Unsubscription Wars: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 4 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

Apparently (and I didn't know this when I began blogging), if your recipe comes out looking juvenile and you post it anyway, you are eligible for the electric chair. Yikes.

I had shared my contribution to this month's Blog With Friends "Boo" themed post in the private group for participants. I'd made a Peanut Butter Brownie Graveyard.

My friend Dawn, who knew I'd been having a hard time thinking up a project, sent me a PM on FB. The conversation went like this:

Dawn: Well, you obviously thought of something and posted it for BWF. See, I knew you could do it.
Me: Yes, just tried it out today. Looks like a kindergardener made it. This is what I hate about not having little ones around. No one to blame.
Dawn: Ugh, it does not. I like it.
Me: You're just saying that 'cause you don't want me to fry.

Good thing I caught it and changed it to say "cry". Freudian slip?

I was just about to sit down one afternoon after a morning of doing stuff around the house when my cell rang:

College Boy: Where are you?
Me: Hello to you.
College Boy: Hello. Where are you?
Me: I'm home.
College Boy: Why didn't you answer my text?
Me: I didn't hear my phone ding.
College Boy: Oh, I tried a few times.
Me: Sorry, I had the laundry going, sink on, oven on, I was using the food processor, I must have missed you. 

College Boy told me what he was calling for and when we were done I checked my cell. Yup, he had texted. 

First text: Mom?
Next text: Mom?
Next text: Mom, you there?
Next text: Mom?
Next text: Are you mad at me?
Next text: Mom, are you there?
Next text: Mom?
Next text: Why aren't you answering me?
Next text: Mom?
Next text: I just wanted to tell you something real quick.
Next text: Mom?
Next text: Hellooooooo?
Next text: MOM!

So yeah, I guess he was trying to get hold of me. About 47 times. Can't say I didn't teach my kids not to give up.

Early (OK, I admit it, anything before noon is "early" to me) on a Saturday morning I'm sitting in the den watching the news and working on my laptop when Hubs passes through the room.

Hubs: I'm going out to mow the lawn.
Me: Don't get lost.
Hubs: I'm not going anywhere, just mowing the lawn.
Me: How many years have we been married and I still have to explain my sense of humor to you?
Hubs: Oh. Yeah. Well, don't you get lost sitting there.
Me (rolling my eyes): That's just not how it works.

I was in the kitchen getting ready for the Jewish New Year, but had the TV on in the den as the Patriots were not only playing, but they were actually showing the game in my local market.  Hubs was downstairs in his man cave, it being Sunday afternoon and all.

The Bills had the ball and the Patriots intercepted. "YEAHHHH" I screamed from the kitchen. Just as I did, out of the corner of my eye I see Hubs climb the top step from the basement, turn around and head back down. Huh?

I went to the top of the stairs and called down to him:

Me: Did you need something?
Hubs: Just wanted to know if you knew the Patriots were on.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Hubs: And now the whole neighborhood knows that you know.

And that's a problem, why?

It was my birthday a week ago and, well, I may be getting a little sensitive about my age. I made this meme for my FB page, based on the old song from the 60's "It's my Party" (and I'll cry if I want to).

My mom didn't get the joke. Turns out she'd never heard of the song. Never heard of the song? I thought everyone had heard that song. You have, haven't you?

Pumpkin Boston Cream Poke Cake

I get all kinds of mail and email in the boys' names. Much of the junk mail comes to my house because this was their official address when they turned 18 (and, apparently, acquired a big promotional target on their backs). But I'm also getting a lot of the mail that they need as well, like from their work or rebates they've signed up for, that I then have to pass on to them. I asked them to change their address from mine to their own for anything they need. Both declined, stating that they've found the current situation cuts way back on crap mail in their own mailboxes, deflecting it to me. Thanks, boys.

Now I find that I'm getting emails for them too. I asked them about that, to which they informed me that using my address had done such a good job of cutting down their junk mail, they decided to use the same strategy with spam email. 

