Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Email Sucker's Tale

I recently, along with my blogging friend Dawn, published a post in which we supported marketing professionals by buying, using or downloading whatever they were promoting through TV commercials. We took the first 10 commercials we saw and bought in for a blog post called Customer of the Year. If you haven't yet, be sure to give it a read. It's pretty funny, if I do say so myself.

Today, I'm going there again. This time I'm supporting senders of unsolicited emails. After all, these people gotta eat too. At my expense of course, but still. And then there's always the possibility that whatever they're offering could benefit me, right? Never know unless you try. And that's exactly what I did. The first 10 unsolicited emails that came in, whatever they were promoting, count me in.

Email Sucker's Tale | Graphic created by and property of www.BakingInATornado.com

So here's how it went, an email sucker's tale:

Although I've been putting it off, I'm going to give in and finally inherit millions from a heretofore unknown Nigerian family member. Note to self: once I've sent the attorney my bank information and paid the fee, check out Ancestry(dot)com to find out just how many rich Nigerian family members I have out there.

I will be enlarging my dick. Well, this could get interesting.

Word must have already gotten out about that dick thing (that was fast) because I am now about to allow Tiffany to send me naked pictures of herself. Maybe I should warn her that the dick enlarging thing hasn't actually been worked out yet?

Currently filling out my registration to meet Silver Singles in my area. Bet they'll be impressed with the new size of my nonexistent dick.

I've been chosen to participate in a study where I will lose 8 lbs in 8 days. OK, I'm happy to try but personally, I think they got the wrong study. Or the wrong person. 'Cause I'm actually already aware of the fact that I'm really good at gaining 8 lbs in 8 days. Better break out those fruits and vegetables.

Only 4 ingredients go into these Simple Grilled Squash Packets. Chop, mix and grill for a simple flavorful side dish. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #vegetables

Simple Grilled Squash Packets

I am immediately clicking on this handy dandy link provided so I can straighten out the issues with my Navy Federal Credit Union back account. I don't even remember opening the account. Hope it has lots of money in it. Oh, I should give that account info to the Nigerian attorney for my fortune deposit. 

Now this is a beneficial email, apparently less stress and debt are only 30 minutes away. I can resolve my debt in 24 to 48 months. Wait, what happened to 30 minutes?

I'm going to be driving for Lyft. I'm guessing that will provide more debt relief than the last offer, but probably not in 30 minutes. Unless I'm a really, really fast driver.

This next one is a really difficult one for me. I'll be listing my home for sale via an online real estate company. Thing is, I wasn't done living in it yet. 

And finally, I'm making a donation to the National Diabedes Association. Honestly, as unsolicited emails go, I'm happy to make a donation to a good cause. Just two questions: first, how did they end up spelling the name of the disease that way in their official association name, and second, when did they move their world headquarters to Kazakhstan?

Oh, and by the way, that whole thing I said about "There's always the possibility that whatever they're offering could benefit me, right?". Turns out, not so much. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Dawn (of Spatulas on Parade and Cognitive Script) has joined me today as well. Check out what emails she's responding to in her post.

Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

Simple Grilled Squash Packets        

Printable Recipe

1 large summer squash
10 cherry tomatoes
1/4 red pepper
3 TBSP balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing

*Rinse and dry the squash. Trim the ends, then chop into bite sized pieces. Place in a bowl.
*Rinse, dry and slice the cherry tomatoes in half. Add to the bowl with the squash.
*Rinse, dry, seed and chop the red pepper. Add to the bowl with the other vegetables.
*Add the balsamic vinaigrette to the bowl and toss well. Heat your grill to medium heat.
*Lay out a large piece of heavy foil. Pour the vegetables and dressing into the center of the foil. Fold the ends of the foil in, then pull the other 2 ends together over the vegetables. Roll them together, down to the vegetables to form a sealed packet. 
*Place the packet on the grill and allow to cook for 30 minutes. Open the packet very carefully as the vegetables will be hot.


  1. We must be related I have rich Nigerian relatives too!

    1. Maybe we should be written into each others' wills. You know, if there's anything left it should be left to family!

  2. Too funny!My fav is the Diabedes solicitation! Packets on the grill are fun. I like this recipe!

    1. Hope you try this recipe, it's so simple and flavorful.

  3. If I only I could get my 78 year-old mom to stop getting suckered!

    1. The newest ones going around are the worst, the ones that say your account has been deactivated. I almost fell for one of those myself.

  4. I know better than to fall for spam emails, but last month when I got a message from 'FedEx' the day after I had actually sent something out I clicked through without checking the address it had come from. Fortunately I came to my senses and immediately closed the page, but my anti-virus software let me know they had contained a virus for me. Lesson learned.

    1. Unfortunately the better we get at recognizing these virus spams the better they get at designing them, including using actual business logos. If I have any question that the email could possibly be true I always delete the email and go to the site myself rather than clicking on the link in the email.

  5. You are a hoot! I giggled all the way through as I read.

  6. Grilling veggies is a great way to cook them. The balsamic vinegar in the dressing really makes the dish, in my opinion (he uses just the vinegar and I don't know what else for seasoning). When the Nigerian Royal Family visits you, I'm sure you'll know just how to feed them.

  7. You totally take the prize. An enlargement you say? Hmm well that could make for an interesting Maury show. You could be rich. Oh wait. You are from the inheritance. Now let’s talk about DM on instagram !!
    Thanks so much for letting me join you. Great fun.

    1. I don't get them on instagram. I actually need to spend more time there.

  8. Oh, man, this was fun!
    I read a joke where a fellow meets his friend (I'll call him Erik to save confusion) just standing in their town square. When asked what Erik was doing, he replied, "Waiting for this fellow who promised me money if I let him deposit his millions in my bank account!" Erik's friend started to tell him it was a hoax and he'd been had when a third man ran up and handed Erik a bag of money. The third man said, "You have no idea how many people I emailed!"
    So let those unsolicited emails continue!!!


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