I just need to ask: seriously, who raises these people?
I used to, when the boys were little, scour the news for funny news stories. If the dinner conversation lagged, or got ugly (sorry, brothers a year apart, it happened), or recipe insults came out of thosesweet young mouths, I'd bring up a story and we'd all have a few laughs. You may have been hearing about this strategy used a lot in lately, yeah, it's called deflection and we moms perfected it first. Probably all of us at the dinner table.
I used to, when the boys were little, scour the news for funny news stories. If the dinner conversation lagged, or got ugly (sorry, brothers a year apart, it happened), or recipe insults came out of those
Tangy Horseradish Steak Sauce
Let me just tell you here that as a mom, I thought I'd heard it all. I mean when it comes to thinking up and trying to convince me of the most absurd excuses imaginable, I was pretty sure I could not be surprised by an excuse ever again.
And then I read the story of a young woman, a passenger in a car that was pulled over, who was found to be in the possession of cocaine. She told the police that she doesn't know anything about cocaine, it was a windy day and the drugs flew in the car window.
Are you laughing? I did. But wait, I'm not done. Seems the cocaine not only flew into the car, but right into her purse.
It's pretty clear to me that one of two things have happened in this woman's life. Either her mama smacked her upside the head one time too many, or one time too few.
{{Side note: please do not leave me angry comments about child abuse, I'm kidding. Really.}}
But something went wrong with this young lady somewhere. I hope we can agree on that.
What I want to know is what exactly this woman thought the police were going to say to that. "Oh, that explains it, you're free to go." Or "driving in this wind is dangerous, ma'am, you should roll up your window or put on a helmet". Or maybe "well, finders keepers losers weepers, guess it's your lucky day". Or what? Really, what was she expecting to happen next?
Whatever her expectations were, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what happened next. I bet she was treated to a nice ride in a much less windy car, and then got to have her picture took. For free.
Think this is a one-off? Not hardly. More like an epidemic. Yet another story that recently caught my attention was that of a man pulled over because his car was weaving. He was suspected of being drunk. This particular genius, figuring that the cotton would soak up the alcohol in his stomach and allow him to beat the alcohol test, tried to eat his underwear. Yes, you read that right, he was caught by the police literally trying to eat his shorts.
Moral of the story: in regards to the operation, application, utilization of brain cells, choose wisely, my friends. In some circumstances there is just no "do over".
Think this is a one-off? Not hardly. More like an epidemic. Yet another story that recently caught my attention was that of a man pulled over because his car was weaving. He was suspected of being drunk. This particular genius, figuring that the cotton would soak up the alcohol in his stomach and allow him to beat the alcohol test, tried to eat his underwear. Yes, you read that right, he was caught by the police literally trying to eat his shorts.
Moral of the story: in regards to the operation, application, utilization of brain cells, choose wisely, my friends. In some circumstances there is just no "do over".
Tangy Horseradish Steak Sauce
©www.BakingInATornado.com
Printable Recipe
Ingredients:
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
2 TBSP prepared horseradish
2 TBSP red wine vinegar
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp dried chives
dash of salt and pepper
Directions:
*Whisk all ingredients together.
*Cover and refrigerate for at least an hour before serving.
*Cover leftovers and store in refrigerator.
I would rather eat your horseradish sauce than my shorts any day. Smh.WTF? Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteWell I'd certainly hope so!
DeleteI read the one about the drugs flying in the window into her purse but not the "eating the shorts" guy....oh my...times sure have changed...or have they...did people do the same stupid stuff and we just never heard about it....
ReplyDeleteWe do have much more access to news of this type now, but I'd still like to believe that my generation has not been quite this idiotic. Kidding myself? Maybe.
DeleteIn the movie, Privte Eyes', Don Knotts tells Tim Conway, "God poured in your brains with a teaspoon and someone jiggled his elbow!" Sadly, this is all too common! :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I don't think I'd heard that one before, but it sure does fit these people!
DeleteThat's hilarious! Eating his shorts is a new low for the drunk drivers. I hope they were clean at least!
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that little piece of information was missing from the story. Maybe because we'd rather not know?
DeleteI can't even, I just can't
ReplyDeleteI know, right?
DeleteOh yeah the things they say are amazing and oh so stupid and we wonder do they hear how stupid they sound
ReplyDeleteThat's actually a god idea, record them and play it back to them. Daily.
DeleteToo funny!
ReplyDeleteVery funny, and a little bit sad.
DeleteI like the tip about deflection and saving up stories to tell the kids. I am a teacher and I think that could really work with students.
ReplyDeleteYes, deflection is definitely a good strategy when dealing with kids.
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