Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Irk me Twice

I always say "Irk me once, shame on you. Irk me twice, shame on me". Well, I don't always say it but I'm saying it now. Sometimes you just gotta get a few things off your chest and, well, today's one of those days. So I've made a list of the top things that irk me. I wouldn't be surprised if you see something that hits close to home for you too.

Irk me once, shame on you. Irk me twice, shame on me. | Graphic designed by and property of www.BakingInATornado.com | #humor #life

~ All drivers. Yes, all of them. And I give them all a piece of my mind, in the privacy of my own car. Like the ones doing 10 mph under the speed limit in the left lane to whom I advise "If you can't drive, stay home." Or the people (always the car in front of me) who don't move when the light turns green but give me the finger when I honk: "Yeah, give me the finger, then go back to kindergarten and learn your colors." 

~ I am the grammar police. I don't mind the newer, more relaxed and conversational way of writing, starting a sentence with "and" or "but", using colloquialisms, that kind of thing. But (see that?) I cannot read a story, post or meme (I even canceled my newspaper) if you can't spell, use an apostrophe, or if you put a comma after every third word just for the hell of it. It's just too distracting. You have something to say, now figure out how to say it. Please.

~ 7am lawn mowers. Why? Just . . . why? Were you not nurtured as a child?

~ People who think that rules not for them. At school pick up, there were 2 lanes between curbs. People waited in line for the right lane, which was where you picked up your kids once you reached the curb. You then you pulled out into the left lane to exit the school property. There were always people who decided that the line was not for them, drove up the left lane, then as someone was pulling out, shoved ahead of what should be the next car, always sticking partway out into the "drive away" lane. It always pissed me off. One day someone did that. I was at the head of the line and shot up the left lane and shoved in behind me, almost hitting my car. He was so close he couldn't pull out until I pulled forward. Well let me tell you, I let every single other car behind us get their kids, pull out and go by. Waved at them all while this guy honked at me, yelled at me, rolled his eyes. Nope, I wasn't moving. I think we were the last two to leave the school. And yes, I'm proud of myself.

Same thing with baking. Although I do believe in making small adjustments to a recipe to serve your tastes, if you have to change too much, chances are this recipe is not for you. A recipe, generally, is a rule. If you don't follow the rules, it may not come out. It's fine if you want to substitute lemon for lime, something like that, but it makes me crazy when someone says they tried my Blueberry Lime Bread but left out half the sugar (cutting back), only used the egg whites, skipped the baking powder cause they didn't have any and only baked it for 10 minutes because they had an appointment, then proceed to tell me that there must be something wrong with my recipe, it doesn't come out. Follow the rules, fool. Sheesh (rolling my eyes).

Light and refreshing, Blueberry Lime Bread features a subtle citrus flavor studded with the burst of fresh blueberries. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe

Blueberry Lime Bread
Light and refreshing, Blueberry Lime Bread features a subtle citrus flavor studded with the burst of fresh blueberries. | Recipe developed by www.BakingInATornado.com | #recipe

~ Waste. Even when I go to other people's houses I'll shut off lights in empty rooms. But my older son, he is the worst. He'll turn the TV and fan on in his room, turn the oven on in the kitchen, turn the light on in the basement, then go in the bathroom down there to take a 45 minute shower. Where were you raised anyway? Oh yeah.

~ Religion pushers. I am in the minority religiously and I feel that all the time. Religion serves a purpose in terms of behavior, setting moral parameters. But a lot of what we get from our religion is up to interpretation too. I have no problem with anyone living according to the tenets of their faith. I have every problem with the attitude that all must live according to their beliefs. If you want respect, be respectful.

~ Woodpeckers. Yes, this has become a big problem for me. They peck at the side of my house where the fireplace is, which reverberates through the house. Not only that, but they make holes in the damn siding. We just had to pay close to $1000 to have siding that looked like Swiss cheese pulled off the outside of our house and replaces. Apparently they make loud noises to attract mates, the louder ones get the cheerleaders or something, idk. Someone needs to teach these guys how to wolf whistle.

~ Strangers who call me Honey. It just comes off as so condescending. I always feel like I should tell them "Honey (get how I used that right back?), if you knew me, you'd know I aint nobody's (whoa, call the grammar police) Honey. Actually, I'm more like the bee".

What irks you?

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Blueberry Lime Bread        

Printable Recipe

1 cup blueberries
1 TBSP flour
6 TBSP butter, softened 
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
3 TBSP lime juice
1 tsp lime zest
1 container (6 oz) lime yogurt
1/4 cup sour cream
2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder

2 TBSP lime juice
1/2 cup powdered sugar

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a loaf pan.
*Rinse the blueberries and pat dry. Mix with the 1 TBSP flour.
*Cream the butter with the sugar. Beat in the eggs, 3 TBSP lime juice, lime zest, yogurt and sour cream.
*Mix in the flour, salt and baking powder, then finally gently fold in the blueberries.
*Spread into the loaf pan and bake for approximately 55 to 65 minutes, until the top springs back to the touch. Cool for 10 minutes in the loaf pan. Remove from the pan and cool completely.
*Wisk together the 2 TBSP lime juice with the powdered sugar. Drizzle over the bread.


  1. If I get 'Honey" by a male or female I call them Missy. Example; "Honey you are going to have to get another claim ticket". Me, "Listen to me Missy, I will not be getting any kind of another claim ticket , I have one here. " I suggest the "Missy" especially to males. My current irk is people driving fast in the neighborhood. The recipe looks great and I am shocked there is not an once of alcohol in the ingredient list!

  2. The other day someone used this analogy, "A recipe is just like directions. If you follow the directions you will arrive where you want to go." It really clicked with me. I made a "Hamburger Soup" last week that was out of this world. Now that it's me & hubby we eat out a lot but I have been making some new dishes, trying new things. But (see how I did that haha) I agree with every single one on your list. The wasting drives me crazy! Not so much on the road rage, but give me time I'm a new driver.

    1. I always make adjustments to recipes, but they have to make sense (item for item that you're switching), and you can't make too many. About the road rage thing, I'll check with you in a year.

  3. I change up soup and casserole recipes all the time. Baked goods require such precise measurements, though.

    1. Yes, those are things that can easily be substituted successfully. I do those kinds of things too.

  4. Bible bashers annoy me I have no problem with you walking around knocking on doors but if I say I am not interested don't harp on and try to make me feel bad

    1. Yes, and going even further, I don't even want them at my door. I feel so violated when someone thinks they have the right to bring their religion to my home.


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