Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Corona-BOOM

It's coming. The Corona-BOOM. You know what I'm talking about, right? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes being stuck in the house together for months . . . you get the picture.

If many of us started staying home in March, add 9 months and I'm guessing the first wave of births (first wave is, I guess, for those overachievers among us) should be in just a couple of months. After that though, look out, the world is a Midwife's oyster. Truth is, ready to start (or expand) their family or not, as the opportunity has exponentially increased, the options for prevention have decreased.


Corona-BOOM, a new generation of babies | Graphic designed by and property of www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #MyGraphics


I mean, what are you gonna do, put it on your Walmart grocery list?

lettuce, green leaf
tomatoes, roma
rice, brown
chicken, boneless, skinless, thin sliced
milk, 1 % low fat
butter, sticks, salted
orange juice, no pulp
condoms, mint, ribbed, colored 

And you know they make substitutions, right? How, exactly, does that work? And what if it doesn't? You may have to call and talk to them. I'm thinking the only thing worse than trying to order condoms with your groceries would be having to discuss the situation with the employees:

You: Hello, Walmart, can I speak with someone about my pick-up order?

Them: Hold please.

then:

Them: Hello, this is the pick-up center.
You: Yes, I'd like to talk to someone about an item in my order.
Them: Sure, let me have your order number.
You: 12398470.
Them: OK, I have your order right here. 
You: I ordered condoms.
Them: Yes, they were included in your order.
You: I ordered mint.
Them: We were out of mint, we had to substitute tropical.
You: You know there's a big difference between candy and fruit, right?
Them: {{silence}}
You: And I wanted colored.
Them: We didn't have any colored, we had to substitute glow in the dark.
You: Glow in the dark? Like landing a plane at night glow in the dark?
Them: {{silence}}
You: And I ordered ribbed.
Them: Yes, we had to substitute . . .
You (interrupting): Yeah, I saw the substitution, what exactly is a vibrating ring?
Them: Hold please, let me get you the manager.

45 minutes later:

You (to yourself): I'm not actually on hold for the manager, am I?

One week later:

Hubs: Where are the condoms?
Wife: I ordered them again this week, but they don't seem to be here. Let me look at the receipt.

then:

Wife: It says they didn't include them, it says they were all out.
Husband: They didn't make a substitution?
Wife: No, looks like they didn't.
Husband: I wonder why.
Wife: I don't know, but I was SO looking forward to that vibrating ring.

So yeah, baby boom. Courtesy of Walmart.

And these babies will not be born with a silver spoon in their mouths. More like a thermometer in their tiny little hands.

Don't be surprised, either, if we see a few unique names among these Covid babies: Elvirus, Leisol, Maskenzie, Isolatabel, Walmargaret, Coronathan, Covidette.

Lesson learned: The next time there's a deadly virus that keeps couples quarantined together for months and our husbands are looking to . . . ahem . . . amuse themselves, follow the advice of a famous French Queen, Marie Antoinette, and "let them eat cake." 

But then, as pretty as she may have been, turns out Marie's last date was with a guillotine.


Root Beer Float Poke Cake brings back memories of a favorite treat. Vanilla cake studded with root beer pudding and a vanilla root beer frosting. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #cake

Root Beer Float Poke Cake
Root Beer Float Poke Cake brings back memories of a favorite treat. Vanilla cake studded with root beer pudding and a vanilla root beer frosting. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #cake




Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics





Root Beer Float Poke Cake
                                                              ©www.BakingInATornado.com



Printable Recipe


Ingredients:
1 box vanilla cake mix
1 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
1 container (5 - 6 oz) vanilla yogurt 

1 box Root Beer Shake pudding mix
3/4 cups milk
3/4 cup root beer 1 can (12 oz) vanilla frosting

OPT: whipped cream and cherries for garnish

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X 13 pan.
*Beat the cake mix, 1 cup milk, oil, vanilla, eggs and yogurt for 2 minutes.
*Spread the batter evenly into the pan and bake for about 25 minutes, or until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely.
*Whisk the pudding mix with the remaining milk and root beer. Reserve 1/2 cup and set aside. Put the rest of the pudding mix into the fridge to set for 20 minutes.
*Poke the cake all over using the rounded bottom of a wooden spoon. Don't press in all the way to the bottom. Pour the pudding mix that had been in the refrigerator over the cake and allow to seep into the holes. 
*Whisk the remaining pudding mix into the vanilla frosting and spread over the cake. Garnish with whipped cream and cherries, if desired.
*Store, covered, in the refrigerator.


21 comments:

  1. Hahaha..Karen, this post is so very interesting and daringly hilarious. But also shows the side effects of lockdown together for so many months. I feel more old than ever with unlimited house chores as well as taking care of everything-online-learning :( But this post made my day..hehehe..The cake looks so delicious <3

    https://www.thepositivewindow.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Funny, but close to the truth. I’m glad I am out of that market, my children are out and all but two grandchildren and one great grandchild. Only one of my grandchildren is even are in a relationship. I vaguely remember the dilemma, but it is so far back, it never crossed my mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you found it funny, don't know how close to the truth it is, we may know in a few months, though.

      Delete
  3. Bwahahahahaha! Best. Post. Ever!!!
    Those names! Ohmyword!
    Definitely NOT showing this list to Husby...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so beyond happy that I can’t have anymore kids (and kinda happy that I was able to spend quarantine healing).

    Just think, in 5 years, little Corona Covid will be in Kindergarten! Lol

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  5. A co worker's daughter (no, I'm not making this up) is in labor with her first child even as I type these words! I wonder what they will name him or her (call her old fashioned, but the mother didn't want to know the sex of the child beforehand). Hopefully not Corona Covid. But seriously, think of how this child will grow up. "Stranger danger" brings a whole new meaning. I do not envy these new mothers and fathers - at all. As for the condoms - remember the days when they hid them behind the drug store counter and boys had to ask for them? Ugh. Incidentally, I have never heard of Root Beer Shake pudding mix. You can tell where I hardly ever shop! (I did find out where they sell it). I haven't made a poke cake in forever. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll have to let me know what that name turns out to be.
      I had never heard of Root Beer Shake pudding mix either, but when I saw it I knew I'd have to do something with it!

      Delete
  6. According to Anybirthday.com, the most common birthday in the US is already in October, right at nine months after New Year's Eve. Now we will have a challenge to that closer to Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, now I know why I was born in October, never bothered to think back before.

      Delete
  7. Age and vasectomy have made this much less of a concern, lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, there are those of us who won't have any worries.

      Delete
  8. Thanks for making me laugh, I needed a laugh

    ReplyDelete
  9. You hit one out of the park with this post!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That Oscar does sound like an amazing individual to learn about, thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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