My younger son is really, really smart. I mean sometimes-he-scares-me smart. He also has a great work ethic, really applies himself. Now I know it seems like I’m boasting and believe me I do my share, but for the purposes of this post, it’s just a fact.

This son is a senior in high school and we’re holding our breath waiting, within the next week, to see which colleges he’s gotten into. We’ve heard from some and been offered some scholarships, but the last few promise word by April first. The whole April Fools thing isn’t lost on me.

As I sit here biting my nails and twitching as I wait to see what our options are, I’ve had some time to think about this intelligence my son exhibits and I’m trying to figure out where it came from. OK, I’m trying to take credit. Whatever, it’s just semantics.

Initially it was pretty clear that he inherited his brains from me. After all, science and math are his areas of expertise and I did really well in both. I mean I know that pi is 3.1459265358979323846264333279502884197169 . . .

I just don’t know why. It’s certainly never come up whenever I’ve made pie:

Mixed Berry Pie Strawberry Cream Cheese Pie Chocolate Mint Pie

OK, I’m not making a very good case for myself, am I? So maybe it’s not me?

And yet, it’s true that I’m responsible for the deduction of multiple scientific mathematical theorems that serve to quantify many of the variables of daily life.

For instance, I’ve developed a calculation of the probability of spring-like temperatures in the middle of January based on specific identifiable factors:

wearing a sweatshirt = temperatures below zero

wearing a coat = temperature will reach 60 degrees

wearing a coat + hat = temperature will reach 65 degrees

wearing a coat + hat + scarf = temperatures will reach 70 degrees

wearing a coat + hat + scarf + gloves = temperature will reach 75 degrees

wearing a coat + hat + scarf + gloves + boots = you could boil water on the pavement

Spring Fever Cookies

There is a quantifiable correlation between how many items I send my husband to the grocery store for and how many phone calls I have to wait for before it’s safe to get in the shower:

phone calls home ÷ 2 = number of items purchased

There’s a calculable relationship between how much gas each of the parents’ cars have in them and which parent a teen will ask to borrow their car:

full tank = 100% probability

half tank = 50% probability

low gas = 0% probability

I have come up with a mathematical equation to calculate the number of times you’ll have to go to the store for forgotten dinner ingredients in a snowstorm:

1 inch of snow = forgetting an item x 1

2 inches of snow = forgetting and item x 2

sleet + ice = forgetting an item x ∞

There’s a simple logical formula for the probability of burning my fingers taking the bay leaves out of the sauce that’s been cooking all day:

boiling liquid + bare fingers = owie, every time

Oh yeah, it’s definitely me!

__Spring Fever Cookies__

Printable Recipe

__Ingredients, Cookies:__

1 stick butter, softened

1 stick margarine, softened

¼ cup brown sugar

½ cup white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

2 ¼ cups flour

½ tsp baking soda

4 food colorings of your choice

½ cup sugar

__OPT:Ingredients, Frosting:__

2 TBSP butter, softened

4 oz Fluff (Marshmallow Creme)

2 cups powdered sugar (minus 2 TBSP if using sweetened Kool-Aid)

2 -3 TBSP heavy cream

1 TBSP Kool-Aid powder, flavor of your choice

__Directions, Cookies:__

*Cream the butter, margarine and sugars. Beat in the egg and vanilla. Mix in the flour and baking soda.

*Divide the dough into four equal parts. Mix a different color of food coloring into each one.

*Flatten each dough, you can just use your hands, into an approximately 8 inch X 5 inch rectangle. It doesn’t have to be exact and they don’t have to all be the same size. Pile them one on top of the other, gently roll them into a log, wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour and a half.

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets.

*Remove doughs from the fridge and either slice into ¼ inch thick rounds or, using about 1 tsp at a time roll the dough into balls. Be sure to get all of the colors in each ball and don’t over roll or the colors will blend too much.

*Place on cookie sheets.

*Grease the bottom of a glass with non-stick cooking spray and dip the glass in the ½ cup sugar. Use the sugar coated glass to gently flatten the cookies. You’ll need to keep dipping the glass in more sugar as you go.

*You can leave these round or if you want to make these egg shaped, shape them with your fingers before baking.

*Bake for about 10 minutes. Don’t let them brown. Remove and cool completely.

