Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Poetry Wars

I hadn't set out to do it, the day I broke one of the most basic rules of the sorority of sisterhood: do not play with another woman's husband.

Does it matter that she was there, laughing (out loud, literally) as she watched the whole affair unfold? I'll leave that to you to decide.

In fact, it started like any other lazy Sunday in late September. My boys would both be at dinner that night and I had a new experimental recipe on my mind, one to celebrate the upcoming official beginning of Halloween month October.




Pecan Crusted Chicken with Pumpkin Thyme Sauce, a Fall dinner of crispy baked chicken served with a savory seasonal sauce. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #dinner

Pecan Crusted Chicken with Pumpkin Thyme Sauce

I decided to take a peek at facebook and that's where it all began.

"Wait", you're thinking, "it's October. You're supposed to post something Halloweeny, something creepy, something scary. What are you doing posting a confession?"

Creepy? Scary? I'm getting there. Bear with me.

Because what I saw on Facebook, the thing that precipitated this whole involvement? Well let me tell you friends, it was mighty scary.

My friend's husband had posted a picture. One, sadly, I cannot un-see. Now I can describe the picture, but it's best, if you want to truly understand how this all proceeded, that you see it yourself. Click HERE. Go ahead, I'll wait right here.

Did you see it? Guy standing in traffic with his bicycle and wearing a thong. Yes, just a thong. Well, a headband on top and socks and sneakers on the bottom but covering the whole rather voluminous middle? Just a thong.

See? I promised you scary.

Now I could have just laughed and moved on. Probably should have just laughed and moved on, but it turns out that not only had he shared the picture, but below it, Darrell (who is an author, btw, you can buy his book HERE) posted a poem:



He wore a thong outside that day,
he wore it to the beach.
When he walked in front of me,
his butt looked like a peach.
  
Many of you Most of you All of you normal people would still have laughed and moved on. But we all know I'm not a card carrying member of the "normal people" subset. Where yo might see a funny poem, I see a challenge. So I responded:

He wore a thong outside that day, 
he wore it to the beach.
When he walked in front of me, 
I couldn't help but screech.

He wore a thong outside that day,
it seems with no rebuke.
When he walked in front of me, 
I couldn't help but puke.

Poetry Wars, a war of words | Graphic property of www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #funny

Now had it ended there we would not be talking about my transgressions. But it seems Darrell and I agree on one thing, a challenge is a challenge. His turn:

His wife joined him in a thong also, 
I had to tell this tale.
His wife came with an ass my friends,
that was bigger than a whale.

Although I'd already broken one cardinal rule of sisterhood, there's a line and making fun of a woman's butt was not a place where I was going (either that or it just hit too close to home, one or the other). So although I did respond, I kept my eye on the prize (so to speak):

His wife saw him in a thong that day, 
and had to tell this tale,
"Didn't realize, in the light of day,
his butt was quite that pale."

But Darrell was not to be diverted:

He saw his wife in a thong that day,
he'd known that she was large.
He didn't know when he went to bed
he'd been sleeping with a barge.

Maybe he should have been diverted because it seems we'd gone too far. Duh, duh, daaaaa, the wife interjected:

This poem is fiction. My butt is not a barge. But . . . his is pale.

To which I had one final verbal tryst, a warning of sorts to my partner in crime:

When writing poems publicly, 
be clear of whom you don't speak.
Or I'm afraid your sleeping arrangements,
for tonight may be quite bleak. 

And from Darrell to his wife:

I was NOT talking about you!!!

Smart guy. Clearly wants to stay married.

PS: Thanks to Dawn and Darrell for a fun Sunday. And for giving me permission to share this story here on the blog.

PPS: Stay tuned, Poetry Wars, the Sequel (yes, there's a part two) is coming up on this blog next week.



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Pecan Crusted Chicken with Pumpkin Thyme Sauce
                                                              ©www.BakingInATornado.com


Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts
3/4 cup flour
1 egg beaten with 3 TBSP water
1 stack (about 30 crackers) Ritz crackers
1 cup pecan pieces
1/2 stick butter, melted

1 cup chicken broth
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
1/3 cup orange preserves
1/4 tsp dried thyme
dash of nutmeg 

Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 casserole dish.
*Place the crackers and pecan pieces in a food processor to crush, then place on a plate.
*Cut each chicken breast into equal size pieces. I usually get 3 pieces per breast. You may choose to pound the chicken a little first to make the pieces more unified in thickness.
*Dip each chicken piece in flour, then in the egg wash, then press all sides into the pecan mix to coat.
*Place chicken pieces into casserole dish, drizzle the melted butter over the top.
*Bake for 45 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked and the crust is browned.

*Just before the chicken is ready, whisk together the chicken broth, minced garlic, pumpkin, preserves, thyme and nutmeg in a small pot. Heat to boiling over medium high heat and boil, whisking, for 2 minutes. Serve beside or drizzled over the chicken.

10 comments:

  1. Good poetry, made me laugh but lines were crossed, double crossed and an attempt at redaction! We have here the annual naked bike ride which is huge and unsettling if you happen to be out. Also there seems to be a trend of naked hikers. I came across some last summer but luckily not this summer. So setting the bar so low, a thong is an upgrade.I like the chicken recipe too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yikes, what is it with all of this public nakedness?

      Delete
  2. Bwahahahaha! I LOVE poetry wars!
    I'm so envious! I never have anything like this happen to me . . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for sharing and giving me my daily dose of laughter!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I live such a dull, boring life. Oh man...now you give me a challenge as to how to Weight Watcherize that recipe. I am not a pumpkin lover, but something about this is calling to me. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The recipe is not overly pumpkiny, if that helps.

      Delete
  5. If he was young and hot it would be not so bad but young hot men don't wear thongs in public and of course when I read it was a man in a thong I h ad an Aussie moment and thought he was naked wearing only a pair of thongs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, ha, that's the only thing I can think of that would have been worse.

      Delete

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