A few weeks ago Cluttered Genius interviewed me for a post she was writing in support of one of the collaborative books I contributed to, The Mother of All Meltdowns. In the interview she asked what makes me laugh. What a great question.
My answer to her was that I find my children’s laughter contagious. Hearing my boys laugh makes me laugh. But laughter comes so much easier when they’re little. AS they get older, sometimes you have to dig deeper to bring it out.
When my boys became teenagers I started watching the news and scanning the papers for absurd news stories. You know, the kind that make you laugh out loud and think “yup, truth is stranger than fiction.” I wanted the family dinners we had left to always end on a happy note. On nights when the conversations were more serious or stressful, I’d bring up some of those stories before we left the table. Or I’d quote some funny “bot” comments I’d gotten on the blog, or search terms people had typed into Google that somehow, inexplicably, landed them on my blog. Every meal ended with laughs all around. Perfect.
I’d done a post about funny true news stories a year ago and was asked at the time to do another. I’m pretty sure they didn’t mean a year and a half later, but I’m finally getting around to it. So from the “you can’t make this stuff up” files, here are some true news stories, some funny computer-generated bot comments and some search terms that landed people on my blog (and probably had them scratching their heads as to why they ended up here). And, of course, I’ve added some of my own comments.
Some of what we’ve been laughing about at our dinner table:
*Someone has come up with an alcoholic drink in powdered packets (looks like a Kool-Aid packet).
~This is either genius or the most dangerous invention since TNT.
*Haagen Dazs is testing vegetable flavored ice creams, one with tomato and another with carrots.
~When reporting about it on the national news, Brian Williams said it best; “this is a purpose-defeating product if ever there was one.”
*A local man was arrested for driving his lawnmower down the street.
~The story gets better, when pulled over, it was evident that he had been drinking. He told the arresting officer that he was driving to a store down the street from his house. Evidently he had run out of beer.
Baked Hot Wings
Search terms that lead people to this blog:
*baking soda for hot flashes
~Wait, what? Don’t leave me hanging, am I supposed to eat it? Wear it? Bathe in it?
~I’m so sorry but you have been horribly lead astray by Google. You are SO in the wrong place.
*name cakes happy birthday linda
~I’m stumped by this one too. I name my cakes but I’ve never named one “happy birthday Linda”. I don’t even know a Linda.
~What does this even mean? Who Googles this? Really, I want to know.
Bot generated blog comments:
* “Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody who genuinely knows what they are discussing.” The comment goes on to say “I can’t believe you aren’t more popular.”
~Ummmmm, gee thanks.
* “At Trader Joe’s, the popcorn arrives packaged pre-popped and also is actually as effortless to ingest as potato chips.”
~OK, good to know.
* “We are a group opening a new scheme in our community. Your website provided us with valuable information.”
~Does this make me an accessory?
* “I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had trouble cleaning my mind.”
~Sorry buddy, your dirty mind is not my problem.
* “Permit this review and we’ll protect a fictional dog!”
~Wow, really? If I post your review on my blog you’ll protect a fictional dog?What do I have to do to get you to protect a real dog? Wait. Don’t answer that.
Baked Hot Wings©www.BakingInATornado.com
3 – 4 #chicken wings or wingettes
4 tsp cayenne
¼ tsp paprika
¼ tsp chili powder
¼ tsp cumin
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
1 ½ cups Frank’s Hot Sauce
*Mix together the cayenne, paprika, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, salt and pepper.
*Rinse wings and pat dry. Sprinkle liberally with the seasoning mix, pat in, turn wings over and repeat.
*Place wings in a gallon bag and refrigerate for 24 hours.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick spray.
*Arrange the wings, not overlapping onto the cookie sheet. Sprinkle with more of the seasoning mix.
*Bake for 30 minutes, turn the wings over, sprinkle with more of the seasoning mix and bake another 30 minutes.
*Pour the Hot Sauce into a large bowl. Take the wings from the oven and immediately put into the bowl with the sauce. Stir to coat.