Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Friendship, Debt and the Self-Preservation Clause

There are songs, poems, stories, memes, cliches and sayings about the value of friendship, so I don't have to tell you about all of the benefits. But you know what? It's not all sweetness and light and unquestioning support. There, I said it. Sometimes the relationship is difficult, sometimes strained, and sometimes . . . well, sometimes friendship is a battle of wills, a negotiation.

Sometimes it's a negotiation: Friendship, Debt and the Self-Preservation Clause | www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #friendship

Lynne: No.
Me: No?
Lynne: Hell no.
Me: What do you mean?
Lynne: I mean I'm not doing it.
Me: But you owe me.
Lynne: Owe you?
Me: Remember last month when I . . .
Lynne: (interrupting): Yeah, I know, and I thanked you a million times but . . .
Me (interrupting): But?
Lynne: But "I owe you", that's just something people say.
Me: No it's not.
Lynne: Yes, it is.
Me: No it's not, it's a debt. And I'm calling it in.
Lynne: It's not a debt, it's just an expression of gratitude.
Me: Well, if you're grateful, you return the favor.
Lynne: There are limits.
Me: Limits?
Lynne: Some things shouldn't be done. 
Me: I know. And maybe this is one of them.
Lynne: Not sure I want to find out the hard way. 
Me: Really? Even for a friend. One you owe . . .Lynne: I thought we already settled that debt thing.
Me: Fine, no debt. But we're good friends, friends do things for each other. Like last month when I . . .
Lynne (interrupting): Friends do things for each other, but not anything. Not something that will be too difficult for them to handle. There are risks. And repercussions.
Me: Risk? Repercussions?
Lynne: Yes, repercussions. I mean, I'd then have to go on with my day as if nothing happened.
Me: Seriously? Do I say "no" to you?
Lynne: Have I ever put you at physical risk?
Me: Probably.
Lynne: We're friends so you know that in some dire situations, you just have to say "no".
Me: You're invoking the self-preservation clause?
Lynne: No, as someone who cares about you, it's my responsibility to deter you from something that could be traumatic.
Me: I know but . . .
Lynne (interrupting): Ask me something else. I know, I can save you shopping, time and energy and make the snack for you for our book group on Friday? I'll even make your recipe. How about those Raspberry Sunflower Seed Oat Muffins? 
Raspberry Sunflower Seed Oat Muffins, bursting with fresh flavors, a delicious way to start your day. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #bake

Raspberry Sunflower Seed Oat Muffins
Raspberry Sunflower Seed Oat Muffins, bursting with fresh flavors, a delicious way to start your day. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #bake

Me: Oh, cool, you can do that too.
Lynne: Too?
Me: Well, since you're volunteering and all . . .
Lynne: I'm volunteering to help you out in place of your putting me in peril.
Me: So now this is a negotiation? You're going to repay me by doing what's easier for you instead of what I need?
Lynne: Need? You don't need . . .
Me (interrupting): Well, yes. I need your support. We both know this is something I can't do alone, I wouldn't do alone.
Lynne: Fine, you shamed me into it, I'll do it.
Me: You'll do it? 
Lynne: Under duress. And against my better judgement.
Me: I don't know. Now you made me feel bad. What if you're not able to make it through the rest of your day . . .
Lynne: I won't be alone. I don't think you will either. And it will serve you right. 
Me: Well, if it's too painful we can decide to never do it again.
Lynne: Fine. We'll jog at dawn. 
Me: Thanks. I owe you.

I'm not sure which was more difficult, getting up at dawn, or actually running for 2 miles. But she was right, neither one of us was walking well for the rest of the day. Guess we'll put that in the "never again" column.

And I don't really owe her, right? I mean, that's just something people say . . .

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Raspberry Sunflower Seed Oat Muffins        

Printable Recipe

1 cup quick oats 
1/4 cup shelled sunflower seeds
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup Greek yogurt
1 egg
2 tsp lemon extract
1/2 cup fresh raspberries, quartered 

1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 TBSP lemon juice
1 TBSP water
2 TBSP sunflower seeds

*Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Insert muffin paper cups into 12 muffin tins and gently spray the interiors of the paper cups.
*Mix together the oats, 1/4 cup of sunflower seeds, flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Whisk together the milk, yogurt, egg and lemon extract, then mix in just until incorporated.
*Fold in the raspberries. Divide the batter into the prepared muffin tins.
*Bake for 20 minutes or until the center springs back to the touch. Cool completely.
*Mix together the powdered sugar, lemon juice and water. Spoon over the cooled muffins. Sprinkle with the remaining sunflower seeds.


  1. I would have said no but not as nicely more like 'Hell No, are you Crazy, Absolutely No'!

  2. Saying no doesn't come easy for me but I am getting better at saying no, I also now want a muffin they look so nice

  3. Lynne should have stuck to her guns. I love ya but nope, no jogging at any time. Sorry

    1. We both would have been better off if Lynne had stuck to her guns!


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