Peanuts and Clown Pants: Fly on the Wall

  

Welcome to our monthly Fly on the Wall, a blog post written in snippets. Marcia, Diane, and I invite you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes, at our writing desks, and in our worlds. Come on in, buzz around, see what we've been up to. Bet you laugh! 

I love the woman who cleans my house. But we do sometimes have a communication issue. I try to text her in Spanish, but it takes some effort for me to try to figure out how to say what I want to say within the boundaries of the Spanish words I know.

I've used a translate app before, but that takes time too. So if I'm in a rush, I'll just text her in English. Which sometimes works . . .

Me: Hi, G, hope you are well. I haven't heard from you, do you know when you'll be cleaning my house next?

G: Thank you, Karen! Feel free to write to her later.

. . . and sometimes, not so much.

Hubs had been on the phone with College Boy in the afternoon. Later, as I went to start dinner:

Me: Will College Boy be here for dinner?
Hubs: I don't know.

Me: You asked him when you were talking to him earlier, I heard you.

Hubs: I don't think so.

Me: Listen, either you're getting senile or I'm hallucinating.

Hubs: I think you're hallucinating.

Me: I think you're getting senile.

Could be we're both right. Yeah, getting old is a lot of fun.

Hubs walks up when I'm taking a picture.

Hubs: What are you doing?
Me: I'm taking a picture.

Hubs: Of your peanuts? You usually only take pictures of food you cook, why the peanuts?
Me: These are not just any peanuts, that one in the middle is symbolic.

Hubs: Symbolic? A peanut? Symbolic of what?

Me: That there's one in every crowd.

I was watching a commercial for a medication. They're quickly listing off the possible side effects. Then they get to a bacterial infection between the anus and the genitals.

And I have to wonder, at what point do you think you'd be better off just having the disease?

PurDude called. I was up in the kitchen and talked to him for a while. Hubs was down in the man cave, so when I finished talking, I brought my phone down to him.

He comes back upstairs as he's wrapping up the call, says "good-bye," and hands me my cell. As I go to close it . . .

Me: What did you do to my phone?
Hubs: Nothing, I talked on it then handed it back to you.

So, I look at my phone. Facebook is open, my settings are open, some emergency thing I've never seen before is open, my bluetooth has been turned on, and my wifi connection has been turned off.

Ugh, that man . . .

Crispy Pan Fried Flounder

Hubs has a habit of creating piles of stuff, paperwork for the most part. He rarely even looks what's at the bottom, just keeps building the pile until he decides to start a second one. I'm constantly having to make him go through them and get rid of what he doesn't need. Which is about 90% of what he's got piled up.

One afternoon, it was clear he was starting a second pile on the coffee table in the man cave, so I told him he better not dare do another thing until he got rid of whatever he didn't need.

Later, I had gone down the stairs and nothing had changed.

Me: I can see your junk.

When, from the top of the stairs I hear my son, who I hadn't realized had come in the house:

College Boy: Um, maybe this is a bad time.

Me (running up the stairs): No, not that junk!

Did my kid just hear me tell my Husband I could see his junk? Well, yes, yes I did.

 

In the spirit of taking the bad with the good, I had some comments on my last blog post:

Comment: Too good, all of it. Thank you for sharing your world with us.

and another:

Comment: I enjoyed your Fly on the Wall, several chuckles . . .

and one more:

Comment: It's just so fun to explore your world for a while every month. Thank you.

I love knowing that my post is entertaining, knowing I can bring a chuckle to someone's day is so satisfying. But no time to relish in a job well done, when the next comment showed up:

Comment: What a long post, I read most of it before my mind going numb and my eyes just looking at the screen taking nothing in. Anyway . . .

Yeah, what was I just saying about there being one in every crowd? I'm just hoping there's only one.

Each Monday we watch for the college basketball rankings to be posted with the hopes of a good spot in the top 25 for Purdue. They'd had some pretty amazing seasons, frequently falling into the #1 spot, but this year they'd lost some key players. They stayed in the top 25, but not at the top. In the past few weeks, they'd been climbing.

So on this particular Monday, we anxiously checked out the new ranking. We were both pleased and perplexed.

It seems they were reporting Purdue rising 2 spots from #11 to # 10.

ESPN may be a great resource for sports lovers. But clearly can't be counted on for any basic math.

