News Flash: Did the dish run away with the spoon? Or did something more nefarious happen? It's true that the case of the missing dish and spoon has not been solved. In fact, despite that it's rumored that a grand jury would indict a ham sandwich, there remains only colloquial testimony, so no such panel has been convened.
There is a new case though, one that may be solvable, albeit without nursery rhyme testimony.
There is a developing circumstantial case that could be made that the forks ran away with the socks.
Now, you know I love mysteries, read them all the time. If I were to write one about this case, I'd start with the facts, add in the word on the street, put together the clues, and follow the leads. Where does it all take me? Socks, although we all say that our dryer eats one of each pair, and I suppose, as theories go, it bears investigation, I have come to believe something very different. I think that they just aren't necessarily happy with the mate they've been assigned.
I can't really say as I blame them, I'm someone who believes in free choice. In fact, I know that we all have been guaranteed the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness by the constitution, which specifically states that governments are created to protect those rights.
So how about this? Rather than having been eaten by a machine, perhaps those missing socks did just that, made a choice. Fell in love with someonething different. Chose a life of mixed marriage far away from those trying to force them into a relationship with "one of their own."
That's my theory of the case. Here are the facts, as we know them:
Single socks disappear. Not temporarily, but permanently. Although the dryer is a good suspect, there are a few things that don't make sense: how can it so consistently choose just one of a pair? And how is it disposing of them without so much as a thread left behind? Would there not be some evidence at some point.
Forks are also disappearing. Simultaneously. Not knives or spoons. Most of us have 12 of each: dinner forks, dessert forks, knives, small spoons, soup spoons. I noticed, months ago, that the fork section of the silverware drawer was looking light. I didn't give it much thought, though, as some could be in the dishwasher, or dirty in the fridge (don't ask).
But I was able to deduce, one evening as I was finishing up emptying the dishwasher, that I actually didn't have all of my forks. Not even close. Checking, I noted that there were none sitting in the watermelon container in fridge either.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, I only have 7 forks. Strange. Even stranger is that now, about a month later, I have 6.
And don't tell me the dishwasher is eating the forks. One voracious appliance is hard enough to believe, there can't possibly be two rogue cannibal mastermind machines.
No, single socks are missing and so are dinner forks. Coincidence?
You know what one of the most frequent things I consistently hear from detectives in all of those true crime stories I watch? "I don't believe in coincidences."
Yeah, me neither. So here's my working theory, one I've not yet been able to disprove: the forks and the socks, unhappy with their mates and unable to conform to societal pressure, have gone off to be their genuine selves. Yes, together.
Let me ask you a favor because, if I'm right, this was a difficult and painful choice. These socks know they've left a mate behind, fated to either be discarded or matched with a clashing mate. So, if you happen to see a sock, gaily cavorting with a stainless steel fork, please do not approach them. Leave them to the life they've chosen, the life they felt they had to sacrifice everything for.
But, if it's safe, if you can do it covertly, take a picture. Or, if not, just call in the tip, I'll close out the file and move on.
After all, there's still the case of the missing dinner to solve. And I fear it may have met quite a different fate, one harder to digest, from that of the socks and the forks.
Grilled Blackberry Pork Medallions
Grilled Blackberry Pork Medallions
©www.BakingInATornado.com
2 # pork tenderloin
salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder
6 oz fresh blackberries
1 1/2 cups barbecue sauce
3 TBSP blackberry jam
1 TBSP lime juice
Directions:
*Sprinkle
all sides of the pork tenderloin with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and
onion powder. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate.
*Reserve
a few blackberries for garnish, then to a sauce pan, over medium high
heat, add the barbecue sauce, remaining blackberries, blackberry jam,
and lime juice. Bring to a boil, whisking now and then, reduce the heat
to medium and continue to cook and whisk for 5 minutes. Remove from the
heat for 5 minutes, then carefully press through a sieve over a bowl,
and discard the seeds.
*Reserve
and refrigerate approximately 2/3 cup of the sauce for serving with the
meal. Allow the rest of the sauce to cool completely.
*While
the sauce is cooling, remove the tenderloin from the plastic wrap and
slice into about 3/4 inch thick medallions, and place in the
refrigerator in a gallon sized sealable plastic bag. Once the sauce has
cooled, add it to the bag with the pork, making sure all of the slices
are covered, both sides. Seal and refrigerate for 3 - 4 hours, turning
now and then.
*Preheat
the grill to medium. Place the chops on the grill and reduce the heat
to medium low. Discard the rest of the sauce that has been in the bag
with the pork.
*Cook for 6 minutes. Flip the chops over and cook for about 6 - 8 more minutes.
*NOTE:
how long these will take to grill will depend on the thickness of your
medallions and how you like them cooked. At the least, pork should be
cooked to 145 degrees.
*Serve with the reserved dipping barbecue sauce and garnish with the reserved blackberries.
