Friday, November 20, 2020

Controlling and Preventing the "Z"s: Fly on the Wall


Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics


Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 3 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

I often write about my writing mishaps, in tweets, emails, texts, recipes, blog posts, pretty much anywhere. Mostly, although it didn't mitigate the embarrassment, I'd know that if it was auto correct, at least I didn't do it myself. The ones I've caught these last few months though, they were all me {{sigh}}. 

I was typing up a recipe for my Peanut Butter Pepita Muffins for my blog, and I got to the point where you mix in the dry ingredients.

What I attempted to say was:
Add the dry ingredients to the large bowl and stir.
What I actually typed into the recipe:
Ass the dry ingredients to the large bowl and stir.

No, not too embarrassing.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics


PurDude, during his first winter in Boulder, was advised, if he didn't want to rent skis a second year, to check just before ski season, as many people sell their used equipment then and he could get a great deal on good equipment.

So this Fall he did that, bought skis and bindings at a great price. His dad and I did recommend that he buy new boots, not used boots.

A few weeks later, I asked about boots and he'd bought used boots from a CU student.

Me: PurDude bought ski boots today.
Hubs: New?
Me: No, used. He's very stubborn.
Hubs: He comes by that naturally.
Me: You're not stubborn. 
Hubs: I know.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

I was sitting in the den when I noticed the "missed call" icon on my phone. That's weird, I'd been sitting right there.
I looked, and what I saw was that a call had come in, there was a transcript and a voice recording of it. Apparently, Google Assistant answered the call, asked what they were calling about, told them I can't take the call, ending with "thanks and good-bye." Google Assistant then marked the call as spam.
First of all, I was mortified. Has Google Assistant independently decided to screen my calls? It never has before and I never approved Google usurping my G-d given right to ignore my own phone calls.
Second, they provided me with a transcript of what the caller said, which they perceived to be this:
"(her name here), I'm behind on the centers of the z's control and prevention." 
I didn't even know "z"s needed to be controlled and prevented. I like a good sleep, personally. BTW, I also know there is no apostrophe after "z" in that sentence. If I'm going to have an unwanted assistant, at least get your grammar right.
Fortunately, they included the audio of what she said and yikes! Apparently, she wasn't calling to tell me she's behind on her sleep, she was actually calling on behalf of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 

Get back in your lane, Google.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

Me: Oh crap, dammit, you've got to be kidding me. No freaking way. 
Hubs: What's so wrong that it's swear worthy?
Me: Stupid Windows had an upgrade and it screwed up my Print Shop, it says I have to reinstall.
Hubs: Do you need it?
Me: That's how I make all my graphics.
Hubs (pointing to my laptop): What's that?
Me: It's the external CD thingy PurDude bought to install Print Shop on my laptop. It's a really old program, it's on disks.
Hubs: Is it installing?
Me: Yes.
Hubs: So what's the problem?
Me: Well it's telling me how much longer it'll take.
Hubs: You're not exactly known for your patience. 
Me: You are known for your patience but I bet even you'd be swearing.
Hubs: Why, how much longer does it say it'll take?
Me: 2258 minutes. How long is that?
Hubs (grabbing the calculator): 37 hours.
Me: {{blink, blink}}.
Hubs: You can recommence your swearing now.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

If you were in my house this past month, you would have seen me rolling my eyes and shaking my head at my online grocery list.
If I have an item on my list and they run out of it before I place my order, they will recommend similar items, maybe a different brand or a larger or smaller amount.

I had a bag of frozen chopped onions on my list. I use a lot of them in soups and stews and sauces. I guess they ran out so I clicked on their substitution link to see what they had that I could use. Their recommendation? Frozen collard greens. They may think that collard greens and onions are interchangeable but me? Not so much.

White Bean Soup with Shrimp is a warm hearty cold weather dinner. This soup comes together in one large pot in less than an hour. | Recipe developed by | #recipe #dinner

White Bean Soup with Shrimp
White Bean Soup with Shrimp is a warm hearty cold weather dinner. This soup comes together in one large pot in less than an hour. | Recipe developed by | #recipe #dinner

College Boy was having dinner with us and I was making Cod and Hash Brown Florentine. He doesn't like spinach and I didn't have any chopped broccoli florets to substitute. I had decided to just use half the fish in the casserole (for Hubs) and with the rest, make my Crispy Cod Fingers, which he loves and Hubs can't have. But I didn't tell him that, I thought I'd tease him first.

Me: You want spinach with your fish, right?
College Boy: Are you crazy?
Me: Excuse me? 
College Boy: There's a rumor going round that you're crazy.
Me: A rumor that you started, right?
College Boy: Well someone had to.