In the vein of "he who smelt it, dealt it," and "silent but deadly," I was unfortunate enough to have been taught a new saying recently: 

Colon music.

Ever heard it referred to as that? Now you have. No need to thank me.

I love living in the age of the internet. It's so satisfying to have answers to many of my questions right at my fingertips. No checking encyclopedias or waiting for the library to open, just type in your question and voila.

Well, mostly.

We'd been watching a basketball rivalry. Purdue was playing Indiana University. The players on the court were wearing their uniform shorts, but many players not going into the game had on their warmup gear.

And I had questions. Ones I don't think Google (or an encyclopedia, even) could answer.

Like who the hell decided it was a good idea to dress the basketball team in clown pants?

 

Now click on the links below and see what my friends have to share:

Menopausal Mother 

On the Border

Crispy Pan Fried Flounder

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

3/4# flounder fillets

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup flour

2 TBSP corn starch

3/4 tsp salt

1/4 pepper

1/2 tsp paprika

3 TBSP butter

2 TBSP oil

OPT: lemon slices or tartar sauce for serving 

Directions:

*Cut each of the flounder fillets into thirds.

*Place milk in a bowl. Mix together flour, corn starch, salt, pepper, and paprika on a plate.

*Dip each piece of fish, individually, into the milk, then coat all sides with the flour mixture, and move to a plate covered with wax paper. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

*In a large skillet, over medium heat, heat the butter and oil until hot and bubbly.

*Add the fish to the pan. Cook for about 2 minutes, until the bottoms are brown. If they start to get too dark, lower the heat just a little.

*Flip the fish pieces over and pan fry for just another minute or 2, until the other side browns. Pierce with a fork to be sure the fish is cooked through and flaky.

*Remove from pan to paper towels to drain.

*OPT: serve with lemon slices or tartar sauce.

Fans Rule: Use Your Words

 

 Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. All of the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s  participating knows who got their words and in what direction the recipient will take them. Until now.

 

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I'm using:  overtime ~ interference ~ audience ~ water bottle ~ challenge ~ unsportsmanlike
They were submitted by Tamara of Part-time Working Hockey Mom.

 

  It's funny how sometimes the prompts sent in seem random, and other times they are a clear reflection of the person who chose them. Sarah often amuses me with the words she submits, they're a clear view of either what she's doing at that moment, or how she's feeling. 

 

Today I'm looking in the mirror and seeing Tamara. As both a hockey mom and a hockey fan, there's no question what was on her mind when she chose these words.

 

Although they perfectly lend themselves to a hockey post, and although I'm a hockey fan (OK, not hockey in general, but the Boston Bruins in particular), I set out to write about something else, for a few reasons. First, it would be more of a challenge. Second, hockey reminds me of my brother Peter, who loved to play, and just thinking about the fact that he's been gone for 31 years, is a jolt to my system. 

 

Anyway, I failed. 

 

Hockey is stuck in my head, so I'll tell you a story about a hockey game I attended not long after moving to the Midwest, and why I'm afraid to go to another. 

 

First, let me explain that I'm sports starved here. I'm 1500 miles away from my home teams, but more than that, there are no professional sports teams here at all. None. Everyone goes crazy over college sports here, but it's just not the same as the pros, so I never go to a game. Once a year or so my boys (Hubs included) may go to a game, but I stay home, watch the Red Sox (thanks to an early and unusual Mother's Day present), and play in the kitchen.

 

 

Scampi Rice

But years ago, a neighbor had season tickets to all of the local university's hockey games. And one night in particular, she gifted those tickets to Hubs and I. The local team was playing my alma mater, UMass. I was pretty excited (I said I was sports starved, right?).

Hubs and I found our seats in the audience, and settled in with our snacks and water bottles. OK, maybe not water, but . . . whatever. Just when we got comfortable, it came to our attention, loudly and clearly, that we were in the domain of cheerleader Suzy. 

 

Just before the game started, she gave everyone in our section our mandate, exactly what her expectations of us entailed. We received instructions on when to jump up, when to scream, what to yell, how to jeer the opposing team, you get the picture.

 

Screw that. I'm a Umie!

 

And I didn't come to a hockey game to be choreographed.

 

 

 

So . . .

 

The game started and I didn't do the hokey pokey and turn myself around as instructed whenever the home team got the puck. To add to my transgressions, I actually cheered when UMass scored a goal.

