Shop at Your Own Risk: Fly on the Wall

 Welcome to a monthly Fly on the Wall group post. Today 3 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house. At the end of my post you’ll find links to this month’s other participants’ posts.

PurDude was here over Thanksgiving. I was showing him pictures of a few desserts I've made that he might like to try. He thought he'd love the French Toast Pumpkin Pie.

 

Me: The edges get really crispy, you have to drizzle them with maple syrup, right?

Hubs: Yes, they get very crispy, like hard as a board.

Me: Well that really wasn't necessary. 

Hubs: I mean it's delicious . . .

Me: Yeah, don't even bother.

Hubs: How do I get out of this?

PurDude: Stop talking before you ruin my chances of trying that pie.

College Boy: Yeah, dad, let them eat pie. 

 

How wrong did that conversation go? Let me count the ways . . . 

 

 

From the "shop at your own risk" files: 

I had been shopping online, looking really, here and there, not for anything specific. Somehow I ended up looking at candy for a recipe, and then . . . well . . . this came up:

Umm, no thanks.

 

Speaking of Walmart, I just want to say, I have no idea what this is. Self assist?

And listen, if you do know what kind of self assistance this thing provides? Please, for the love of all that's holy, keep it to yourself.

 

 

 

Moral of the story (again): shop at your own risk.

 

 

This one I didn't even find myself, it found me, in my Facebook feed.

I have to admit, I had no idea dogs were into S&M.

And I'm not sure that's information I ever needed to know.

One morning last week, Hubs was in the kitchen and I was in the den on my laptop.

 

Hubs: I wish . . .

Me(looking up): You wish what?

Hubs: Nothing.

Me: Nothing, you have one wish, what do you want?

Hubs: Well, I was going to say more cream cheese.

Me (giving him a withering stare): You have one wish, and you're wishing for cream cheese?
Hubs (looking a bit sheepish): Fine, world peace and more cream cheese.

 

Jalapeno Popper Rollups

A friend was at the house when Hubs came home. He handed me a Powerball ticket and told me he'd played my numbers for me because Powerball was up in the hundred millions.

 

Liz: He bought you a Powerball ticket, how sweet.

Me: Sweet? Yes and no.

Liz: Yes, and no?

Me: Well, he thinks I'm going to share if I win.

Liz: Aren't you?
Me: Yes and no.

I had finally gone through the file I keep for our medical bills. It was stuffed and nothing else would fit in it. Probably because I hadn't cleaned out the file since 2016.

I pulled out all of the old bills that we didn't need, it was about a 3 inch stack. I took the stack into our office to start shredding. It's just a home shredder, so I knew it would take many different shredding sessions to get through them all.

Even being careful, at one point the shredder stopped working. I told Hubs I thought I broke it, but he figured out that the cord was just loose. But he was worried I'd try to do too much at once so he decided to do it himself. I sat down with a book.

 

Me: Don't do more than a few pages at a time.

Hubs: I won't.

Me: And do some, then stop so it doesn't burn out.

Hubs: I will.

Me: That's too much!

Hubs (exasperated): It was one page.

Me: It didn't sound like one, you're going to burn it out.

Hubs (more exasperated): It was a thick paper. Go read something.

Me: I just finished my book.

Hubs: Go write something.

Me: I don't have anything to write.

Hubs (really, really exasperated): Go buy something.

Me (running from the room): I can do that.

 

Later:

 

Hubs: So . . . what's the damage . . .

Me: Don't you have some papers to shred? 

I have a question, maybe one of you can answer this for me. 

 

If your husband walks by, sort of singing under his breath, and you catch a few words, Sir Mix-A-Lot's "I like big butts and I cannot lie," should you be questioning his fidelity? Or be insulted?

 

Got up one morning, came, quietly, downstairs, to peek into the kitchen.

 

Hubs (who'd caught a glimpse of me: What are you doing?
Me: Just checking.

Hubs: Checking what?

Me: Your face. 

Hubs: My face?

Me: Well, I wanted to just be sure you're OK.

Hubs: Why wouldn't I be OK?

Me: I woke up with a bruised knuckle.

Hubs: And?

Me: Just checking to be sure your face wasn't what I bruised my knuckle on.

 

 

 

 

Apparently it wasn't. Good thing, that meant I was safe to go into the kitchen, which is necessary since that's where we keep the coffee.

 

As to what I could have cut my knuckle on in the middle of the night? Still a mystery.

 

 

Sometimes it's fun having kids who get their sarcastic sense of humor from you. Other times, not so much.

Me: I'm going to head upstairs and read before I go to sleep.

College Boy: Mom?
Me: Yeah?
College Boy: I hope you sleep better than you look.

Somehow he found that much funnier than I did.

 

 

 

Now click on the links below for a peek into some other homes:

Menopausal Mother 

The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver

Jalapeno Popper Rollups 

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Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 tube refrigerated crescent dough

3 oz cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup shredded sharp cheddar

1 small jalapeno pepper, stem removed, seeded, and finely chopped

1 TBSP canned chopped jalapenos

1 TBSP bacon bits

Directions:

*Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place a piece of parchment paper onto a baking sheet and roll out the dough onto the parchment paper.

*Mix together the softened cream cheese, shredded cheddar, fresh jalapeno, chopped jalapenos and bacon bits. Carefully spread onto the crescent dough, leaving about 1/8 inch border on all sides.

*Roll up, using the long side of the dough. Slice into about 16 approximately 3/4 to 1 inch rounds. Separate them onto the parchment paper, turning them so they lay flat. Gently press down with the palm of your hand.
*Bake for about 15 minutes, until the sides are browning and the tops are hot.