Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Red Light, Green Light for the Holidays

This time of year should have rules, don't you think? You know, "do"s and "don't"s, for the sake of sanity. And humanity. I actually wrote out some guidelines years ago specifically for shoppers. Those times when you're out of the house and among other desperate shoppers. And my The Rules of Holiday Shopping still hold true, you should check them out whether for the first time or as a reminder.

But the holiday season, this whole time of year in general, requires some degree of regulation. Boundaries, if you will (and even if you won't). And if no one else will say it, you know I will. Ever play "red light, green light" when you were a child? Here's an adult version, red light green light for the holidays.

Holiday Do and Holiday Don’t. This time of year should have rules, don't you think? | Graphic property of www.BakingInATornado.com | #holiday #humor

*Red light: if we barely know each other, ask when it's convenient to exchange gifts, forcing me to drop everything, race out and find something for you. Rule #1, if we never exchanged gifts before, we never will. No exceptions.
     Green light: if we barely know each other and you enjoy giving, don't let me ruin your fun. Just be sure you do it anonymously. Gently place a bottle of booze (any kind, your choice) in my front door, ring the bell and run like the wind. 
*Red light: talk to me in the grocery store. This time of year if I'm there I'm on a mission, get in, grab stuff, get out. No dilly dallying, no small talk, no diversions.
     Green light: smile and wave as you pass me in the aisle. I'm busy, not barbaric. 

*Red light: ask me to host a cookie exchange at this point. My answer will be "sure, what year?".
     Green light: host one yourself if you have the time. I'll bake, and I'll attend (yours and about 6 others). Well, I'll probably be late but I'll be there. I can even bring a dish to share (Creamy Noodles with Bacon OK?) and help you with clean-up. But hosting? No can do at this point, my calendar overflowith. We can book now for next year, though.

Creamy Noodles with Bacon is a side dish easy to make but packed with big creamy flavor. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe #pasta

Creamy Noodles with Bacon

*Red light: have a birthday this time of year (says the woman whose son's birthday is this week). Just don't. Sorry, but this is not the time. If you have a birthday between Nov 1st and Jan 15th, we just can't be friends.
      Green light: save our friendship, tell me your birthday's in July. It's really a bonus for you, another time of year for receiving gifts.

*Red light: ask me what "my true love gave to me" on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th 11th or 12th day of Christmas, I don't know. Not just because I'm Jewish either, no one knows all the words to that song. A partridge in a pear tree is all I know, and something about drummers drumming (what else would they be doing?). Why does someone ask me about the words to that song at least once every single holiday season?
     Green light: explain what the partridge is doing in a pear tree. Really. I want to know.

*Red light: carol if you can't sing.
     Green light: there is no green light, don't carol if you can't sing. If you can't hold a tune, get out of the kitchen. Or let me get back to mine.

*Red light: invite me to a mystery gift swap. Let me just tell you now that there is not a single item anywhere that you can purchase for the price limit that anyone would want. 
     Green light: you want to have a party, I'm there, I'll eat your food and I'll drink your booze and I'll talk to your friends. But for all that is holy, don't make me sit in a group as an adult trying to pretend I actually wanted a slinky.

Red light: don't forget to make time for whatever relieves stress for you. Green light: do have a happy holiday season.

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Creamy Noodles with Bacon        

Printable Recipe

8 oz wide noodles cooked al dente
4 slices bacon
1 green onion, chopped 
2 TBSP flour
1 TBSP tomato paste
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup shaved parmesan 

*In a large saute pan over medium heat, cook the bacon. Remove, drain and set aside. 
*Add the green onion and flour to the pan. Cook and stir for 2 minutes until thickened and the flour has cooked a little.
*Lower the heat to medium low and whisk the tomato paste, heavy cream, salt and pepper into the pan.
*Once smooth, chop the bacon and return to the pan with the cooked noodles. Stir gently and cook for 2 minutes, until the noodles are completely heated.
*Serve with shaved parmesan.


  1. The red light on NO lingering in the grocery store resonates with me. People are so busy, they really do want to get in, grab stuff and get out! Good luck with that. Everyone's carts are full to the brim, and there is one ( maybe 2) cashiers. When you finally make it out, the parking lot is so crowded you can barely make it to your car! My solution: shop early SUNDAY morning when everyone is still sleeping! That does the trick for me. I go in, grab what I need and get out! :-)

    1. Yes, I've done that before too, the other good thing about that is that you get the items you need before they run out. The bad though is dragging myself out of bed and looking minimally presentable early on Sunday morning.

  2. As usual, hilariously dot on the mark!
    And my birthday's in October. Can we still be friends?!

  3. I like this game. An ornament exchange party, just won't be coming to that party either so red light but green light if anyone wants to go and have fun! My husband's work had a white elephant party, one time and it was fun, but not year after year for the love of God! No one wants that junk, really! Tree trimming parties, hell no. I went to one once and I felt it was just short of asking guests to be cleaning staff. Nope won't be fooled by that invite again. Big Red Light!! My opinion every thing really does taste better with bacon!

    1. Maybe we could have a bacon recipe party. Just not this time of year!

  4. Too late. In the week before Christmas is my birthday (and I'm Jewish, which meant complications I won't get into) my mother in laws and my sister in law's. And what if I told you my sister in law's name is Christine Carol? Really. Would I make this stuff up? Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

    1. I hear ya, my son's birthday is this week, my husband's often falls on Chanukah, my nephew's is Christmas eve and my brother's is Christmas day. I'm Jewish too but that doesn't make it any easier this time of year is just tough.

  5. Thanks for making me laugh, for me a big red light is having a Christmas party starting late in the day as I am no longer a night owl so have your party but don't get pissy because I will not be attending

  6. I'm drooling over the idea of creamy noodles with bacon and I'm Jewish too.

    1. Ha ha, interesting how many of my Jewish friends are bacon lovers.


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