That did not go over well with Cheerleader Suzy. Not one little bit. This was not going to happen, not in her section, not on her watch. In fact, I was getting the evil eye from not only her, but many of my section-mates. Very unsportsmanlike. Which I could live with, it was hockey after all, and hockey can get rowdy. Contentious even. But where's a ref when you need one? This is blatant interference (with my enjoyment), someone needs to put Suzy in the penalty box. Or maybe put me there, it might be safer. Because things weren't looking so good for me, and ultimately I did want to . . . you know . . . leave with all the teeth I came in with.

 

Towards the end, when it was clear that there would be no overtime, I started to plan my exit strategy. I'm 5 feet tall and Hubs is 6'2", so he was charged with creating an invisibility shield (aka running interference). If I could sneak out behind him, I just might avoid an expensive visit to the dentist.

And my future strategy? Well, to never come back. Unless I was put in charge of the section's wardrobe. There'd be a helmet and padding for me. And a mouth guard for Suzy.

 

Here are links to all the other Use Your Words posts:

On the Border 

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver 

Climaxed

Part-time Working Hockey Mom

What TF Sarah 

Scampi Rice

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

4 TBSP butter

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/3 cup chicken broth

1/3 cup white wine

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 tsp dried parsley

1 2/3 cup instant rice 

1 tsp lemon juice

Directions:
*In a medium sized pot, melt butter over medium heat. Add the garlic, cook and stir for about 3 minutes.

*Add the chicken broth, white wine, salt, pepper, and parsley. Bring to a boil.

*Stir in the rice, cover, and remove from the heat. After 10 minutes, remove the cover, drizzle with the lemon juice, and stir.

Democrats, Republicans and Athletes

It started with a post I put up on my Facebook page. I said:

"All of these athletes, the ones who clap for their teammates despite their own disappointments, the ones who've finished the race but stand at the finish line to welcome those who came in last, the ones who hug athletes from other countries when they win, and also when they lose, the ones who understand that the Olympic village is a microcosm of our planet, the ones who give positive interviews in their most disappointed moments. These athletes who, on the world stage and under extraordinary pressure remember their manners and their sportsmanship, show kindness and compassion and hope, my wish is that they all go back to their countries and run for office.

I'm sad to say that it seems this generation has set a course to destroy morals and values and even the planet. 

But these athletes, these athletes give me hope. ❤"

From what I've witnessed over the years but has truly come to the forefront in this past year is that we need another political party in this country. Yes, I know there's the Independent party, the Green party, sadly all they have done is split one of the parties we already have, they're not a viable alternative. Bernie Sanders knew that, it's why he ran as a democrat.

I believe that both major parties in the United States are broken. Not just fractured, truly broken. Way more people hold their nose and vote for candidates from one of our two viable party options than truly support them.  

You know I believe that foods can provide comfort, leave us feeling satisfied. Exercising our right to vote should do the same, provide comfort, give us a sense of satisfaction. Not so. Not for most of us. Not with the party options currently on the table.

Crockpot French Onion Beef with Broccoli

In these recent days of watching the Olympics, both for the joy of a global representation in sports, but to take an emotional break from politics, I have come to a realization. What I want in a politician is what I see in these athletes. 

I know that any party, any candidate needs to (well, should) have a platform, a well thought out stance on a multitude of issues both domestically and internationally. And you know what, I'm not going to tell you that what specific positions these athletes might have is all that matters. There have been administrations, many in fact, whose politics did not gel with mine. And although I did not support their agenda, I trusted that it was one adopted after thought, research and discussion. It was one born of a vision for cementing our place in the world, nurturing our relationships with other countries and moving us all forward socially and economically. Not all athletes will have the same vision for our (or their) countries. and that's OK. It's not about wanting only candidates who reflect my views, it's about those who offer whatever their varied viewpoints may be with thought and compassion and respect.

  Because I've witnessed that what athletes do have is an ability to follow rules, to get along, to be respectful both to and in other countries, to lose with grace, to win with grace, to fight for their own dreams but live good sportsmanship by support others on their team or just in their sport, to not give up, to get along with others, to be mindful that they are representing and to do so with positivity and pride, to comport themselves on the world stage with dignity. 

I have learned, over this past difficult year, that character does matter. It matters in sports, it matters in life and it matters in politics. No matter what your politics may be.