Apparently my kids are the gifts that keep on giving. And, on the plus side, you can't say I didn't raise smart kids. Devious, but smart.

Since I'm getting their junk mail, let me just say that I'm mortified at the companies that started targeting my boys once they turned 18. I'm constantly getting big glossy ads and coupons for them from cigarette companies and now from Juul.

And the emails I'm getting for the boys is an eye opener too. Less promotion, more threat. Like this one that I just got (google's on to you, btw, went right to my "spam" file) from "Service Center" concerning the car PurDude just bought 5 months ago:

"We have pre-authorized your Audi s5 for extended service. "(Pre-authorized? Doesn't that mean they're doing him the favor of allowing him to give them money?).

"With increased age and mileage, your chance of a breakdown is almost certain."
 
Jeez, that's harsh. 

Delete.

The other thing that pisses me off (you don't mind that I vent here, do you?) is the new incarnation (aggression) of subscription emails. I now get constant spam email from companies I have never bought from, have nothing to do with, but have to "unsubscribe" if I want them to stop. Why? Why do I have to unsubscribe if I never subscribed in the first place. And since I'm afraid to go to sites I don't know, I don't unsubscribe so in the spam promotion wars, they win.

But there are also companies I have done business with. Despite, whenever I place an order, my always unchecking their automatically checked "send me emails" box, I get them anyway. If they don't come too often, I often just delete them, but Walgreen's, OMG. They were sending them 2 and 3 times a day. I unsubscribed 6 different times and they still come. I went to their website but in order for me to change the email preferences (which weren't my preferences to start with), I have to give them my cell phone number so they can send me a code. Nope, not gonna happen. And since when is unsubscribing such a top secret transaction?

They have no email address available on their website, but I did finally find a form I could fill out to contact them. I did:

UNSUBSCRIBE ME
UNSUBSCRIBE ME
UNSUBSCRIBE ME
UNSUBSCRIBE ME
UNSUBSCRIBE ME
UNSUBSCRIBE ME   

Yeah, I need a vacation.

Walgreen's customer service did respond, and I have to admit that the response actually made me laugh. It started with "I'm sorry to have to respond to your desire not to receive emails with an email . . ." {{Ha, ha, well I had to give him that one.}} He then let me know that he has marked my email address for manual removal {{thank you, thank you, thank you}} but warned me this could take up to 10 business days {{which could be up to 20 more emails before I'm removed, I take back some of those "thank you"s}}. He then suggested that if that wasn't soon enough, I could block their email. {{wait, what? A company suggesting I block their email address?}}.

I'm thinking that if these emails are monitored by management, this guy may need to reassess his career path.

I was preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. It always rings when I'm working with raw meat, dammit. So I wash my hands and run to the door. 

Him: We were just replacing windows at a house around the corner . . .
Me (interrupting him because they always say that and it's never true): Really, which house?
Him (waving his arm in no clear direction): around the corner.
Me: But which house?
Him: The blue one.
Me (knowing there is no blue house in our neighborhood): Unsubscribe.
Him: What?
Me (closing the door): Unsubscribe.

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Never Ever Give Up Hope 
Spatulas on Parade
Sarah Nolan 

Pumpkin Boston Cream Poke Cake

                                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 box yellow cake mix and the ingredients specified on the box
1 (5.1 oz) box instant vanilla pudding mix
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 TBSP corn syrup
1 1/2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips

Directions:
*Grease and flour a 9 X 13 baking pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare the cake according to the directions on the box. Bake for the amount of time specified on the box. Cool completely.
*While cake is cooling, whisk together the pudding mix, milk, pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spice. Refrigerate.
*Poke about 30 holes into but not through the cake using the bottom of a wooden spoon. Pour the pumpkin mixture over the cake and gently smooth a knife over the top to spread evenly. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
*Heat the heavy cream and corn syrup in the microwave for one minute. Add the chocolate chips and stir until smooth. If all of the chocolate doesn't melt, place in the microwave for 20 seconds and continue stirring. Pour over the cake, cover and refrigerate until the ganache is set. 
*Store, covered, in the refrigerator. 

