Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Twelve Signs a Staycation's Not Gonna Cut It

I need a vacation. And none of that staycation crap. Like the guy who keeps emailing asking for my credit card number and personal info to send me my inheritance, I'm not falling for that scam either. Staycation? I've been staycationing in my house this whole winter. Spoiler alert: NOT fun. There's a kitchen here, a washing machine, a dishwasher . . . Nope, not what I'm looking for in a vacation. I need a full fledged get-the-hell-out-of-dodge vacation. Sun not optional.

There's a way to gauge these things, you know, your need for vacation. There are signs, all the way from "moderately sick of winter" to "off the charts desperate." Here are the 12 signs you need a vacation. See where you stand:

Twelve Signs a Staycation's Not Gonna Cut It, a humorour look at winter blues. | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics #humor #funny

1) You haven't ventured out into the cold in so long your butt is stuck to the couch. I'm not talking about the getting-old-and-having-to-rock-to-get-yourself-up kinda stuck, I'm talking about ripping-the-skin-off-your-butt kinda stuck.

2) When you have to go to the store, you find yourself standing in the aisle lovingly eying the suntan lotion.

3) It's been so long since you've seen the sun that when it peeks out you have to put on sunglasses. Indoors.

4) You're secretly wearing a bathing suit as underwear. 

5) Your family comes home at dinner time and finds you've stopped cooking and are trying to drag the gas grill into the house.

One Pan Kielbasa Orzo Dinner is an easy and flavorful meal you can make in just 1/2 hour. There's also an option for making ahead and baking later. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #dinner #pasta

One Pan Kielbasa Orzo Dinner
One Pan Kielbasa Orzo Dinner is an easy and flavorful meal you can make in just 1/2 hour. There's also an option for making ahead and baking later. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #dinner #pasta

6) You realize that if your skin is lighter than that zinc oxide your mama used to put on your nose.

7) Hubs comes into the bathroom to find you waving the hair dryer over your entire body trying to remember what it feels like to be warm.

8) You find yourself building a sand castle with all that sand that comes into the house on your shoes from the snow plows.

9) You have a hammock set up in the kitchen because that running dishwasher is sounding a lot like waves on the beach.

10) The bronzer you bought to try to look less ghost-like is clumped in the hair that you haven't bothered shaving on your legs.

11) At the Chinese restaurant you swear that colorful little umbrella in your drink is mocking you.

12) You're seriously considering taking a hit out on Punxsutawney Phil.

The results are in. I need a vacation. You?

Baking In A Tornado signature | www.BakingInATornado.com | #MyGraphics

One Pan Kielbasa Orzo Dinner         
Printable Recipe
1 package (12 oz) cooked Kielbasa
1 tsp minced garlic
4 oz mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1/2 red pepper, cleaned and sliced
1 green onion, cleaned and chopped
1 cup orzo
2 cups beef broth
1 tsp beef bouillon
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp Italian seasoning 
1 can french fried onions

*Slice the kielbasa, on the bias, into about 1/2 inch wide pieces. 
*Spray a large skillet with nonstick spray and heat to medium high. Add the Kielbasa and brown on one side, lower the heat to medium, flip over and brown on the other side. Remove from the pan and keep warm.
*To the pan, add the garlic, mushrooms, red pepper and green onion. Cook and stir for one minute. 
*Add the orzo, beef broth, beef bouillon, salt, pepper and Italian seasoning. Turn on high, bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. 
*Uncover and stir, making sure none of the orzo is stuck to the bottom of the pan. Cover again and continue to simmer until the orzo is soft and has absorbed most of the broth, about another 5 minutes.
*Uncover, add the warm Kielbasa, cook and stir one more minute. Sprinkle top with the french fried onions.
*OPT: If you want to make this ahead, cook as specified, pour into a greased casserole dish, cover and refrigerate. When ready to serve, bring to room temperature and bake in a 350 degree oven just until hot.


  1. Thanks for the chuckle. I need a vacation, TOO. BADLY!!!

    And this orzo recipe looks delicious. Mmmn. Orzo is my favorite!

  2. After reading this, obviously, I need a vacation as well. Sigh.

    1. Agreed. I'd be willing to bet it's even colder up there where you are. Brrrrr.

  3. I am so ready for a vacation! I have a couple of more weeks and I'm taking a very long weekend in the mountains.

  4. Oh man do I need a vacation.......on a beach, lots of sun and sand and drinks and sleep and coffee and books.

  5. I was able to take 4 days out in January to go to Virginia (I live in upstate New York). It was WONDERFUL. I saw pansies. I saw the sun. There were even wineries there. And a wine bar that sold wine by the metered ounce. Perfect. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

  6. March and November are my least favorite months! I head east in 29 days and although it will be colder than my home I get to see smiling little faces and big ones, eat lobster and stuffies, see more family, go to NYC with my sister for our annual 'sister's in the city' weekend, and have a change of scenery. My husband will stay put and run the business. I go the same time every year to celebrate my Mother's birthday and usually it is 70 and sunny at home and I am sloshing through sleet or snow.
    I just love orzo. It is my favorite pasta.

    1. You don't have to go to the beach to have a great vacation. Enjoy your time back east with family, and have a lobsta for me!


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