Turkeys and Bobbleheads: Fly on the Wall

Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 8 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

I got a new car. And considering all the years I've had cars, and all the different cars I've had, you'd think I'd know how to do something as simple as close the trunk by now.

But this SUV has a hydraulic trunk opener. It's pretty easy to open, you just press the button on the key fob. So the discussion was how to close it. Let me set the scene: trunk is open, and around it stands Hubs, College Boy and I.

Me: Well you must close it by just pressing the button on the key fob again (presses the button, nothing happens).
Hubs: I bet you gently press on the trunk and it closes itself (gently presses the trunk, nothing happens).
Me: Maybe you press and hold the button on the key fob (presses and holds the button and the panic alarm wakes the dead . . . and all the neighbors).
College Boy: See on the lip of the trunk, that 4 inch long button lined in red with a picture of an open trunk on it? 

College Boy presses the button and the trunk closes, shakes his head and walks away. 

OK, he made us feel like idiots, but on the positive side, we could STILL be standing there looking at the open trunk.

If you're a regular reader, you know that I talk all the time about trying to get College Boy to write me a guest post. He's intelligent and thoughtful and about certain topics, quite passionate. It's almost become a joke, me asking him when he's going to write me a guest post and him making up excuses as opposed to just saying "never". But this time, he brought it up himself.

College Boy: I'm going to write you a guest post. I can't promise when, but I'll do it.
Me: {{blink, blink}}
College Boy: What's that weird face you're making?
Me: I'm laugh-crying.
College Boy: Laugh-crying?
Me: Yeah, I'm laughing 'cause I know you're not going to do it, and I'm crying 'cause . . . well . . . I know you're not going to do it.

Hubs is outside moving some of the wood from the wood pile into the garage so it's easy to get at and it stays dry. I'm in the house, being me.

Hubs (running in the house): What's going on? Are you OK?
Me: Fine.
Hubs: I thought I heard screaming.
Me: That was me.
Hubs (looking around): Who were you screaming at?
Me: Purdue.
Hubs: The school?
Me: The basketball team.
Hubs (heading back outside): Carry on.

PurDude was home for a few days over Thanksgiving (yay). Apparently his being away so much of the year doesn't diminish his eye-rolling "my mom is nuts, just gotta accept it" mentality. He walked in the house and found me in the kitchen holding a lit match over a bowl of food.

PurDude: What are you doing?
Me: Do you really want to know?
PurDude: Nope.

I was making my THE Best Pumpkin Pie. It puffs up in the oven, then deflates on the counter. I had just shut off the oven and when I looked over at the pie, it was slowly starting to settle.

Me: Look, it almost looks like the pie is breathing.
College Boy: Your food always pulsates.
Me: Huh?

College Boy walks away.
Me (yelling after him): Come back here and tell me what that means.

Me (to Hubs): What the hell does that mean?
Hubs (grabbing his keys): Gotta go. Meeting a client. Don't want to be late. Be back later.
Me (yelling after him): Coward!

Spicy Chicken Roll Ups

I had been sitting at my desk in our home office working for what seemed like hours. I was adding new payees to my bank website, getting my new car added to our insurance, paying bills, all that boring stuff. Every time I thought I was done, I remembered something else I needed to take care of.

I finally got up from the office and walked into the kitchen.

Me: Ouch. My ass hurts.
College Boy (who scared me since I didn't realize he'd come in the house while I was working): Really Mom? Is it necessary to share that?
Me: Oh, did I say that out loud?

I was preparing the turkey for Thanksgiving when we started to talk about the turkey who used to live in the back yard.

College Boy: I miss that turkey.
Me: Me too, he was like a friend.
Hubs: Yeah, remember when he'd come up to the front door, see himself in the reflection and think it was another turkey.
College Boy: When really he was just seeing Mom.

You've heard me refer to him as "smart ass" before right? Well that happens pretty often.

I had been speaking with Hubs before PurDude came home for Thanksgiving and said that it was possible that PurDude may have gained a lot of weight since we'd last seen him. He moved into a house with a few friends and not only was eating fast food for dinner every night, but was spending a ton of time at the library and may not have been able to keep going to the gym regularly. 

PurDude walked in the door and he looked great. He had clearly been able to make time to keep working out.

Hubs (to me): He's not fat. He looks great.
Me (looking at Hubs with shock): You do know he's standing right next to you, right?
Hubs: Well you said he was going to be fat, he looks good, very fit.
Me (to PurDude): So you may have noticed that Dad lost his mind while you were gone . . .

 

PurDude hasn't been home in 6 months. I always see him every other month or so, but since he did an internship this summer, he hadn't been home since May. When I really got a chance to look at him (meaning stopped hugging him long enough to step back for a minute) I noticed that he'd really beefed up and broadened his chest. 

Me: You're spending a lot of time at the gym.
PurDude: I always did.
Me: Since you're always eating on the run, I'm glad you're exercising, but you need to be careful, you don't want to be a bobblehead.
PurDude: bobblehead.
Me: You know, your head doesn't stays the same size. You don't want your chest and shoulders to get too big, you'll look like a bobblehead.
PurDude: So I see you too lost your mind while I was gone . . . 

Hubs was going to Best Buy and I knew PurDude was looking for new headphones so I asked Hubs not to go without him but PurDude was sleeping. 

Hubs: He's sleeping and I need to go soon.
Me: Wake him up.
Hubs: I don't want to do that.
Me: He's been sleeping for 12 hours, it's fine.

Hubs goes upstairs and comes back down.

Hubs: He's really fast asleep, I'm not waking him up.
Me: I don't want you to go without him, I want you to pay for the headphones.
Hubs: You go wake him up, he'll take it better from you.

I'm no fool, I know Hubs just wants me to wake him up and be the bad guy. I go up to PurDude's room to get him up.

Me: Honey, wake up. Dad's going to Best Buy and I want to get you those headphones. Dad wanted to go without you but I wouldn't let him.

After this many years of marriage, Hubs should know who he's dealing with. Who's the bad guy now?

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 
Searching for Sanity
Spatulas on Parade
Never Ever Give Up Hope 
Bookworm in the Kitchen 
The Blogging 911
Go Mama O

Spicy Chicken Roll Ups        

                                                                             ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1/3 cup mayonnaise
2 tsp sriracha sauce
1/8 tsp cumin
1/8 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/2 green onion, chopped
1 small can chopped black olives
4 medium sized tortillas
8 slices deli chipotle chicken 
1/2 cup Chipotle Ranch salad dressing

OPT: additional sriracha sauce for serving

Directions:
*Mix the mayonnaise, sriracha, cumin, paprika and garlic powder. Spread onto the center of the tortillas, leaving about a 3/4 inch border.
*Sprinkle with the green onion and chopped black olives.
*Cover with 2 slices of the deli chicken. Roll up tightly.
*Slice the rolled tortillas into about 1 inch slices. 
*OPT: drizzle with additional sriracha sauce for extra spicy.
*Serve with Chipotle Ranch salad dressing for dipping.