Sarcasm is Dead. Long Live Delusion.

 

 

 

Sarcasm is dead. And I, for one, am in mourning.

Yes, sarcasm, that biting, witty, humorous use of irony in speech has officially been rendered mute. Now isn't that ironic?

This is a big deal. Sarcasm has probably saved my life, has most definitely saved the lives of those around me. It's my coping mechanism of choice, most likely always has been, but at the very least since birth (my kids, not mine). But now, if I can't even maintain (yeah, I said maintain, fight me) sanity (OK, and find joy) in making others look foolish, what do I have left {{sob}}?

 

Here's the thing about sarcasm, it depends on the absurd being . . . you know . . . absurd. But at this moment in history, reality is not real, rationalism is not rational. How can you parody truth when there is no truth? Truth is now lies and lies are now truth. Your time has come kids, every day is opposite day. Delusion reigns supreme.

And don't you dare "keep calm and blah, blah, blah" me, the sky is falling, dammit. The pigs have taken wing.

If only closed minds came with closed mouths, but no such luck. It's trump's delusion and we're all living in it.

So the next time your kids ask you to get out of your sick bed at 6:00 in the morning to make them cookie bars because they ate all of the cupcakes for breakfast, here's what you can't say:

French Vanilla Cookie Bars (Halloween decorated)

Sure, I'll do that when . . .

a moron convinces half the country that he's a stable genius. 

or 

the "president" of the United States tells people to vote twice. 

or

the Attorney General says that he doesn't know the voting laws. 

or 

we rip babies from their moms and put them is cages. 

or   

wind farms cause cancer. 

or    

we recommend shooting up Lysol.   

or

the US "president" says he's fallen in love with a brutal North Korean dictator.

or    

the White House press secretary addresses the press without a mask, after many of her colleagues have been diagnosed with a deadly virus.   

or   

the "president" puts Secret Service in jeopardy because, like a selfish toddler, he wants to go for a car ride while he's infectious. 

 

If you thought the possibility of bird poop landing on your shoulder was bad, put on your helmet and check in with air traffic control my friends, because the swine are officially airborne. I repeat: the swine are airborne.

There's nothing left for us to do. Sarcasm is dead, the peaceful transfer of power is required. Long live delusion.

VOTE.

French Vanilla Cookie Bars (Halloween decorated)        

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 package sugar cookie mix
1 package French Vanilla pudding mix
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 TBSP French Vanilla creamer
2 eggs
OPT: 2 drops of red food coloring and 2 drops of yellow food coloring
1/4 cup multicolored sprinkles

OPT: decorating gel and/or holiday sprinkles to embellish

Directions:
*Grease an 8 X 11 baking pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
*Mix together the sugar cookie mix, pudding mix, butter, creamer, eggs, and food coloring (if using). Fold in the multicolored sprinkles.
*Spread evenly into the prepared baking pan. Bake for about 30 minutes until the edges start to brown and the center is set.
*Cool completely. Decorate as desired.

Taking Orange Back

It's October. Yeah, yeah, you know. 

Did you also know it's officially Halloween month? Calendar got you thinking Halloween's a day? Nope. Stores got you thinking it's 2 months? Nope. Food bloggers got you thinking it's 3 months? Nope. It's one month, and this is it.

I've always said on this blog that I wouldn't be publishing Halloween recipes or posts in any month but October, but once we hit October, all bets are off. In past years, many of my posts in this month were Halloween themed, and so were the recipes. This year things are going to be a little different, to some degree because of what's been going on all around us, but especially in this country, but also because of my personal circumstances. 

Unless you've been living under a rock (and even if you have been) you know that we all have to make unique decisions this year. Do we allow our kids to go door to door talking to and taking candy from so many people? Do we open our doors and hand out candy?

Good news: it's the one day in the past 7 months that no one should be selfishly screaming that wearing masks usurp their right to infect the innocent.
Bad news: what are the odds that we'll be opening our doors to an innocent covid carriers? 

But slow down, slow down, when it comes to Halloween, first things first. We've got some business to take care of. The month of All Hallows Eve has had its iconic color usurped, and we must stake our claim.

Yes, the color orange has been hijacked. Ironically, by a demon.

