My younger son is really, really smart. I mean sometimes-he-scares-me smart. He also has a great work ethic, really applies himself. Now I know it seems like I’m boasting and believe me I do my share, but for the purposes of this post, it’s just a fact.
This son is a senior in high school and we’re holding our breath waiting, within the next week, to see which colleges he’s gotten into. We’ve heard from some and been offered some scholarships, but the last few promise word by April first. The whole April Fools thing isn’t lost on me.
As I sit here biting my nails and twitching as I wait to see what our options are, I’ve had some time to think about this intelligence my son exhibits and I’m trying to figure out where it came from. OK, I’m trying to take credit. Whatever, it’s just semantics.
Initially it was pretty clear that he inherited his brains from me. After all, science and math are his areas of expertise and I did really well in both. I mean I know that pi is 3.1459265358979323846264333279502884197169 . . .
I just don’t know why. It’s certainly never come up whenever I’ve made pie:
Mixed Berry Pie Strawberry Cream Cheese Pie Chocolate Mint Pie
OK, I’m not making a very good case for myself, am I? So maybe it’s not me?
And yet, it’s true that I’m responsible for the deduction of multiple scientific mathematical theorems that serve to quantify many of the variables of daily life.
For instance, I’ve developed a calculation of the probability of spring-like temperatures in the middle of January based on specific identifiable factors:
wearing a sweatshirt = temperatures below zero
wearing a coat = temperature will reach 60 degrees
wearing a coat + hat = temperature will reach 65 degrees
wearing a coat + hat + scarf = temperatures will reach 70 degrees
wearing a coat + hat + scarf + gloves = temperature will reach 75 degrees
wearing a coat + hat + scarf + gloves + boots = you could boil water on the pavement
Spring Fever Cookies
There is a quantifiable correlation between how many items I send my husband to the grocery store for and how many phone calls I have to wait for before it’s safe to get in the shower:
phone calls home ÷ 2 = number of items purchased
There’s a calculable relationship between how much gas each of the parents’ cars have in them and which parent a teen will ask to borrow their car:
full tank = 100% probability
half tank = 50% probability
low gas = 0% probability
I have come up with a mathematical equation to calculate the number of times you’ll have to go to the store for forgotten dinner ingredients in a snowstorm:
1 inch of snow = forgetting an item x 1
2 inches of snow = forgetting and item x 2
sleet + ice = forgetting an item x ∞
There’s a simple logical formula for the probability of burning my fingers taking the bay leaves out of the sauce that’s been cooking all day:
boiling liquid + bare fingers = owie, every time
Oh yeah, it’s definitely me!
Spring Fever Cookies©www.BakingInATornado.com
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
¼ cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 ¼ cups flour
½ tsp baking soda
4 food colorings of your choice
½ cup sugar
2 TBSP butter, softened
4 oz Fluff (Marshmallow Creme)
2 cups powdered sugar (minus 2 TBSP if using sweetened Kool-Aid)
2 -3 TBSP heavy cream
1 TBSP Kool-Aid powder, flavor of your choice
*Cream the butter, margarine and sugars. Beat in the egg and vanilla. Mix in the flour and baking soda.
*Divide the dough into four equal parts. Mix a different color of food coloring into each one.
*Flatten each dough, you can just use your hands, into an approximately 8 inch X 5 inch rectangle. It doesn’t have to be exact and they don’t have to all be the same size. Pile them one on top of the other, gently roll them into a log, wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour and a half.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets.
*Remove doughs from the fridge and either slice into ¼ inch thick rounds or, using about 1 tsp at a time roll the dough into balls. Be sure to get all of the colors in each ball and don’t over roll or the colors will blend too much.
*Place on cookie sheets.
*Grease the bottom of a glass with non-stick cooking spray and dip the glass in the ½ cup sugar. Use the sugar coated glass to gently flatten the cookies. You’ll need to keep dipping the glass in more sugar as you go.
*You can leave these round or if you want to make these egg shaped, shape them with your fingers before baking.
*Bake for about 10 minutes. Don’t let them brown. Remove and cool completely.
*These are delicious filled or, for a less sweet version, just as they are.
OPT: Directions, Frosting:
*Beat the butter, fluff and 2 TBSP of cream.
*Mix in the powdered sugar and Kool-Aid until just blended.
*Beat until spreadable (should be thick so it doesn’t drip out of the cookie). If the frosting is too thin, add more powdered sugar, if it’s too thick, add the other TBSP of cream in small increments as needed.
*Spread desired amount of frosting onto the flat side of a cookie and make into a sandwich using the flat side of a similar sized and shaped cookie.