Welcome
to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret
subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret
in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging
our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom
you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject participants.
My subject is: You see someone walking ahead of you on a small path in a local park. Suddenly they stop, turn around, run straight to you and say "I know what you did."
It was submitted by: Jenniy of Climaxed.
Well, the first thing that comes to mind as you're running straight towards me is that maybe I need to rethink that whole buying a taser thing. But what also comes to mind is a question, "which thing that I did are we talking about?"
Because, like most people, I've done a thing or two. And as far as which thing exactly it is that you know, the options are endless.
OK, maybe not endless, but "copious" might be a good word.
Like, are you talking about:
~ The time I got my mother's new car stolen? If so, who cares that you know? The empty garage was a dead give-away, and the whole story already came out anyway. In court.
~ The time the fire truck came screeching up to our house thinking I'd been hit by lightening? I hadn't been, I just jumped into a cigarette when the lightening hit our house (the second time, not the first time)?
~ The time I, as an exhausted new mom, I was so busy arranging the groceries in the trunk of my car I didn't realize that the cart with my toddler in it had rolled away in the parking lot?
~ The time, while the feds were investigating me, I found our pot plant cut off at the stem and laying in the parking lot directly below my deck?
~ The time I forgot the cake in the oven and almost burned the house down? Come on, tell me you've never done that yourself . . .
Mixed Berry Chocolate Chip Cake
~ The time I went parasailing in Cancun and almost got dropped onto the roof of the hotel? Technically mom said no skydiving, and technically I wasn't sky diving . . .
~ The time I walked up to the high school with the spare key and moved PurDude's car to a different spot? Listen, that kid did take that car from me the minute he got his license (and then kept it for 8 years, btw), but it was legitimately mine. And, admit it, it was funny (well, in retrospect, it would have been a lot less funny if he'd have called the police instead of me).
~ The time I gave the finger to another parent in the pick-up line at the elementary school? He did deserve it. Truth.
~ The time I got into an argument with a state trooper?
~ The time I snuck into the men's room at the crowded bar? Have you seen the lines outside the lady's rooms?
~ The time I had my last joint stolen from me by the cops? Well, that first date was a last date.
Anyway . . .
. . . two things you need to know if you ever run towards me in a park: first, you better be wearing a mask, and second, when it comes to accusations, you need to be specific. 'Cause I've done a thing or two.
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver
Climaxed
Part-time Working Hockey Mom
A 'lil HooHaa
Mixed Berry Chocolate Chip Cake
©www.BakingInATornado.com
6 oz mixed berry yogurt
5 TBSP blackberry jam, divided
1 box yellow cake mix
1/3 cup oil
1/2 cup mixed berry juice
1/2 cup milk
4 eggs
1 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips, divided
1 tsp flour
1 container (16 oz) vanilla frosting
1 TBSP unsweetened baking cocoa
2 TBSP heavy cream, divided
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch cake pans.
*Whisk together the yogurt and 2 TBSP of the blackberry jam. Beat this mixture with the yellow cake mix, oil, juice, milk, and eggs for 2 minutes. Toss 3/4 cup of the mini chocolate chips with the flour and mix into the batter.
*Pour into the prepared pans and bake for about 25 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Allow to sit in the pans for 10 minutes.
*Run a knife around the edge of the cake pans and remove the cakes. Place one layer onto a serving plate and the other onto a piece of parchment paper. Allow to cool completely.
*Once the cakes are cool, place about 1/3 of the frosting into a bowl, whisk in the baking cocoa and 1 TBSP heavy cream. Frost the top of the bottom layer of the cake. Top with the second layer.
*Whisk together the remaining frosting, the remaining 3 TBSP blackberry jam and the remaining 1 TBSP heavy cream. Frost the top and sides of the cake. Sprinkle with the remaining mini chocolate chips.
At this point in my life, I'd have to ask that person "I don't remember; just what did I do, anyway? Refresh my memory!" Gotta admit, I've never set myself on fire with a cigarette, but I did have an experience with a men's room once. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLOL, no, I didn't set myself on fire, when the lightning hit the house I jumped, the person next to me was holding a cigarette and it burned me.
DeleteCan't you just picture the movie? Mysterious figure approaches in a scarcely-lit park. Rasps out the words, "I know what you did!"
ReplyDeleteYou stop. Frown. "Ummmm...you'll have to be more specific... cause, you know, there are a lot to choose from. For example...(begins listing...)"
Camera pans away in search of something...else...
Well, now that you mention it . . .
DeleteI mean, you may have done a thing or two but I feel like if this was me, I'd get all up in the crane position like in Karate Kid and when they get close, WHAM! And then I know "You're the best around" would start playing and I'd get the trophy... :D
ReplyDeleteLOL, you know I'm picturing that, right?
DeleteWhat a wild thing you were :-)
ReplyDelete"Were" is definitely the operative word.
DeleteHaha, my first reaction was to ask "which thing are you talking about, the first or the second thing?"
ReplyDeleteNow I'm curious to hear what happened at elementary school that prompted you to flip people off? ;-)))
Only one guy. We'd all been waiting in line, he drove up at the last minute, went up the side of the line, cut ahead of everyone right behind me, blocking the road 'cause he couldn't pull in the whole way. Then once he got his kid, wanted everyone else to immediately get out of his way, angry while I waited for my kids. I deliberately let at least 20 other cars out ahead of us once my kids got in. He sat there honking at me . . .
DeleteI hope he learned his lesson ;-)))))
DeleteDoubt it, that kind of person never does.
DeleteThis is a good read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I like the idea of this reading challenge too. Well done you!
ReplyDeleteThank you. There are 5 monthly challenges, all are welcome to join.
DeleteGracious. Being a goody-two-shoes (i followed the "bad girls" around at school, helping them with homework and studying, and got out of the way when they went off on their adventures), i would have to stop the person and ask what i've done, also, but for much more boring reasons.
ReplyDeleteWell, you certainly have an interesting life now.
DeleteI absolutely adored this post and I hope you don't mind me piggy backing off it. VEry telling about all the risks you've taken.
ReplyDeleteThat's a major point of the challenges, to get us thinking about things we may not have thought to write about.
DeleteSorry I'm late it just hit me this morning I hadn't read the SSS posts! I love these little snippets into your life. I learned so much. You my friend are a bad ass! Let's meet up drink a bottle of wine and a joint or two!
ReplyDeleteYou're on!!
DeleteOne time my grandma told me a story about how she was asking for an antenna to be out on top of the shop outside their house and something told her to go up and check on things before she let the man up. She climbed a ladder, saw all my dad's pot plants up there, and told the guy he'd have to come back another day. Your pot plant story reminded me of that. But at least in this case it wasn't the feds haha
ReplyDeleteIDK, sometimes Mom can make more trouble for you than the Feds.
Delete