Diamonds in the Pantry: Fly on the Wall

 

 Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 3 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

I think I'm at risk of banned from texting. Hubs was at work last week and texted me:

Hubs: Do you need anything at the store?
Me: No, thanks. BTW, I can't get the VPN working on my cell. Are you having a problem too?
Hubs: Yes, the server must be down, just don't use your cell for the internet right now.

Me: Well fortunately I can still sext with PurDude.

Hubs: WHAT???

Me (looking at what he was reacting to): Oh, jeez, text. TEXT. Text with PurDude.

 

 

Followed closely by this one:

I was texting with College Boy and was late getting dinner started. As we were finishing the conversation, I was trying to say "love you much." I typed and sent. Mistake. Big mistake. What did I send? "Love you douche."

 

Douche? Really? Douche? You had me say "douche" to my kid?

 

I swear I'm going to wash that cell phone's mouth out with soap. 

 

 

College Boy was standing in the kitchen when I opened the fridge to grab an ingredient for dinner. As I shut the fridge and move to the counter, I hear:

College Boy: Whoa, what is that?
Me: What?

College Boy (indignantly): What did I just see?
Me: What did you see? Where?
College Boy: With everything that's going on the Ukraine? How could you?
Me (totally confused): How could I what?

He opens the fridge and points. And there it is. Russian dressing.

 

 

Hubs is in the pantry foraging. Next thing I know, he comes out of there, gingerly holding something in the palm of his hand.

Hubs: Can you take a look at this diamond I found in the pantry?
Me: You're mining diamonds in the pantry?

Hubs: Well, I found this on the floor. 

 

 

 

Me (laughing): Oh, that's a rhinestone that fell off of something I was wearing yesterday.

Hubs: Oh, OK.

Me: But if you ever do find a way to mine diamonds in the pantry, be sure to let me know.

 

 

If you read this blog, you know that Hubs is not good at grocery shopping. When he's out, he does ask if I need him to get anything on the way home. The other day he was waiting for a repair on his car and texted me, he was next door to a grocery store and wanted to know if I needed anything. I knew that the store had the cheapest milk and eggs in town so I had him pick them up.

 

He came home and, although I'd talked him through the store, I neglected to discuss the car ride home. You know, like don't put the milk too close to the eggs, that kind of thing. When he got home, half of them were cracked.

 

The next day he went to work and texted me on the way home:

 

Hubs: Do you need me to pick anything up?

Me: No.

Hubs: Weren't you going to make a cake?
Me: I'm trying a recipe for Caramel Apple Cake Balls, why?
Hubs: You used eggs for the cake, don't you need more eggs?
Me: No, thanks.

Hubs: I can get some on the way home.

Me: Not the kind I want.

Hubs: I don't know what you mean, what kind do you want?
Me: Unscrambled.

 

Caramel Apple Cake Balls

After dinner, Hubs wanted to watch sports and I didn't. He decided to go down and watch for a while in his man-cave. Since he was going down anyway, I handed him the leftovers from dinner, which I wanted stored in the freezer in the basement.

 

I guess he went upstairs first to change his clothes. I know because later I went up to change mine, walked into the closet, and found the leftovers. Yup, just where I wanted them.

 

 

 

Needless to say, I brought the leftovers down from the closet. Instead of going down to the basement, I just stuck them in the freezer in the kitchen.

 

Now I'm not saying it's all bad that Hubs is semi(Covid induced)retired. For the most part, he's in the office working or down in the man cave watching sports. But sometimes he's around too much, gets on my nerves, and I just need a little alone time.

 

The other day, he was in and out of the kitchen, wanted to know this or for me to do that. 

 

Hubs (walking into the kitchen for the 6th time): Can you . . .

Me (interrupting): Before you ask, can you do me a favor?
Hubs: Sure, what do you need?
Me: Remember those leftovers I had you take downstairs the other night?
Hubs: Yeah.

Me: Could you go down to the freezer and bring them upstairs?
Hubs (heading down the stairs): Sure.

 

That should keep him busy for a while. 

 

 

Baseball opening day was a few weeks ago, and if you know anything about me, you know I'm a die-hard Red Sox fan. Something, I'm proud to say, my kids, born in the Midwest, got from me.

 

I was texting with PurDude the day before the first Red Sox game of the season. We were both looking forward to it, especially since they were playing against our arch rivals, the Yankees.

 

PurDude: How are you today, ma?
Me: I'm fine. It's cold and windy but I'm working on a new recipe in the kitchen. How are you?

PurDude: I'm pretty upset about the Sox game tomorrow being postponed.

Me: WHAT? It's opening day. What happened?
PurDude: It's going to rain in New York in April. I'm sure the schedulers couldn't have seen that coming.

So, he got his love for the Red Sox AND his sarcastic sense of humor from his mom. I couldn't be more proud.

 

 

Excited about PurDude's newfound sarcasm, I decided to share the story at dinner.

Me: I was talking with PurDude today, and he sounded just like me!

Hubs: Oh no! What do you mean?

Me: Oh no??? What do YOU mean?

Me: I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out what the hell you did with my sponge.

Hubs: I used it this afternoon, but I put it back. Do you need me to help you look?
Me: No, I found it.

Hubs: Where?
Me: In the fridge.

Hubs: I didn't put it there.

Me: No, I did.

Hubs: This is going to end up being my fault anyway, isn't it?
Me: Working on it.

 

 

 

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 

The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver

 

Caramel Apple Cake Balls

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients: 

3/4 cup caramel baking bits, divided

1 box (15.25 oz) yellow cake mix

1 tsp apple pie spice

3 eggs

1 cup milk

1/2 cup oil

1 large apple, cored, peeled, and finely chopped

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 TBSP caramel topping

 

6 - 7 oz vanilla bark or candy melts

Directions:
*Crush the caramel baking bits in a food processor or clean coffee grinder. Set aside.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 X13 baking pan.

*Beat the cake mix, apple pie spice, eggs, milk, and oil for 2 minutes. Pour evenly into the prepared pan and bake for about 24 minutes, until the center springs back to the touch. Cool Completely.

*Spray a saute pan with non-stick spray. Heat to medium, add the chopped apples and cook, stirring, until they are soft. Add the cinnamon and caramel topping, mix well. Remove from heat and cool.

*In a large bowl, break up the cake and mix with apple mixture and 1/2 cup of the crushed caramel baking bits. With your hands, form into 36 balls, about an inch in diameter. Place in the freezer, in a single layer, on a baking sheet or tin foil. Allow to harden for at least 4 hours.

*Melt the candy melts or vanilla bark, according to package directions. 

*Dip each cake ball (I like to put the melted bark in a shallow coffee mug and place the cake balls on a fork for dipping), allow the excess to drip off, then move to a piece of parchment paper. Immediately sprinkle with a pinch of the remaining crushed caramel bits, and repeat with the remaining cake balls. Allow to set completely before moving. 

*Store in the refrigerator. Bring to room temperature to serve.