Screw Loose: Funny Friday

Today’s post is this month’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. Funny Friday is a collaborative project. Each month one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write 5 captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s picture. Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below, click on them and see what they’ve come up with. I hope we bring a smile to your face as you start your weekend.

Here's today's picture. It was submitted by Me!

1. Dad (mumbling under his breath): Some assembly required, they said. It'll be easy, they said. Easy, my ass.
Son: What, daddy?
Dad: I said grass, It'll be easy to assemble on the grass.
Grandfather (under his breath): Grass, my ass. 

2. Mom (to grandmother, both watching from the kitchen): You know he'll be a teenager before they get that done. 
Grandmother: It can be his high school graduation gift.

3. Grandmother (to mom): Let's go get mani pedis. You know dear, we should find them an 8 hour project every weekend. 

4. Son: Is it done yet?
Dad: We're just starting.
Son: Now?
Dad: It's going to take some time.
Son: Is it done yet?
Dad: I think mom's calling you why don't you go see what she wants?
Son: Then it'll be done?
Dad (under his breath): If she keeps you in there till dinner time.

5. Dad (walking into the house triumphantly): It's done! There were only like 6 screws left over, I'm sure they were extras.
Mom (whispering to grandmother): If he thinks I'm putting my son on a swing that's missing screws, he's got a screw loose himself.

And now for something yummy:

 

Mocha Swirl Breakfast Puffs

 

Click on the link below for more smiles:

Southern Belle Charm 

Mocha Swirl Breakfast Puffs        

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:  

1 1/2 cups milk, divided 

1 TBSP baking cocoa

1 TBSP sugar

1/4 cup brewed coffee

3 eggs

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp salt

 

1/4 cup powdered sugar

 

Directions:

*Whisk the baking cocoa and sugar into the brewed coffee. Mix in 1/4 cup milk and set aside to cool.

*Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray 12 muffin tin wells with non stick spray.

*Whisk together the remaining 1 cup of milk, eggs, flour and salt. Whisk the coffee mixture one more time, then drizzle into the batter (do not stir).

*Place the muffin tin into the preheated oven for about 30 seconds, just to heat up.

*Take the pan out of the oven and quickly pour the batter evenly into the 12 wells.

*Bake for 35  minutes, without opening the oven at all.

*Run a knife around the edges and pop the puffs out of the pan (they will deflate). Sprinkle with powdered sugar to serve.

 

Ideal Inspiration

                    

I don't write blog award posts any more because . . . well . . . 56.                           

 

But on the occasion of my nomination for a 57th award, I've decided that at this moment in time, I have something to say about it. About ideal inspiration, past and present. In this current climate, I think it's appropriate, urgent even, that we acknowledge each other, put voice to what encourages us, sustains us.

Although I don't write a post each time I receive an award, it's not that I don't appreciate every one of these awards, I do. As I said in my 3rd award post "most of my friends know how I feel about Blog Awards. I love them. They're similar to a virtual hug, given by people who know how challenging blogging can be. That means a lot." I felt that way then and I still feel that way now.

But here's my history with blogging awards:

Just a few months after I started blogging, I was honored with my first, a Liebster Blog Award from my very first blogging friend Michele, of Follow Me Home. I gladly accepted and wrote the post. Two weeks later I wrote Really, 11 Things about Me, Too? Liebster Award, Take 2, Final Take after receiving 3 more awards, stating this would be my last post of this type, as there are only so many similar posts you can write. I updated this post every time a new honor was bestowed upon me over the next 8 months, mentioning all new awards and linking to the blogger to whom I owed thanks.

Then a whole new group of awards came my way and I wrote yet another acceptance post called A Whole New Crop. Awards received after that were added to this post, which I updated close to 20 times.

I did eventually write a few more, including the Triumph Trophy. A friend, Kristi, left me a blog comment on one of the award posts saying "You should also get an I Didn't Kill My Teenager Award today as well." Yes, I should. And so should many others, so Kristi and I developed our own reward, The Triumph Trophy, and started passing it around.

That was pretty much the last one, I was done, after all, 56 is a pretty big number. So is 57, right? So why am I writing this one? 

Because now.

A few months ago I initiated a multi-blogger post to celebrate National Pink Day. I considered it the perfect opportunity to acknowledge, as I said at the time, my fellow humans of the female persuasion for stepping up to the plate during this Covid-19 nightmare.

Ideal Inspiration:

Ideal connotes excellence, perfection. Inspiration is not just about motivation, but evoking enthusiasm. Just as National Pink Day inspired me to honor women in general, this award inspires me to recognize a subset of them, bloggers, and all we have done and continue to do to reach out to each other, to support each other, and to inspire each other. Especially now.