Crockpot French Onion Beef with Broccoli        
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

1/2 cup frozen chopped onions

2 cloves garlic, minced

8 oz mushrooms, slices

1 can condensed French Onion soup

1/4 cup ketchup

1/4 cup white wine

1 cup water

2# stir fry beef, cut into bite sized pieces

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 TBSP cornstarch

1 1/2 cups broccoli florets

2 cups brown rice

1/4 cup pignolis

Directions:

*Place the chopped onion, garlic, mushrooms, soup, ketchup, white wine and water into the crockpot on low heat. Cook for one hour. Stir.

*Season the stir fry beef with salt and pepper. Place into a sealable bag. Sprinkle in the cornstarch, seal the bag and manipulate until all of the beef is coated. Stir into the crockpot. Cook on low for 4 hours.

*Add the broccoli florets and cook one more hour.

*Cook the rice according to package directions. Serve the beef over the rice, sprinkle with pignolis.

Go-Go Boots, Mad Ants and Nuts

I admit it. When it's cold and windy and snowy and icy out, I give in to my couch potato inclination more often than I'd like to admit. I don't think I've watched daytime TV since college. One thing I've realized recently is that I haven't been missing much.

But lately Hubs has been taking my car to work more often as the SUV is better on the ice and snow, so I've been staying home. I'm someone who doesn't mind being home, I can always find something to keep me busy. I love to read and always have a large selection of books on my Kindle. I enjoy doing Sudoku as well. Lately I've solved fewer of the advanced puzzles, but I keep trying.

I don't have to tell you that I keep this blog going, researching or just freestyle writing at least twice a week. I develop, create and photograph my own recipes, keeping my brain active and my family supplied with sweets.

Apricot Bars

As I said, I've also got the TV on more often. Mostly I'm looking for sports, as there's little on during the day that interests me. I'm not a sports fan, per se, but I will always watch a Boston Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics or Bruins game, as well as Purdue football or basketball. This time of year it's mostly basketball I'm watching and it's pretty exciting as Purdue football not only beat their nemesis this year, but also went to and won a bowl game. Even more exciting, Purdue basketball made it into the national top 10 ranking.

Which takes us to today. I was looking through the channel selections hoping there was a basketball game on I could watch and there was, the Celtics. Score! But before I found the Celtics game I found a few others. And although searching for sports on TV is generally not a humorous endeavor, I found myself literally laughing out loud. 

I know that teams are named mostly for one of two reasons, to denote strength or to pay tribute to their home city or state. Some names are better than others. I love my Boston teams but Red Sox? Really? Not exactly a name to bring fear to the hearts of their opponents. Not exactly representative of Boston either. But what I found when I searched through that TV guide is that there are minor league teams with names that are just . . . well . . . bizarre. The game that had me laughing was basketball. The Fort Wayne Mad Ants were playing. Mad Ants? Really? I'm quaking in my boots. OK, maybe not.

But it did get me thinking and I did some research on other professional sports teams' affiliates. From the "what were they thinking with that name files, I bring you:

Basketball:
*The Washington Wizards are soon to have an affiliate team, the Capitol City Go-Gos. Unless they wear boots instead of sneakers, this one's lost on me.

*I understand the correlation between the Charlotte Hornets and the Greensboro Swarm, but can you imagine the sportscasters when the Swarm play the Mad Ants?

Baseball:
*Tampa Bay Rays' Double A team is the Montgomery Biscuits.  I can see fearing the biscuits if you're gluten free but otherwise? Not so much.

*Cleveland Indians' Double A team is the Akron RubberDucks. Not to be outdone in the state of Ohio, the Cincinnati Reds have the Pensacola Blue Wahoos.

* The Detroit Tigers' Triple A team is the Toledo Mud Hens.

* The Colorado Rockies have the Albuquerque Isotopes. Let me guess, Sheldon won the right to name this team in a raffle?

*An affiliate of the Seattle Mariners is the Modesto Nuts.

*Philadelphia Phillies' Triple A team is the Lehigh Valley IronPigs. Wonder if they serve bacon on their burgers at their home stadium, Coca-Cola Park (yes, that really is the name of their arena).

*Colorado Rockies' Class A team is the Ashville Tourists. Oooh, tourists . . . now I'm really scared .  .

