Stop Dancing

 

Dancing pubic hair. 

 

Final answer.

 

OK, so dancing and singing too. And it turns out (I only know because I googled it), the singing is actually being done by a well known (although not by me) rapper, Princess Nokia. Actually, I'm not really sure if there is truly a Princess Nokia (isn't that a cell phone or something?), or google's just punking me. 

Let me start back at the beginning. 

 

I told you that PurDude bought me a full season subscription to all the Red Sox games to stream via the MLB app. And I love it. Despite the fact that the Red Sox kinda suck this year. And no matter how loud I yell at the TV, their manager does not listen to my sage advice.

But I ❤ the Red Sox. It's even the name of my 15th blog post, from way back in the day. So I watch the games, every one.

The downside of the MLB app is that, between innings it shows commercials. The same ones. Over and over and over again. For 4 hours. 

 

I've talked about commercials before on this blog, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Right now I'm a bit confused by the Wendy's ad. Apparently they've changed their fries to make them hot and crispy. I don't eat fast food too often, and the nearest Wendy's isn't close by, so someone's going to have to let me know, what were their fries before? Cold and mushy?

Then there's my current favorite commercial, the one that I laugh at. Every. Single. Time. It's a cryptocurrency commercial featuring Larry David taking on different roles at different times in history. In the end, he's with the founding fathers, discussing the constitution and giving the right to vote to all citizens. David's response: "even the stupid ones?"

I'm laughing just typing it. And I can't help wondering, given what's going on in our country today, if maybe the founding fathers should have rethought that whole "giving the right to vote to the stupid ones" thing.

But the commercial I can't escape right now, is one that MLB has been showing me over and over again (and it's being featured on social media too, I hear). I try to find something to do in the kitchen when it comes on but, honestly, how many times a night can you make dinner? 

 

Artichoke Rice

 

 

The commercial is for Venus pubic hair razors. It's a song about pubic hair, sung pubic hair, and danced to by . . . wait for it . . . pubic hair.

 

Full disclosure, I had a few different reactions to this commercial. First time? I thought I was hallucinating. Second time, it actually had a bit of an amusing quality, made me laugh. Once. Third time in 10 minutes, not so much. Two hundred and eighty fifth time, I'm over it. 

 

Stop dancing! Please.

But more than that, I have questions.

First of all, I don't mean to be sexist. I am, after all, a woman who watches a lot of sports, but I just have to ask . . . who is it that told Venus that MLB fans are their target audience? Or are they trying to send a subliminal message to men to put this item in their "gift for the significant other" file? 'Cause I gotta say, that probably won't go over well.

I also can't help being grateful that this commercial has come up at this time. Can you imagine if we were watching these games with friends or neighbors when our kids were young and this came on? I can just hear the questions now:

"Mom, what are pubes?"

"Do yours sing and dance?"

"Won't that razor thing hurt them?"

"Will they cry?"

 

"What happens if you want them back?"

 

Here's a question I can easily answer. And no, it's not if the pubes formed a baseball team, do I think they could beat the Red Sox. It's what is the one commercial I can live the rest of my Red Sox loving life never seeing again?

Dancing pubic hair.

 

Final answer.

Artichoke Rice        

                                                                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 cups instant rice

1 can (about 13 oz) artichoke hearts

3/4 cup seasoned croutons

1 can (10.5 oz) cream of celery soup

1/2 cup sour cream

1/2 cup half and half

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/3 cup sliced almonds

1/2 cup shredded pepper jack

1/2 cup shredded provolone

1/4 cup grated parmesan

Directions:
*Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 1 1/2 quart casserole dish.

*Cook the rice according to package directions. Set aside.

*Drain the artichoke hearts, pat dry, and coarsely chop. Set aside.

*Crush the croutons. Set aside.

*In a bowl, whisk together the soup, sour cream, half and half, salt, and pepper. Gently mix in the rice, artichoke, almonds, cheeses, and 1/4 cup of the crushed croutons. Pour evenly into the casserole dish. Sprinkle with the remaining crushed croutons. Cover.

