Secret Subject Swap: Welcome to the Zoo

Welcome to the May Secret Subject Swap. This month 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. Read through mine and at the bottom you’ll find links to all of today’s other Secret Subject Swap participants.

My Subject is: You just inherited a zoo! Congratulations! Now what?
It was submitted by Stacy Sews and Schools.

"I have no idea how I got to this attorney’s office" I'm thinking to myself. "Well, I do know, I drove here, but I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know him, I don’t know any of these people sitting around this table wearing black and sniffling into tissues. I feel like an intruder."

And then I hear the attorney say my name. Followed by a bunch of words that make less sense than me being here in the first place.

Me: “Wait a second, what do you mean he left me a zoo? I already told you I didn’t even know him. I don’t know any of these people.”
Attorney Doughboy III: “Once again I ask, you are Ms. Tornado, right? First name Baking. Middle name Ina?”
Me: “Well yes, but at the very least you’ve read it wrong. A zoo? Are you sure he didn’t leave me a bakery? A cookie factory?”

Blue Raspberry Chocolate Chip Cookies

Attorney Doughboy III: “No, a zoo. The letters are Z then an O then another O. That still spells zoo, right?”

And that, my friends, is how I ended up in this situation. The proud owner of my very own zoo.

Now you’d think this would not faze me. I mean I have 2 boys a year apart. I survived the toddler years times two. I survived the pre-teen years times two and I’m plowing through the teenaged years. So I’ve been living in a zoo for some time now.

My own little animals, it turns out, are nothing like the kind I’d inherited. I mean yes, they’re as temperamental, certainly can growl as loud, eat their weight in beef, run in packs, don’t care where they leave their shit and are every bit as dangerous as the zoo kind. But mine have their moments when they’ll listen to reason. Doesn’t happen often, I admit, but it has before and it’s a distinct possibility that it could happen again.

A funny thing happens when we end up in situations we never planned for. And as I try to adjust to my new normal, learn how to care for my new charges, I find myself the recipient of a gift. It turns out there’s much that I can learn from these animals:

armadillo: when being attacked, you may get hurt if you fight back. Roll up in a ball and wait it out.

elephant: wrinkles can be beautiful.

giraffe: if your neck is the length of a football field, you don’t need plastic surgery, take advantage of the bounty no one else can reach.

goat: the less picky you are, the more you get.

lion: being the king is great, but it also makes you responsible for your subjects.

hippo: sometimes size matters.

kangaroo: pack light, ‘cause chances are you’ll be carrying your own baggage.

koala: it doesn’t hurt to just be your own cute self.

seal: playful is a great way to spend a day.

monkey: if you can’t beat ‘em, mimic ‘em.

sloth: if you’re never in a rush, no one will accuse you of getting old when you slow down.

wolf: walk softly. And carry some big-assed teeth.

alligator: stay below the water if you want, but keep those eyeballs just above the surface.

turtle: they can call you slow, they can call you anything they want. Just develop a tough outer shell and keep on keepin’ on.

bear: when you’ve just plain had enough and aren’t getting what you want, sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath and let out your biggest, loudest ROAR. That should do it.

You know, I may just have to send Attorney Doughboy III a thank-you note.


PS: I'm all over the place this week. Where you can read more:
My recipe roundup Fifty Recipes: Mother's Day All Day was published on The Huffington Post Taste.
My piece Ancestry: Do you Really Want to Know Who you are? was published on BLUNTmoms.
My post Holding On While Letting Go was published on Felicity Huffman's website What The Flicka?
My Strawberry Shortcake, Nacho Style recipe was featured as a Best Strawberry Shortcake on MSN.com Food and Drink.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup and check them all out. See you there:

The Bergham's Life Chronicles

Spatulas on Parade

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

The Momisodes

Stacy Sews and Schools

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

Disneyland in Kentucky

Southern Belle Charm

The Lieber Family

Someone Else's Genius

Confessions of a part-time working mom

Climaxed

Battered Hope

Small Talk Mama
Searching for Sanity 

Blue Raspberrry Chocolate Chip Cookies

                                                                            ©www.BakingInATornado.com
 
Printable Recipe
 
Ingredients:                
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
OPT: blue food coloring
2 ½ cups flour
1 packet Kool Aid (.22 oz) Unsweetened Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade mix
1 tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
1 cup chocolate chips
 