Candy and Costumes: Word Counters

Counting my words again. 

Today my fellow Word Counters and I are sharing our monthly group post. The bloggers who are joining me this time all picked a number between 12 and 74 and sent it to me. I gave the numbers out as assignments to other bloggers who are then challenged to write something (or a few somethings, as the case may be) using that exact number of words. Today we all share what we came up with.

I got the number 31. It was submitted by my friend the writer Sarah Nolan of the blog by the same name.

As I tend to do in these posts, I've chosen a general theme and am using my word count multiple times in keeping with my theme. Today's theme is Halloween (you're shocked, I know).

Candy and Costumes in 31 Words

~ Have you ever noticed that once it's October and you start buying Halloween candy, it being in your home is constantly taking over your conscious thoughts? No? Just me? Okay then.


~ We're halfway through October and I've already bought all of the Halloween candy. Like on the entire planet. Check your local store, I bet they're out. Sorry (not sorry), my bad.

~ A bit of advice, if you don't live alone and are sneaking a piece (or two) of the Halloween candy stash, push the wrapper(s) down below the rest of the trash.


~ My kids paid a Halloween candy tax. You know, a sweet price they had to pay to get back in the house at the end of a night of treat gathering. 

~ Don't worry, the sharing was done happily. The boys knew that it was always reciprocated. You share some of your candy, and mom will share her Orange and Pumpkin Carrot Cake. 

Orange and Pumpkin Carrot Cake

~ I know they say it's bad luck for a black cat to cross your path, but it doesn't count if it's you crossing theirs, right? Asking for a (fairly unlucky) friend.

~ The best way not to be afraid of a witch is to be one yourself. Or so I've heard. As I tried to climb onto my kitchen broom. Which didn't cooperate.

~ Don't ever go out with a ghost, not only because of the logistical challenges, but also 'cause when it's over, ghosting a ghost doesn't work. They walk through walls, you know.

~ Vampires, ghosts and witches too,
  come on that night by the slew.
  All are welcome to say "boo",
  but if candy's wanted by you 
  best say "trick or treat" . . . or shoo.

~ I will not trip any trick or treater wearing a trump mask, I will not trip any trick or treater wearing a trump mask. I will not trip any trick or . . .

There they are, ten Halloween thoughts each using 31 words (that's 310 words this month, if you're counting). Till next time, my spooky friends.

Here are links to the other Word Counters posts:

Spatulas on Parade

Wandering Web Designer
Sarah Nolan 
On the Border 

Orange and Pumpkin Carrot Cake         
                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups shredded carrots
1 (15 oz) can mandarin oranges, drained

8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
3 TBSP orange juice
1/2 cup chopped pecans, divided

Directions:
*Grease and flour 2 9 inch round cake pans. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar and brown sugar.
*Separately, whisk together the pumpkin puree, eggs and vanilla. Mix into the dry ingredients, just until incorporated. Fold in the carrots and mandarin oranges.
*Pour into prepared pans and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes, or until the center springs back to the touch. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes before removing to cool completely.
*Beat the cream cheese, powdered sugar and orange juice. Remove about 1/3 of the frosting and add 1/4 cup of chopped pecans. 
*Place the bottom cake layer on a serving plate. Pour the frosting that has the pecans in it over the top and let drizzle down the sides. Top with the next cake layer and pour the remaining frosting over this layer, allowing it to drizzle down the sides as well. Quickly sprinkle the top with the remaining pecans and refrigerate immediately to set.

Date Night Dilemma: Use Your Words

Today’s post is a monthly writing challenge. If you’re new here, this is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once. All of the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the recipient will take them. Until now.

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.
I'm using: phone ~ neighbourhood ~ falling ~ official ~ beetle
They were submitted by Diane of On the Border.