Orange has had its . . . associations . . . focused elsewhere of late:

Cheeto Benito, Orange Julius, Agent Orange, Carrot Catastrophe, Tangerine Tornado (hey, I resent that one), Tangerine Tyrant, Petulant Pumpkin, Mango Mussolini, Peach Plutocrat, Nectarine Nero, we've heard them all. 


But you're just going to have to back off, orange one, we're taking our color back. For the month of October anyway. You can start painting your face again in November.

That little bit of business done, I want to talk about my October plans this year. Most of my posts won't be Halloween oriented and not all of my recipes will be either. The joy of Halloween for me has always been in the faces of the children, the looks of awe when I present them Bloody Fingers for lunch or a Witch's Caldron Giant Cookie snack is priceless. I don't have any little ones around any more, and I really don't have my older kids (and favorite recipe taste testers) around much either. So although I'll stick to my publishing schedule, there will be few Halloween based posts and way less Halloween themed recipes. 

That doesn't mean that I don't have them to share, though. My last round up was called Halloween: 35 Baking In A Tornado recipes, and if you click on that link you're bound to find something fun. 

For Fall and pumpkin themed recipes that are not necessarily for Halloween, my Fall Harvest Crack is as addicting as . . . crack, and my Pumpkin Boston Cream Poke Cake is . . . wait for it . . . to die for. All of my recipes can be found on my Recipe Box page, and there are sections specifically for Halloween Treats and Halloween Savory.

For today's recipe, let me just say that the older I get, the more I see the value of easing into things. So for this, my first Covid October post, I'm sharing a side dish (which I actually eat as a meal) that's orange, but doesn't scream Halloween. In fact, this would be a great side dish for Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or really, any day. It comes together quickly, cooking the components in the microwave, and it features the sweet of the potato, a little bite from the parmesan, smokiness from the cumin, topped with salty bacon bits. Win, win, win, win.

Stuffed Maple Parmesan Sweet Potatoes

But, spoiler alert, for the recipe included in my next post, you're getting bats! 

Stuffed Maple Parmesan Sweet Potatoes      

                                                       ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
4 sweet potatoes
1/3 cup Parmesan ranch salad dressing
2 TBSP maple syrup
1 TBSP honey
1/2 tsp cumin
salt and pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups broccoli florets 
1/4 cup bacon bits

Directions:
*Rinse, dry and pierce sweet potatoes with a fork. Cook in either the microwave or oven until soft all the way through to the center when pierced with a fork. Set aside.
*Cook the broccoli florets for about 2 minutes in the microwave, until soft but not mushy. Set aside.
*Whisk together the salad dressing, maple syrup, honey and cumin in a bowl. Remove 1/4 cup and set aside.
*Slice open the sweet potatoes and, leaving about 1/4 inch of the flesh on the skin, scoop the center flesh into the bowl with the sauce and whisk together, then spoon back into the sweet potatoes.
*Top the sweet potatoes with broccoli, drizzle with the remaining sauce, and sprinkle with bacon bits.

Easy Does It, Work In Progress

My grandfather ( ליה השלום ) had a favorite saying. It was "easy does it."

Or maybe that was just his most used saying around me. I've always tended to be a bull in a china shop kinda girl.

But his point, better understood with maturity, has come to be not just about patience but a life lesson about mitigation, tempering the absolute.

Much of what I've tried to teach my boys, to model for them in my life, may not be what's expected. I don't swallow memes whole and spit them back out. Even absolutes like "don't hate." What they choose to internalize and what they choose to reject is, at this point, up to them, but my hope is that for them it's a process, it certainly has, and continues to be, for me. 

Lessons learning, as opposed to learned because we are, after all, a work in progress:


1) Don't scorn anyone who has not personally given you a reason:

~ Conversely, it's OK to dislike someone who has earned it. Hate is a sharp word, but let's not pretend it's wrong to use your experiences and your judgement to decide who belongs in your life and who does not. Taking a step back from what's harmful or hurtful, not being a doormat in a relationship that isn't symbiotic is actually a way to value yourself.

~ Confrontation isn't the best strategy here, avoidance it.

2) People change, have the grace to give them a second chance, but it's perfectly acceptable that you require they earn it.

~ Just as it's not in our best interest to be in toxic situations or have hurtful people in our lives, we also need to leave that door open just a crack. I've certainly needed to be afforded that opportunity.