For the rules (which I always, always bend, btw):
Rule #1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.
~ Thank you, Mimi of Messymimi's Meanderings, for the honor and for your friendship. 

Rule #2. Display the award (see above) and link to the creator.
~ The Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award was created by Rising Star of It's All About Inspiration.


Rule #3. Answer your nominator's questions:

Q: Who is your favorite writer and what is that person's best book in your opinion?
A: All of my friends' blogs are my absolute favorite reads.

As far as books go, I'm an avid reader but mostly read for amusement. My genre of choice is mystery and as a subset of that category, I gravitate towards a humorous mystery, or one in which the protagonist is a chef or baker.

Apple Cinnamon Ring

I read light books predominately but not exclusively. This past winter, for instance, I read the entire Mueller Report, and even wrote a blog post, Book Review: The Mueller Report.

Q: Are you more inspired to write by what you hear in conversation, what you see, or what you read?
A: I have developed and administer 8 monthly multi-blogger writing challenges. The participation in these challenges provide the vast majority of my inspiration. As for the rest of my blog calendar, I have learned to view everything I hear, see, and read as possible fodder for a blog post.

Q: When are you at your best, mornings or evenings?
A: Evenings. Don't talk to me before my coffee. Or my shower. Or the clock hitting the noon hour, for that matter.

Q: What is your favorite thing about blogging?
A: The people, the connections, the friendships and fierce support.

Q: What is one cuisine you have never tried but want to?
A: Authentic. 
Yes, I know that's not a cuisine. Through my travels I've had the local cuisine in Israel, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Taiwan, England, Venezuela, Mexico, Canada, Korea, St. Lucia, and many of the United States including Hawaii. So although I've had French food, I've yet to try it in France. I've had Italian food but not in Italy, and enjoy Greek food but would love to try it in Greece.

Rule #4. Nominate up to 9 other bloggers and ask them 5 new questions.
~ Here's where I'm bending the rules. There is no way for me to choose, among current bloggers, which provide me with ideal inspiration more than others. You all do, in one way or another, at one time or another. If I'm the friend that I hope I am, you know who you are and you know how I feel about you. My heartfelt thanks for being in my life and making my blogging world a better place.

So . . . I'm going to nominate 9 bloggers but ask no questions (oops). These are mostly women in my original blogging tribe, back in the day, who are no longer (or very rarely) blogging. They may have moved on from the blogging community, but the friendship, the support, the late night laughs, the inspiration, it's all still with me. They continue to hold my heart and my admiration:

Michele of Follow Me Home
Ashley of Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others 
Bonnie of A Little Unhinged
Rhiannon of Happy Little Feet
Melissa of Home on Deranged
Stacy of Stacy Sews and Schools
Erin of Searching for Sanity
Vicky of The Greek Housewife
Jenn of My Daily Jenn-ism

I ❤and miss you all.

Apple Cinnamon Ring

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 apples
3 TBSP melted butter
2/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tube refrigerated biscuits (8 count)

Directions:
*Grease a bundt pan with non-stick spray. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
*Core, peel, and slice the apples to about 1/4 inch thickness. Fan over the bottom of the pan.
*Whisk together the melted butter, brown sugar and cinnamon. Set aside about 2 TBSP of this mixture.
*Drizzle about 1/2 of the remaining mixture onto the apples.
*Open the tube of biscuits. Take the top approximately half of the layers of each biscuit off and add into the pan over the apples.
*Drizzle with the other 1/2 of the butter mixture and gently spread around. Top with the remaining bottom halves of the biscuits, and drizzle with the 2 TBSP of the butter mixture you'd set aside.
*Bake for 20 minutes. Allow to sit for 10 minutes before running a knife around the edges and inverting onto a plate.

Weeds, Rodents, and Mourning Bees: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 3 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Hubs comes into the kitchen where I'm working at the counter.

Hubs: What are you doing?
Me: Rolling out the pizza dough. 
Hubs: Oh. What's for dinner.
Me: {{blink, blink}}.

I mean, really, what do you say to that?

I was trying to stream the Red Sox game to our TV. PurDude had it set up for us with the HDMI cord attached to the TV, ready to plug into my laptop. Unfortunately I have a new laptop and the cord wouldn't fit in the port, so I had to just stream it to the laptop, not onto the TV. 

Hubs: That HDMI cord that we have that fit your last laptop is an old one, they don't even make them any more. You can just buy a new one online. 
Me: I'd probably get the wrong cord. 
Hubs: I doubt it. 
Me: I'd probably end up getting the same one we already have. 
Hubs: You couldn't even buy that old one if you tried. 
Me: Have you even met me? 

