday afternoon and Hubs was in the kitchen looking for some lunch.
Me: There's plenty of deli in the fridge.
I walk into the kitchen a couple of minutes later and he's finishing making a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Me: You didn't want the deli?
Hubs: I did, I made peanut butter and jelly.
Me: I didn't say jelly. I said deli. Deli. I bought you deli meat for lunches.
Hubs: Oh, I thought you said jelly.
Me: You thought I was telling you to eat jelly?
Hubs: Umm, yeah?
Me (mumbling under my breath): Whatever you do, don't get your hearing checked.
Hubs: What?
Me (speaking up a bit): Exactly.
We had bought a new grill and I was using it for the first time.
Hubs: This grill does a great job. The chicken is tender and juicy.
Me: Ahem.
Hubs: What?
Me: A smart man would say that the cook did a great job with the chicken.
Hubs: Well, we just got a new grill.
Me: AHEM! I marinated the chicken and I cooked it.
Hubs: The cook did a great job with dinner tonight. I'm sure the grill had nothing to do with it.
Me: That only took you 3 tries.
College Boy: You can "ahem" all you want, I'd rather have a steak.
Why do I even bother?
I was cut to the core recently, kicked in the gut, taken down by an offhand comment. It still hurts.
I have an art gallery in my stairway that leads down to the basement where I proudly showcase my boys' earliest artwork. Anyone who goes down to the basement can't miss it. This includes the young man from the heating and air company who came to replace some vents for our new furnace.
He walked down the stairs, looked at the artwork and said to me "do you have grandchildren"?
Grandchildren? Ouch. How old do I look? Don't answer that. Ever. Ever.
I always said that I put those pictures there out of pride. But as the boys got to be teenagers and were embarrassed every time their friends walked by them, I kept them there out of sheer evil joy. Moms don't get many opportunities to get back at their smart-mouthed teenagers, you learn to take them where you can.
And apparently you also eventually learn that karma truly is a bitch.
It had been a long day. We had storms pass through the night before and the sump pump in the basement had stopped working. Until Hubs could get it working again, we'd been on a bucket brigade.
Fortunately I'd made my SW Ranch Picnic Salad the day before, so I decided to throw burgers on the grill and call it dinner. College Boy was here and he loves burgers and anything with a bit of a kick so I knew he'd be happy with dinner.
Of course he had to say something snarky at dinner, it wouldn't be us if someone didn't. I reached over to flick his arm but couldn't reach. Pushed forward a bit and tried to swat him and still couldn't reach, and I was just too tired to move.
Me: Come here.
College Boy (pushing away and laughing): No.
Me: Just come here for one second.
College Boy: Not gonna happen.
Me: I need to tell you a secret.
College Boy (laughing): I'll pass.
Me (feigning anger): I'm your mom and I said get over here and listen to my damn secret!
College Boy: Yeah, I don't think so.
Everything was so much easier when they were little.
Fortunately I'd made my SW Ranch Picnic Salad the day before, so I decided to throw burgers on the grill and call it dinner. College Boy was here and he loves burgers and anything with a bit of a kick so I knew he'd be happy with dinner.
Of course he had to say something snarky at dinner, it wouldn't be us if someone didn't. I reached over to flick his arm but couldn't reach. Pushed forward a bit and tried to swat him and still couldn't reach, and I was just too tired to move.
Me: Come here.
College Boy (pushing away and laughing): No.
Me: Just come here for one second.
College Boy: Not gonna happen.
Me: I need to tell you a secret.
College Boy (laughing): I'll pass.
Me (feigning anger): I'm your mom and I said get over here and listen to my damn secret!
College Boy: Yeah, I don't think so.
Everything was so much easier when they were little.
SW Ranch Picnic Salad
Me: At some point this weekend we need to go online and fill out the warranty info.
Hubs: Or you can do it over the next few days.
Me: Well, it doesn't matter who does it, it just needs to be at some point this weekend.
Hubs: What I was saying was, if you have time, we don't need to wait for the weekend.
Me: Well, it's Friday now.
Hubs: It's Monday.
Me: {{blink, blink}}
Yup, it was Monday.
Hubs: How do I shut off the automatic timer on the coffee maker and just turn it on.
Me: Press "auto" to shut off the timer, then just press "on".
Hubs: Press "auto", OK.
Me: You won't remember.
Hubs: Maybe not, I'm getting old.
Me: Yes you are, sometimes I surprised when you remember the way home after work.
Hubs: Ouch.
Me: Too far?
Hubs: Press "auto", OK.
Me: You won't remember.
Hubs: Maybe not, I'm getting old.
Me: Yes you are, sometimes I surprised when you remember the way home after work.
Hubs: Ouch.
Me: Too far?
Hubs: Little bit . . .
I was writing a poem that I posted earlier this week, it was in honor of Cow Appreciation Day. Yeah, that's a thing, google it.
I wanted to mention the patty but College Boy and I both were concerned that it might seem as though I was talking about the kind of patty you eat . . . way different from the kind you step in. We googled (what would I do without google?) cow patty to see if there was a synonym I could use. I'm reading them out loud . . . cow pie . . . manure . . . cowplop . . . crap . . .