Egalitarianism, I've come to realize, requires tipping the scales in order to balance them. I often responded to "Black Lives Matter" with "All Lives Matter." It came from a good place but many may not have heard it the way I meant it. They may have felt that I wasn't someone they wanted in their inner circle. College Boy helped me to understand how an answer I thought was all inclusive was actually insensitive. I hope that anyone I offended will give me another chance. The response to "all lives matter" that I've been seeing that resonates with me is "all lives can't matter until black lives matter." Well said.

I also want to address "Blue Lives Matter." Yes, they do. But Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter have become a tug of war, taken on the inference that there's a need for one side to win and the other to lose. This serves no one.

Although I believe there needs to be a systemic change in police training to focus on "protect and serve," the deficits in the training with which our police force is currently equipped does not make all police bad people. Chances are, if they are bad people after police training, they were bad peole before training. Part of the systemic change also needs to be in higher standards in terms of character, weeding out those who might have a propensity to abuse power. The response to the current crisis in policing that I've been seeing that speaks to my point of view is "we train them to be military, then send them out to be social workers." Well said.

And to the preponderance of law enforcement officers who are decent people, making a difference, keeping us safe sometimes at the risk of their own lives, if you are made to feel unappreciated, please give us all another chance. Growth and change are not a judgement but a necessity in every profession.

3) Find a way to include without excluding.
~This can often be a challenging balance. I am in and run some FB groups out of necessity. With FB's self serving monetary-based "algorithms" blocking the majority of my friends and followers from seeing my posts, it was the only way to have the people who participate in the blogging challenges I run actually be assured to see timely announcements. Originally, though, I resisted groups. When people asked me to join theirs, I declined. It seemed to me that by including only people invited, it was also serving to exclude the people who were not. I acknowledge that some groups are a more efficient way to connect people with similar interests, but I still believe that if the original concept of FB hadn't become bastardized, forcing many of us to break off and insulate, if people could still freely see the posts of the people they've friended and the pages they took the time to like, there wouldn't be as much need for including at the price of excluding.

4) Keep what you need, give what you don't, share what you can.

~ Keep what you need: I don't believe in "give till it hurts". It's a worthy sentiment and there are people able to, even compelled to, live that way. Although I commend them, I also acknowledge that it's not for everyone. I think for some of us, were we to give till it hurts, we'd burn out. For most of us, we can best care for others if our own needs (and even some of our wants) are met. Keep what we need, that's a given.  

~ Give what you don't: There are certain things we associate with giving, like outgrown clothes and replaced appliances. There's so much more that we can do, though. Being more conscious of what we may waste, items we haven't used in too long, or, most importantly what we do with our time, all of these are opportunities. Look for them.

~ Share what you can: I always include recipes in my posts and you know I'm going to work it in here somewhere. Food is love and both food and love are easy to share. Donating to food banks has increased in importance since Covid interrupted our lives. Paying it forward in a take-out line is a fun trend that has emotional value. I've talked before about taking dinner to a family whose house flooded, about baking for the Wee Care volunteers. Food is sustenance for the body. Sharing is sustenance for the soul.

Blueberry Breakfast Bundt

~ Share what you can isn't just objects. I donate blood, I'm in the bone marrow registry, and I'm registered as an organ donor. 

Easy does it. Mitigate the absolute. Value others. Take care of you. ❤ 

Blueberry Breakfast Bundt

                                                         ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups frozen blueberries
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tube (8 count) refrigerated butter flavored biscuits
1 TBSP butter

1 TBSP powdered sugar

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease a bundt pan.
*Place the frozen blueberries in a colander and run under cold water for one minute, allowing to drain into the sink. They will be partially frozen.
*Place the blueberries onto paper towels and pat the excess water off of them.
*Mix together the brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Place the blueberries in a bowl with about half of this mixture, toss together, then spread evenly into the bottom of the bundt pan.
*Take the top layers off of the biscuits and arrange, overlapping slightly, over the blueberries. Sprinkle with about 2 TBSP of the brown sugar mixture, then top with the remaining biscuit halves.
*Melt the butter and mix with the remaining brown sugar mixture. Drizzle into the pan.
*Bake for 20 minutes. Allow to sit for 15 minutes in the pan. Run a knife around the edges, place a dish on the bundt pan and flip over. Place another dish on top and flip again, so the blueberries are on the bottom. 
*Serve sprinkled with powdered sugar.