Blue colored sugar
 
Directions:
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover cookie sheets with parchment paper.
*Beat the butter, margarine and sugars. Beat in eggs, then food coloring if using.
*Stir in flour, KoolAid mix, baking soda and salt. Mix in the chocolate chips.
*NOTE: You can bake right away, but I find the dough easier to work with if you first wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate 1 hour.
*Place the blue colored sugar in a dish or a sandwich bag.
*Roll dough into approx. ¾ inch balls. Roll in the colored sugar and place on parchment paper.
*Bake for 10 – 12 minutes, don’t brown.
*Leave on cookie sheet for 2 minutes, then remove and cool completely.

Blasphemy

Lately I’ve been posting less humor and more serious pieces. I think this is partly because my muses are mostly out of the house and partly because of all the drama and heartbreak going on in my life. Whatever the reason, I’m going with it.

Today I’m taking on religion.

I’m not really interested in debating the premise of each religion, we all believe what works for us and I defend everyone’s right to do so. I know that there’s a sense of right and wrong in terms of the differences in the beliefs of religions. I disagree. When it comes to beliefs there’s only right and wrong for any given person.

But more and more I see people who want to belong met with rejection. I see people of all different faiths openly and deliberately looking to exclude others. This isn’t high school, this is organized religion.

I do see the value in age old traditions. I understand that religions don’t operate by constantly changing their doctrine. One of what I think is the primary roles of religion is to provide a moral compass. A staunch and unchanging moral compass. There has to be stability in terms of right and wrong. A religion cannot survive by being totally reactionary to societal changes.

But there is nothing wrong with progression and growth in terms of how we interpret the breadth of what is right. If we say that G-d loves all of his children, but in the past those of certain lifestyles have been excluded, excommunicated, shunned even, we do not lessen the tenet by coming to the conclusion that we need to exclude none.

Further down the slippery slope of exclusion are religious groups dedicated to discrimination, negativity and hate. We give them validation by calling these groups a church. They should not have tax-exempt status. In fact, it’s an insult to our society that they do.

Please excuse the simplistic baking analogy, but if you love chocolate chip cookies, only make chocolate chip cookies, are only friends with people who eat chocolate chip cookies, even if you decide that you will never try a lemon cookie, how do people who love Limoncello Cookies lesson your love of chocolate chip cookies?

Limoncello Cookies

And with increasing frequency we’re moving this issue out of the chapel and into the political arena. Following the analogy, to then seek to pass laws based on our belief that G-d only loves people who eat chocolate chip cookies, are we promoting the values of our religion, or are we really just using our religion to promote our own prejudices?

Bullying in the name of G-d. Isn’t this blasphemy?

Although I’m not exclusively speaking of homophobia, it’s a good example of what I’m trying to say because:

*A representative in one state has proposed a bill that will do away with all marriage licenses unless issued by a member of the clergy. Legalized exclusion.
*Another state is talking about a legal way to be sure that their state employees are not traumatized by forcing them to go against their religion in issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. Legalized exclusion.
*I think we’re up to 20 states now using laws to “protect religious freedom”in the workplace that are so vague and poorly thought-out that they could easily be used to discriminate against entire groups of people. Legalized exclusion.

And by the way, anyone around here heard of separation of church and state?

Beyond that, I don’t even understand these positions in terms of the workplace. If you believe that gay marriage is wrong, don’t marry someone of the same sex. But how is taking money from someone who is married to a person of the same sex against your religion? You’re a business set up to provide a product or service in exchange for money, they’re asking you to provide that product or service in exchange for money. Their legal tender money, not their gay money.

And how can someone be sure that they’re not doing business with people of whose lifestyle they disapprove? Should we all have to fill out a personal questionnaire before we’re allowed to order coffee?
1. Are you gay? Sorry, no coffee.
2. Are you affiliated with a religion other than that of the proprietor? Sorry, no coffee.
3. Have you lived with someone before marriage? Sorry, no coffee.
4. Have you ever accepted government assistance? Sorry, no coffee.
5. Are you a high school drop out? Sorry, no coffee.
6. Are you of mixed race? Sorry, no coffee.
7. Have you ever been accused of a crime? Gotten a parking ticket? Sorry, no coffee.
8. Have you ever lied? Sorry, no coffee.
9. Got an overdue library book? Unpaid fines? Sorry, no coffee.
10. Do you like Limoncello Cookies? Sorry, no coffee.