*The San Diego Padres have the El Paso Chihuahuas. Wonder if they bare their teeth and nip at your ankles.

*Winner of the trifecta though is the Miami Marlins with their affiliations the New Orleans Baby Cakes, the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, the Greensville Grasshoppers and the Batavia Muckdogs.

Who names these teams? 

Apricot Bars         
                                    ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1/2 stick margarine, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp orange zest
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup chopped dried apricots
1/2 cup sliced almonds 
1/4 cup cinnamon baking chips
3/4 cup white chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 pan with non-stick spray.
*Beat the butter, margarine, sugar, brown sugar and egg until smooth. Mix until barely incorporated, then beat in the orange zest, salt and flour. Press into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake 15 minutes. Remove from oven, leave oven on.
*Sprinkle the dried apricots over the crust, then the almonds, then cinnamon baking chips, then white chocolate chips. Pour the sweetened condensed milk evenly over the top.
*Bake for 30 - 35 minutes, until the top is browned and bubbly. Remove from oven. Run a knife around the edges of the pan, then allow to cool completely before cutting and removing from pan.

Show Me The Money

March Madness is over. To me this means that the men-folk have emerged from the man-cave in the basement, squinted at the spring daylight and finally stopped eating every snack that wasn’t nailed down (who nails down snacks, anyways?).

And although the bracket bust is over for them, it’s just starting for me. You see, word trickled down the mountain that The Oracle is a betting man and was putting his money where his mouth is. Warren Buffett apparently had been willing to give a bajillion bucks to whoever could put together a perfect bracket. That’s a challenge many people took . . . and failed.

Now I’ve got a challenge for Warren. I’m not a college basketball fan, but I want a fair try at that bajillion bucks. So, Oracle, how about a bracket for us moms? Because I don’t know if you heard, but social media is a powerful thing and that whole discrimination thing I’m about to start a twitter campaign about is surely going to hurt your reputation.

Rest assured, just like the basketball bracket, you probably have nothing to worry about. Personal history shows that brackets are definitely not my thing. I’m not exactly known for my construction skills. In fact, when the kids were little and we bought something that had to be put together, it would take the hubs and I locked in a room full of strange looking parts and directions written in hieroglyphics at least 3 days to put together a wobbly whatever. There would be at least 2 pieces permanently glued on backwards and at least 12 leftover parts that we’d chock up to having been put into the box by mistake.

So although not really equipped for putting together brackets, if that’s what it takes to win a bajillion bucks for my family, that’s what I’ll do. Call me a team player.

Winning!

Right?

Jolt of Java Chocolate Cake

Jolt of Java Chocolate Cake                     

 ©www.BakingInATornado.com

 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients, Cake:
1 stick butter, softened
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
3/4 cup baking cocoa plus more for flouring pans
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 ½ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 cup coffee, cooled to room temperature
 
Ingredients, Filling:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 TBSP coffee, cooled
½ cup powdered sugar
1 tsp instant coffee powder
¼ cup heavy cream
 
Ingredients, Frosting:
1 1/2 stick butter, softened
1 1/2 cup semi sweet or dark chocolate chips
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
4 1/2 cups powdered sugar
½ -3/4 cup heavy cream
 
Directions, Cake:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 3 9-inch round cake pans, then “flour” them with baking cocoa.
*Beat the softened butter with the sugar until smooth.
*Beat in the eggs and vanilla.
*Mix in the flour, baking cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt just until incorporated.
*Beat in the coffee.
*Put 1/3 of the mix into each of the baking pans.
*Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until the center springs back to the touch. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove and cool completely.
 
Directions, Filling:
*Beat cream cheese and prepared coffee until smooth. Carefully beat in the powdered sugar and instant coffee.
*In a separate bowl, beat heavy cream until stiff peaks form.
*Fold heavy cream into the cream cheese mixture.
*Spread half of this mixture evenly over the top of the bottom layer and the top of the middle layer of the cooled cake.
 
Directions, Frosting:
*Melt butter and chocolate chips in microwave until smooth, mix in the vanilla.
*Carefully mix in the powdered sugar. You don’t need it to be completely incorporated, just enough so it won’t fly out when you beat the mixture.
*Beat in the heavy cream. You can adjust the consistency with more cream if too thick or more powdered sugar if too thin.
*Spread over the top and sides of the cake.