Toilets, Butts, and Diaper Rash: Fly on the Wall

 

  

 

 

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 3 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Hubs still works mostly from home. He goes into the office about 1 1/2 days a week. 

 

His being home so much has been eye opening, for both of us. Mostly him. He hears and sees things he wouldn't normally be exposed to if he were at the office full time.

 

He comes down to the kitchen, I'm standing near the counter, pulling out my shirt:

Me: I set you free.

Hubs: Should I ask?
Me: No.

Hubs: I'm gonna be brave and ask. Who are you setting free?

Me: A little piece of chocolate.

Hubs: Not enough information.

Me: I was trying a piece of the bark I made and a little bit of chocolate broke off and went down my shirt.

Hubs: OK?

Me: Rather than let it melt against my skin, I just pulled out my shirt and let it drop.

Hubs: Yup, that's what I get for asking. 

 

 

Hubs had to replace the toilet flusher so he went out to the store to buy the part. When he came back:

 

Hubs: I had two options, silver or white. I got . . .

Me (interrupting): I know what you got.

Hubs: OK, what did I get?
Me: You got the white.

Hubs: How did you know?
Me: Because I would have gotten the silver.

 

College Boy works about 3/4 of a mile away. He still hasn't been able to find a car, and it was freezing out so I'd offered to come pick him up.

Hubs comes up from the man cave with his keys.

Me: Where are you going?
Hubs: I'm going to get College Boy.

Me: Oh, I'd offered to pick him up.

Hubs: I did too, and he called me, guess he likes me better.
Me: Ummm . . . I'm going to be bundled up on the couch while your going out into the freezing cold. You want to rethink who he likes better?

 

 

I was sitting alone in the den watching a basketball game on TV and as they were coming back from commercial, they showed a city view. Front and center was a building, lit up with blue lights. It was the shape of a rocket. To each side were smaller buildings, with rounded roofs, also lit up. It looked highly suggestive.

Me (to myself, but out loud): I see a penis.

Just at that moment, Hubs had come up to the top of the stairs from the man cave. I see him quickly look down while jumping back down a step.

Me (laughing): Not you!

 

Working on my weekly grocery list, I always check the circulars to see if anything interesting is on sale, especially since a few times a year one of our local grocery stores gets in live Maine lobsters (a rarity around here).

 

 

Now I like Aldi as much as the next person, and although I fully admit there is such a thing as the power of suggestion, I've got to say, Aldi, sending me 4 circulars will not make me buy 4 times as much. Sorry.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bark

Me: Wow, that covid booster kicked my ass.

College Boy: As you always told me whenever I used that word, watch your language, Mom.

Me: Fine. That covid booster kicked my butt.

College Boy: Better.

Me: But not the but, but, my butt, butt. B-u-t-t, not b-u-t, just so we're clear.

College Boy: Smart ass.

Me: Did you say ass?

 

Speaking of that particular body part . . . 

 

I'm sitting in the den watching TV. I didn't realize Hubs had come up behind me.

 

Me: I think I have diaper rash. 

Hubs: What????

Me: Oops, did I say that out loud?

PurDude: I'm tired.

Me: Didn't you sleep through the night last night?
PurDude: No.

Me: Oh, that's too bad. When did you wake up?

PurDude: When my alarm went off.

Ha, I thought he'd woken up in the middle of the night and not been able to get back to sleep. But I guess he does have a point, having to get up for work counts as interrupted sleep.

 

 

The time came, all too soon as it always does, for PurDude to head back to Colorado. I always start a few days before he leaves, trying to convince him to stay longer.

 

This time, though, his dad started it.

Hubs: If you stay another week you can have some of my birthday cake.
Me: Who do you think is baking you a birthday cake?
Hubs: You, if he agrees to stay.

 

True!

 

Me (to PurDude): Well, you can stay for dad's birthday, and then you can even stay for mine. 

Hubs: Yours is in 10 months.

Me: So???

 

Having the dropsies is a real thing. I'm not talking about dropping something once, but about those days when you seem to drop everything.

 

Turns out, it can be healthy.

 

Hubs (coming up to the kitchen from the man cave): I heard a bang, what happened?
Me: I just dropped something.

Hubs: Did anything break?
Me: No, everything's fine.

 

A little later:

Hubs (coming up to the kitchen from the man cave): I heard a bang, what happened?

Me: I just dropped something again.

Hubs (heading back downstairs): As long as everything's alright.

Me: I seem to be having one of those days so if you come upstairs every time you hear something drop, we can go ahead and cancel that gym membership. 

 

 

 

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 

The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver

 

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bark        

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1 cup mini Reese's cups

1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

4 oz white chocolate chips

3/4 cup chocolate animal graham cracker cookies

1/2 cup honey roasted peanuts 

Directions:
*Cover a jellyroll pan with parchment paper.

*Cut the mini Reese's cups in half.

*Melt the chocolate chips until completely smooth when stirred. Spread out onto the parchment paper to an approximately 9 X 13 rectangle. Set aside.

*Melt the white chocolate chips until completely smooth when stirred. Place into a piping bag or a plastic sandwich bag with a small corner snipped.

*Drizzle about 2/3 of the melted white chocolate over the melted semi sweet chocolate, then swirl in with a toothpick.

*Immediately place the chocolate graham cracker cookies around the chocolate. Sprinkle the Reese's cups and peanuts over bark. Press all the toppings in gently.

*Refrigerate for 1 hour. Break or chop into different sized pieces to serve.