Seems to me we’re going to end up a far less caffeinated society.

My bottom line is this: if the love of a person whose identity includes a religious affiliation is stronger than the love of that institution for all who seek to worship, there is something truly wrong here. We, as the human beings who make up organized religions, have lost our way.

Religion is a blanket not a sword.

 

 
 
PS: I'm all over the place this week. Where you can read more by me:
My recipe roundup Fifty Recipes: Mother's Day All Day was published on The Huffington Post Taste.
My piece Ancestry: Do you Really Want to Know Who you are? was published on BLUNTmoms.
My post Holding On While Letting Go was published on Felicity Huffman's website What The Flicka?

Limoncello Cookies

                                                            ©www.BakingInATornado.com

Printable Recipe

Ingredients:
1 stick butter, softened
1 stick margarine, softened
¾ cups sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp lemon extract
¼ cup limoncello
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt
3 TBSP white sugar
2 TBSP yellow colored sugar
Directions:
*Cream the butter, margarine and sugars until smooth. Beat in the egg, lemon extract and limoncelo. Beat in the flour, baking soda and salt starting at the lowest speed until the dry ingredients are incorporated.
*Wrap dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cover baking sheets in parchment paper.
*Mix together the 3 TBSP white sugar and 2 TBSP yellow colored sugar.
*Roll the dough into approximately ½ inch balls. Dip the top of each dough ball into the sugar mixture. Place on the parchment paper, sugar side up.
*Bake for 11 - 13 minutes. Remove from baking sheet to cool completely.

Mother’s Day All Day: 50 Recipe Roundup

Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I have no idea where I’ll be this year. My younger son finishes finals hundreds of miles away the day before. I think he’ll need help getting all of his crap stuff home so it’s possible I’ll be on the road.

For those of you not spending Mother’s Day in a car, I hope you have something great planned. And since I’m not putting together my own celebration this year, I may as well help you plan yours.

So here it is, a celebration all in one place. I’ve put together a collection of 50 Mother’s Day recipes from Breakfast to Dinner and everything in between.

I broke this post out by meal groups: breakfast, lunch, cocktails (a very important food group in my opinion), dinner, sides and desserts. Each group has it’s own collage of pictures so you can see how the recipes turn out.

Whether you have time to prepare a more complicated dish or are in a hurry, there’s something for everyone. For each meal group there are options that can be at least partially prepared ahead, recipes that are mostly made that day but are quick and easy, and options that require but are well worth a little effort. Whatever you choose, you’re bound to impress.

Breakfast

Prepare ahead:
1 - Mocha Breakfast Muffins are delicious muffins you can make the day before. To serve warm, just pop into the microwave for about 20 seconds.
2 - Maple Glazed Mandarin Poppy Muffins can also be made the day before. They’re bursting with fruit and finished with a hint of maple.

Quick and easy:
3 - Crab Benedict Breakfast Roll-Ups are a light but substantial breakfast treat. They need to be made when eaten, but look like they take more effort than they do.
4 - Bagel Crisp Brunch Sandwiches are reminiscent of Sunday afternoon brunch. They’re quick to assemble and a delicious crunchy treat.

Worth the effort:
5 - Baked Individual Pancake Puffs are a beautiful breakfast treat. They require more effort, but you’ll really amaze when you serve these puffs.
6 - Pistachio Cream Cheese French Toast is made with thick french bread slices, stuffed, pistachio crusted and pan fried.

Lunch

Prepare ahead:
1 - Warm Chicken Pockets can be prepped ahead of time, then put together at lunch time. Serve with Broccoli Slaw, which can be made the day before.
2 – Taco Stuffed Potato Skins have many components that can be made ahead as well. Serve with fresh homemade Pico de Gallo, which is best made a day in advance so the flavors have a chance to marry.

Quick and easy:
3 - Sour Apple Challah Grilled Cheese can be assembled and served hot in a matter of minutes. Serve it with made ahead Greek Pasta Salad and lunch is served.
4 - Curried Chicken Salad Wraps are an easy lunch roll up packed with flavor. You can make a loaf of Veggie Bread ahead, but it’s best served warm.