*These are delicious filled or, for a less sweet version, just as they are.

__OPT: Directions, Frosting:__

*Beat the butter, fluff and 2 TBSP of cream.

*Mix in the powdered sugar and Kool-Aid until just blended.

*Beat until spreadable (should be thick so it doesn’t drip out of the cookie). If the frosting is too thin, add more powdered sugar, if it’s too thick, add the other TBSP of cream in small increments as needed.

*Spread desired amount of frosting onto the flat side of a cookie and make into a sandwich using the flat side of a similar sized and shaped cookie.

Oh, you're far smarter than I am. Numbers are not my thing. I do, though, burn my fingers when removing the bay leaves at a rate equal to yours. Cute post... and the recipe sounds delicious.

ReplyDeleteBest wishes for infinite elation upon hearing where your son has been accepted.

Not sure if all that is numbers smart or life lessons but I'll take the compliment!

DeleteI like your math!

ReplyDeleteGenius, don't you think?

DeleteYour calculations are all listed in the "Murphy's Law Book" They are concrete! My brother's I Q is scary -- above genius as are two of his sons. I see the same thing in my daughter's son -- guess I got skipped!! :(

ReplyDeleteDespite my calculations I'm pretty sure I got skipped too.

DeleteI'm SO not a numbers girl... except that I can count cookies, so I do know when they're taken from my plate!

ReplyDeletePraying big for your sweet boy... hope he makes it to the college of his dreams!

Thanks, he's got some really great options already, just waiting to hear from the last 2. Keep those fingers crossed for another week.

DeleteYour are for sure a genius! Hope your son gets into the college of his dreams.

ReplyDeleteThanks, we should know soon. Trying really hard to not think about it every second of every day.

DeleteHere's to getting good responses in April!

ReplyDeleteWith my luck, any kids we have will get the perfect combination of my natural intellect & my wife's stubbornness, along with her patented manipulative sad, puppy-eyes routine.

We're probably going to be in a lot of trouble.

Oh, don't get me wrong, both of my boys got a good dose of my stubbornness also.

DeleteVery true. Don't forget that if you want to take a nap someone will call with an emergency.

ReplyDeleteBest wishes for your son and college options. I know it will be great. He has your brains and cooking for his whole life.

Thanks, Becca. And yes, you're right there's the whole nap/emergency relationship as well as the shower/phone thing too. Hmmm, maybe I need to write a part two.

DeleteI'l take a slice of that chocolate mint pie to go along with the laughs I got from this. It's like your Murphy's Law of life!

ReplyDeleteI must be pretty special, having my own set of Murphy's Laws!

Deleteso cracking up with your calculations...One of the reasons I am a reading specialist, I SUCK AT MATH. Seriously, you add letters to the mix and I zone out. I am scared for when Dino needs help in math.

ReplyDeleteI have news for you, you'll be at no more of a loss than all the other parents. I was good in math, but they changed how it's done and make you show the process not just the answer. Why they've decided to make it harder to come up with the same answer I'll never know. Maybe just to confuse the parents.

DeleteI lost you after the pie pictures. I would like a slice of each please. You should really think about shipping!!! And those easter egg cookies? OMG those would be a huge hit. I'm sorry…was there some math involved in this post?

ReplyDeleteGood luck to your son!!! I hope he gets into every school and can simply choose his favorite.

Thank you. Hope we find out before the stomach acids eat me up from the inside out!

DeleteGreat calculations! At least you have a concrete equation to get the right answer. Unfortunately, for me, the equation varies from day to day.

ReplyDeleteWatch for those constants. You too can be the developer of your own theorems!

DeleteHey, if Math were as easy as your calculations, I'd have my doctorate by now :) You must be so proud of both of your boys; you've all come so far.

ReplyDeleteThose cookies scream "Spring!" I love them. Kool-aid frosting? The kids will eat them up in no time. Ahem, so will mom :)

Hope you try the cookies. We loved them. Including Mom!

DeleteThese are so cute! Thanks for bringing them over and linking up at the Weekend Social. I hope to see you again next week!

ReplyDeleteThanks for the invitation, Ronda.

DeleteCute cookies and you know I love that mixed berry pie!

ReplyDeleteMe too. Ir's a sign of Spring, Spring Fever Cookies and Mixed Berry Pie

Delete