Of course College Boy stopped me there. Crap. That's the one.
Umm . . . back to cow patty. Maybe I'll just add a visual to avoid confusion? Maybe not.
It's no secret I keep trying to get College Boy to write me a guest post. He's passionate and persuasive when it comes to politics and legalizing marijuana. I keep asking, he keeps refusing, I keep trying.
What if I skip the "will you or won't you" portion of our program, assume he will and just start a conversation about topic?
Me: So . . . are you thinking of writing about politics or marijuana legalization?
College Boy: I'm thinking about writing about not writing a guest post.
Me: OK. We can go with that.
College Boy: And I intend to lead by example.
Yeah, you can bet that means what I think that means.
Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:
Menopausal Mother
Searching for Sanity
Go Mama O
Spatulas on Parade
A Little Piece of Peace
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Bookworm in the Kitchen
Menopausal Mother
Searching for Sanity
Go Mama O
Spatulas on Parade
A Little Piece of Peace
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Bookworm in the Kitchen
SW Ranch Picnic Salad
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Ingredients:
12 oz tricolor rotini
1 (2 oz) jar pimentos, drained
1 green onion, chopped
1/2 cup cooked corn kernels
1/2 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup cooked chopped bacon bits
1/3 cup ranch salad dressing
2 TBSP Italian salad dressing
1/2 tsp chopped cilantro
1/8 tsp dried red pepper flakes
1/3 cup French's crispy jalapenos, crushed
Directions:
*Cook the rotini al dente, drain and rinse 2 - 3 times with cold water. Drain well. Place in a medium sized bowl. Gently mix in the pimento, green onion, corn kernels, black beans and bacon bits.
*Whisk together the ranch dressing, Italian dressing, chopped cilantro and dried red pepper flakes. Pour over the pasta and mix well. Cover and refrigerate overnight, mixing once or twice.
*To serve, mix again and top with the crushed crispy jalapenos.
12 oz tricolor rotini
1 (2 oz) jar pimentos, drained
1 green onion, chopped
1/2 cup cooked corn kernels
1/2 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup cooked chopped bacon bits
1/3 cup ranch salad dressing
2 TBSP Italian salad dressing
1/2 tsp chopped cilantro
1/8 tsp dried red pepper flakes
1/3 cup French's crispy jalapenos, crushed
Directions:
*Cook the rotini al dente, drain and rinse 2 - 3 times with cold water. Drain well. Place in a medium sized bowl. Gently mix in the pimento, green onion, corn kernels, black beans and bacon bits.
*Whisk together the ranch dressing, Italian dressing, chopped cilantro and dried red pepper flakes. Pour over the pasta and mix well. Cover and refrigerate overnight, mixing once or twice.
*To serve, mix again and top with the crushed crispy jalapenos.
sighs that lunch made me so damn hungry, but it's only 10:30.
ReplyDeleteMan they are a bunch of rascals, they're lucky you are so sweet and patient.
Ha, those are two words that have never been used to describe me!
DeleteDo you ever use dried cranberries in your summer salads?
ReplyDeleteYes, I use them in so many hot and cold recipes, I always have a bag on hand. And I'll often throw them and sunflower seeds onto just a tossed salad too.
DeleteThe art gallery karma was great. It looks so cute! Too funny. Love "everything is easier when they were little," and sometimes I think the opposite will happen. LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm still depressed over that art gallery karma. I'm never having another workman in the house again.
Deletewonder if PurDude is really changing the sheets? Please tell College Boy that some of us are waiting (not so patiently) for his post. Salad looks great and thanks for teaching me all the words to replace cow patty.......hehehe
ReplyDeleteLOL, let me know if you ever have the occasion to use them. Well, other than "crap", I use that one pretty much daily.
DeleteSo funny about the grandparent comment ( but I think I would have wanted to slap the A/C guy). Think of it this way---whenever you do have grandkids, the reverse can also happen ( in the best of ways), when people say, "Your child is so beautiful." It's nice to be mistaken every once in awhile as the mom and not the grandma!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I can HOPE that reverse thing happpens!
DeleteSounds like you need a break from cooking and/or family. Loved the grandparent comment. Some women in their 30s are grandparents.
ReplyDeleteI know, it's not that I'm not old enough for grandchildren, it's that I didn't think I looked it.
DeleteYou know why you don't kill your husband and sons, don't you. Because they make your blog so entertaining. By the way, will you make the pasta salad for my company picnic next year? Yummmm. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYes, to both of those!
DeleteI have two words: watta week! Bwahahaha ha! Okay. Three.
ReplyDeleteYeah, they all seem to go like that. I'm going to try to hold onto what I have left of my sanity as tightly as I can.
DeleteWell this post made me laugh and for that I thank you
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome, love making people laugh.
DeleteI dread the day Miss K realises she doesn't need me anymore. I can only hope she'll let me down gentler than yours did...Lets also hope it doesn't happen the same month someone mistakes me for a grandmother. How you didn't crawl into the closest bottle of liquor I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteWho says I didn't?
DeleteI ate lunch a half hour ago and now I am hungry again!
ReplyDeleteHA. Sorry, not sorry!
Delete