PS: That wasn't the HDMI cord I was trying to attach, but an old PC cord, we had the right HDMI cord all along, and it was attached right to the back of the TV just as PurDude had left it.

We were sitting in the den watching TV when we heard a bang on the glass. We live along the woods, have a lot of windows, and knew what it was. A bird had flown into our slider and was laying on the deck. Often they are stunned, flip themselves over and fly away. Hubs and I went over to look. 

Me: He's floundering around but not getting back to his feet. 
Hubs: I know, this one may have broken his neck. 
Me (going out there with a long stick): I'm going to flip him over. 
Hubs: Be really gentle. 

I flipped him over but it didn't look good. Whenever this happens we're really sad. Later we were talking about how much we hate when this happens. 

Hubs: Now if that had been a spider, you'd have been fine with it. 
Me: If a spider ever hit our glass door that hard I'd be in the next county and still running before you even made it over to check on him. 

Hubs walks in the room and I'm watching the TV.

Hubs: What are you watching?
Me: It's a fairly new show I've been hearing about, I thought I'd check it out.
Hubs: What's it about?
Me: A couple who are pregnant with triplets.
Hubs: There's really not all that much unusual about triplets, we have friends with triplets.
Me: This couple has 11 kids.
Hubs: On purpose? 
Me: Well, I'm guessing they know where babies come from. If not, someone needs to clue them in.
Hubs: Yeah, about 9 pregnancies ago.

Hubs: You have some weeds in your flower pot on the back deck, I'll pull them.
Me: NO.
Hubs: No?
Me: They fill in the pot, and they have pretty flowers.
Hubs: So you're going to keep them?
Me: You gonna stop me?

He may be getting old, but turns out he can still run pretty fast.

Baked Garlic Shrimp (no butter)

Me: Holy crap, there's some kind of rodent in the garden by the front door.
Hubs: Oh? How do you know?
Me: I can see little droppings on the front porch, and I caught a glimpse of him scurrying away when I opened the front door. 
Hubs: You better stay out of there.
Me: But my little reading nook is in there. 
Hubs: Read on the back deck.
Me: So we're just going to turn over the side garden to him? That's your answer?
Hubs: Pretty much.

Me: The birds are eating the Mullberries from the bushes in the woods and leaving purple bird poop all over the deck railing.
Hubs: I know, I saw it.
Me: I don't want them doing that any more, it's gross.
Hubs: What do you want me to do, guard the deck?
Me: Yes, thank you, that would be great.

Me: I'm in mourning.
Hubs: Mourning? What happened?
Me: My giant bees are gone.
Hubs: Gone?
Me: Yes. Well at first I thought maybe I'd offended them and they just left.
Hubs: But?
Me: I just found out that they only live 2 months.
Hubs: Ummm . . . I'm sorry for your loss?

Sometimes typos are funny, I like those, anything that makes me laugh, actually. But other times they are embarrassing, and I'm afraid that's the category most of mine fall into.

I was recently messaging my son and I was talking about something I'd cooked that was a favorite of his. Yes, my ulterior motive was to entice him to come home but so what, I'm not above a little blatant manipulation.

Anyway, I had wanted to say that we all enjoyed it, but that we all were acknowledging how great it would have been to have had him here. I had meant to say "We were all talking about how much you loved it."

What I did say was "We were all talking about how much you loved tit."

One letter. Just one little letter. And I am mortified! 

Me: I'm going to make some muffins today.
Hubs: Ummm.
Me: Ummm?
Hubs: No offense, I'm sure they'll be delicious but I think I'll pass.
Me: Really? Why?
Hubs: I saw the ingredients and I just don't think they're for me.
Me: The ingredients? Where?
Hubs: On the counter.

The muffin papers had flattened on my baking supplies shelf, so I put them into tins and put random bottles and containers into them to try to reshape them. So no, those weren't the ingredients for the muffins.

Hmmm, should I tell him? Or not?

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Never Ever Give Up Hope  
Menopausal Mother 

Baked Garlic Shrimp (no butter)       

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

2# large raw shrimp
2 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP lemon juice
1 TBSP minced garlic
1/4 cup white wine (can substitute chicken broth)
1/2 tsp stone ground mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper 
2 tsp dried parsley

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease an 8 X 11 baking dish.
*Peel and devein the shrimp, pat dry.
*Mix together the olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, white wine, mustard salt, pepper and parsley in the baking dish.
*Add the shrimp to the pan and mix. Bake for 10 minutes.
*Remove the shrimp from the oven but leave the oven on. Mix the shrimp and the sauce and return to oven for 10 minutes or until all of the shrimp are completely cooked, pink and no longer translucent.