Jeez, that kid went from calling me old to calling me crazy. And call me crazy, but I'm thinking it's an improvement.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

I was watching TV, a true murder show, my favorite. They are showing actual footage of an interview with someone who claims to have knowledge of the murder. Hubs walks into the room just as I start laughing, which is rare when you watch this kind of show.
Hubs: What are you laughing at?
Me (pointing to the TV): See that guy in the interrogation room talking to the cops? 
Hubs: Yes.
Me: He's about to tell the cops what he knows about a murder, but he starts with some background about himself. He says he's 25 years old and he wants to change the way he's living his life. Then he says "I've been in and out of jail since I was 14. That's, like, almost 10 years, man."
Hubs (laughing): Well, I hope he does change his life, get a legitimate job.
Me: Me too. Maybe something where he doesn't have to use . . . you know . . . math.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

A fly on the wall at my house last month would have seen me scratching my head at this one. Google often recommends articles that would interest me. I'm sad to say (since it means the lack of privacy) that Google is often right. However, I think the whole system had a malfunction when it suggested I might enjoy and article titled:

AMD Navi 21 XT "Big Navi" GPU for Raedeon RX 6900 XT Graphics Card Reportedly Features Insane 2.4 GHz Clocks, 16 GB GDDR6 VRAM & 255W TGP

Read it? First I'd have to find out what language to translate it from.

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics

Me: Oh, crap.
Hubs: What's wrong?
Me: I just remembered something I needed to get done this week. I lost track of time. Damn. Is today Friday or Saturday?
Hubs: It's Tuesday.
Me: Oh. Never mind. 

Fly on the Wall, a multi-blogger writing challenge | developed and run by | #MyGraphics
I'll end this month's Fly on the Wall with another of my recipe operator errors. I had been planning to make 24 cupcakes but decided on 18 bigger ones. When I adjusted the recipe write up, I must have added the new number without deleting the former.

So a quick public service message to all of my readers:
If I'm posting a recipe for cupcakes, and it says to line 2418 cupcake cups with paper liners, do not . . . I repeat, do not . . . run out and empty the store of cupcake liners. I can assure you that I have never made 2418 cupcakes at one time, and can say with a fairly high level of confidence that I never will.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Never Ever Give Up Hope  
Go Mama O. 

Baking In A Tornado signature | | #MyGraphics

White Bean Soup with Shrimp

2 TBSP olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 cup carrot, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 TBSP flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp paprika
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup white wine (can substitute additional vegetable broth)
1 cup warm milk
2 cans (15.5) cannellini beans, drained but not rinsed
1# medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk

*Heat the olive oil in a large pot on medium heat. Add the onion, carrot, and garlic and cook, stirring until the onion softens. 
*Add the flour, salt, pepper, paprika, and cayenne pepper to the pot and whisk continuously for 2 minutes, until thick and it starts to brown.
*Whisk in the vegetable broth, and wine. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and mix in the milk and beans. 
*Simmer for 20 minutes, then add the shrimp and evaporated milk. Cook, stirring now and then, until the shrimp are cooked (pink).
*Lower the heat and add the milk.


  1. I love Fly-On-The-Wall days. So much fun! Laughed out loud at your stubborn son!
    And Google obviously needs a tune-up.
    Hmmm...I wonder if the onion-hating slice of the family would prefer collard greens? I must investigate...

    1. So many people love these Fly on the Wall posts and honestly, they're so much fun to write too.

  2. "You can commence swearing..." lol! I don't need permission! BTW - soup looks wonderful!

  3. "Ass the ingredients" and "2418 cupcake cups"... HAHAHA!!! I look forward to trying your recipe--never had bean soup wth shrimp in it. Yum!

  4. This post was insanely funny. Can't tell you how many struggles I've had with Auto Correct and the transcription feature for voicemail on my iPhone - I could use a call from the Center for Z control; I need to complain to someone about my hubby's snoring. Alana

    1. Ha, ha, if she calls again, I'll give her your message.

  5. IDK what was worse, the GA, the 2200 minutes, or the collared greens. I say, keep graphics simple, say no to collared greens and thank God for my dumb phone!

    1. Yeah, I think I need to ask for a dumb phone for the holidays this year.

  6. I love the Google Assistant story! How weird! That makes me nervous that my Google Assistant will take over.

    Fun to catch up through your blog!

  7. 37 hours -- yes, that's enough to make your thoughts verge on the profane.

    You are not stubborn, you are tenacious. Tenacious comes from a strong will, stubborn from a strong won't.

    1. I like that, tenacious sounds way better than stubborn.

  8. Google assistant scares me -- glad I don't know 'her.' And...I've assed ingredients in the past!

    1. Ha, you're just saying that about assing ingredients to make me feel better.

  9. Ah, taking over the bots. I liked how nicely you put it. I told LYFT not to text me, scams worry me and I'm on high alert.

    1. Yeah, my son actually just got a scam text that claimed to be from the CEO of the company he works for.


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