*Bake for 45 minutes. Uncover and bake for another 10 minutes.

Take 1- May Secret Subject Swap

Welcome to Take One of May’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado
Chewylicious
Just A Little Nutty
Follow me home . . .
Stacy Sews and Schools
A Working Mom's "Whoas"
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
Menopausal Mother
Dates 2 Diapers
Akashic Aisles: The Basement View
They Call Me Mummy
Evil Joy Speaks

My subject is: You just saved someone’s life! You are a hero! Tell us all about it. It was submitted by: Follow me home . . .

Before you read my post, I just want to say how much I love Shellybean. She was the very first blogger to befriend me and has read every word I’ve written ever since. I’m afraid that after she reads how I completely mangled her wonderful prompt she’ll never speak to me again, so I just wanted to go on the record.

Stop the life you save may be your own. . . (Jackson Five)
Oh wait, that’s not “life” that’s “love”. Nevermind.

So it all started like this:
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life . . . (Green Day)
I grew up like many little girls do: walking to school with the neighborhood kids, skipping rope, cookouts, ballet, days at the beach and learning to ski.

It’s my life, it’s now or never. . .  (Bon Jovi)
When I hit the teen years, I hit them hard. Loud music, late nights, minimal school work, one word answers to parents, concert, fast cars. But I was young, carefree, and consequences were for other people.

Life in the fastlane, surely make you lost your mind . . . (Eagles)
But there’s only so long you can live that way. Oh, it was fun. I don’t regret a minute of it (the ones I remember, that is). But eventually I made my way out of college, into a job and damn, this little thing called responsibility (bills) started to cramp my style.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy . . . (Queen)
And then there was always the fantasy of marrying, having children, white picket fence attached to the white picket fence of my best friend. Perfectly behaved kids, manicured nails, dinner parties, girls’ nights out.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream . . . (old folk song)
And at first it IS a dream. Life goes merrily on. We do buy a house, brown fence but we love it. My kids are very well behaved. Of course there are struggles, but these are good kids. I do get my nails done weekly, have dinner parties and girls’ nights out.

Squash Casserole

Obladi oblada life goes on . . . (Beatles)

But life goes on; kids go off to school, we move to a bigger house, husband changes jobs, I take a job then leave it when the kids are on summer break. Through it all we’re a family. We eat together, play together, spend time together.

Everybody’s got their dues in life to pay  . . .  (Aerosmith)

Now my kids are teens. When they hit the teen years, they hit them hard. Loud music, late nights, minimal school work, one word answers to parents, concerts, fast cars. But they are young, carefree, and consequences are for other people.

And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life . . . (The Fray)

And so I’m challenged. Do I pull the sheets up over my head and pretend I don’t know that all their choices won’t be good ones? Or do I find a way to cope:

cocktails, baking, blogging, Red Sox, mysteries, sudoku, beach, skiing, ballet, cocktails and cocktails.

So stop the life you save may be your own. Oh wait, that’s still not “life”, that’s still “love” . . . Nevermind.

(My Mom's) Squash Casserole
                                      ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

 

Ingredients:
2 - 3 summer squash
2 - 3 zucchini
4 tomatoes
seasoned bread crumbs
sliced mozzarella
salt
pepper
oregano
garlic powder
onion powder

Directions:
 *NOTE:* I've made this recipe in many different sized and shaped dishes. The amount of the ingredients will depend on what you choose to use. In the pictuer above I used a 8 X 11 dish.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease your pan.
*Slice the squash, zucchini and tomatoes into about 1/2 inch rounds. Put a single layer of half of the squash in the bottom of the pan. You can cut pieces to fit, but don't have to cover the whole bottom of the pan.
*Layer half of the zucchini slices over the squash. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, oregano, garlic powder and onion powder.
*Layer half of the tomato slices over the seasonings, then sprinkle with seasoned bread crumbs.
*Cover with cheese slices.
*Repeat all layers. Cover and bake for one hour.