                          
"I love you", she looked him straight in the eye, "and I will leave him if that's the only way to keep you".

It was a difficult thing to say but the truth is, she was finally addressing out loud what she'd known in her head for weeks. It was such an emotional step to take, but she had to take it, it was time. Or she would lose him.

"We cannot have an entire relationship within the walls of this house", he continued to make his case despite the fact that she had already capitulated. "We need to be able to go out, be together somewhere else, and around other people, in public. Drink, laugh, talk, even if it's just to a neighbourhood (no, I didn't spell this wrong, Diane, who gave me these words, is Canadian and I defer to her spelling in this post) restaurant or that little dessert bar down the street".

Mint Chocolate Cheesecake

She could have maintained the status quo, would have preferred it really, maybe not forever but at least for now. It wasn't fair to him, though, and she knew it. He was putting his foot down, and she really couldn't blame him, he was not just doing it for himself, she had to admit that it was for them both.

There was, of course, something she had to do first. One of the hardest things she'd had to do in a very long time. Tomorrow. She'd do it tomorrow.

That night in bed, both emotionally drained and deeply exhausted, despite being as snug as a beetle in a rug (yes, I know the saying is "bug in a rug" but I gotta work with what I've been given here), sleep evaded her. The task ahead of her weighed heavily. Really, this should not be so difficult to do, she should actually be excited, looking forward to it.

But so much was running through her mind: she remembered the day she had met her husband, how much she enjoyed dating him, just being with him. She recalled the slow realization that she was falling for him, relived the day he proposed. Her wedding day was the most perfect day of her life, or so she had thought until just a month ago, when she met the person on whom she was now fully focused.

The next day, she set out to do what she needed to do. She turned to a few trusted friends for advice. Besides giving her valuable direction, they all assured her she would be OK. Better than OK, they all agreed, she'd be happier than she realizes in this moment. Words she later came to acknowledge were, of course, true.

And then, taking a deep breath, she picked up her phone. And put it down again. In the end, though, she did it. She said the words she needed to say, made the required arrangements.

You'd think she'd be relieved, once it was set in stone, but not so much. She questioned herself non-stop, all day long. "Is it too late? Can I undo this? What if I'm not ready?". The thoughts were relentless, even all the way into that evening as she dressed and prepared to leave her home.

An hour later she sat in his car. "I love you", she looked him straight in the eye, "I told you I would leave him and I did".

She actually did it. Left her one month old son with a babysitter and went out with her husband on her official first "date night" as a new mom.

Here are links to all the other Use Your Words posts:

Wandering Web Designer 
Spatulas on Parade
On the Border
 Follow Me Home
Climaxed 
Part-time Working Hockey Mom 

Mint Chocolate Cheesecake

                                               ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:

11.5 oz package Keebler Fudge Stripe Mint cookies
4 TBSP butter, melted

2 1/2 packages (8 oz) cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup heavy cream
3 eggs, room temperature
2/3 cup Andes baking chips
1/4 cup chocolate syrup

Directions:
*Wrap a sheet of tin foil around the bottom and partially up the sides of a 9 inch springform pan. Lightly grease the inside of the pan. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
*In a food processor, crush the cookies to fine crumbs, it should make about 2 3/4 cups of crumbs. Set aside 1/2 cup of the crumbs and mix the other 2 1/4 cups with the melted butter. Press into and partially up the sides of the prepared pan.
*Beat the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Beat in the sour cream and heavy cream, then the eggs, one at a time. Gently fold in the baking chips and the remaining cookie crumbs.
*Pour 1/2 of the batter into the prepared crust. Seal the chocolate into a sandwich bag. Snip a corner of the bag and drizzle half of the syrup over the batter and swirl into the batter, using a toothpick. Repeat with the remaining batter and chocolate syrup.
*Bake for 60 to 75 minutes, until the center is just set.
*Remove from oven and allow to cool. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
*Gently run a knife around the cheesecake before removing the side of the pan.
*Store leftovers, covered, in the refrigerator.