Worth the effort:
5 - Stovetop BBQ Pork and Apple Pizza takes a little more effort but is both pretty and full of flavor. Serve it with Spicy Pasta Salad, another make ahead side dish, this one has a bit of a kick.
6 - Grilled Taco Chicken needs to be marinated and then grilled. It takes more time than effort but is juicy and flavorful. Smoky Cornbread is a perfect side dish.

Cocktails

Prepare ahead:
1 - Berry Sangria is mixed together and refrigerated overnight. To serve, just add the ginger ale to this refreshing cocktail.
2 - Raspberry Orange Margaritas are a cocktail I like to make by the pitcher. Put it together in the morning, refrigerate and they’re ready to serve.

Quick and easy:
3 - Tornado Cocktails are easy to make. Mix the ingredients and serve.
4 - Brunch Cocktail is just the thing for any special occasion.
5 - Iced Coffee Cocktail is the perfect afternoon blender drink, and can be served three different ways.

Worth the effort:
6 - Strawberries and Cream Cocktail is made with fresh berries and topped with a dollop of ice cream. This drink could be a dessert.
7 - My Mai Tai is a long time favorite. Many people make a version of this drink, but mine is the best!

Dinner

Prepare ahead:
1 - Grilled Marinated London Broil is my beef selection. Marinate up to two days ahead of time then grill, slice and serve.
2 - Crockpot Fruited Pork Roast can be put into the crockpot late in the morning, then left to cook until it’s time to slice and add the veggies.

Quick and easy:
3 - Peachy Chicken, although better if marinated longer, can actually be made in 30 minutes. It’s light, fruity and flavorful.
4 - Easy Grilled Halibut is another light meal that can be made quickly. Marinate the fish, grill and serve.

Worth the effort:
5 - Smoky Orange Cornish Hens take some time and effort, but they aren’t any more difficult than roasting a chicken and they make a very impressive meal.
6 - Baby Backs need time for the rub to flavor the meat and they need to slow roast for hours. The end result is a flavorful meal everyone will love.

Sides Dishes:

 

Veggies

Prepare ahead:
1 - Festive Pea Casserole can be completely assembled in the morning and popped into the oven to accompany any dinner you choose.
2 - Karen's Poppy Seed Dressing can be made ahead and works well on salad ingredients of your choice.

Quick and easy:
3 - Squash Casserole is simple to assemble and has all of the bright flavors of fresh vegetables.
4 - Pralined Snap Peas and Carrots is a beautiful side dish that’s made in minutes in the microwave.

Worth the effort:
5 - Brussels Sprouts with Pignolis and Proscuitto takes some prep time and cooking time, but is the perfect dish for a special occasion.
6 - Eggless Caesar Salad is just as good as you’d find in any restaurant. Any dinner will be enhanced by this salad.

 

Starches

Prepare ahead:
7 - Cheddar Mac Squares are a favorite side dish. Mine can be made ahead, sliced into squares and reheated for serving.
8 - Easy Cheesy Potatoes is a casserole that can be assembled in the afternoon and popped in the oven for dinner.

Quick and easy:
9 – Popovers are made simply by whisking a few ingredients, cooking in a hot oven and resisting the urge to open the oven while they cook. These light buttery treats will be a hit with everyone.
10 - Garlic Knots are quick to make when start with refrigerated bread sticks. They’re a flavorful addition to any dinner.

Worth the effort:
11 - Sweet Potato Cups with Maple Butter take time to prep and time to make. The flavor and presentation make the effort worthwhile.
12 – Tzimmes is a slightly sweet casserole of potatoes, fruit and vegetables. There’s some prep time required but this flavorful dish is really not difficult.

Desserts

Prepare ahead:
1 - S'More and Strawberry Skewers are a favorite because kids love helping dip the strawberries and the marshmallows. When you’re ready to serve, just skewer and you’re done.
2 - Strawberry Lemonade Cheesecake Squares need to be refrigerated before serving so they’re perfect for making ahead. These little squares are such a refreshing end to a meal.

Quick and easy:
3 - Caramel Apple Angel Cake looks impressive but is really quite simple if you start with a bakery angel cake, making this an easy dessert alternative.
4 - White Brownie Parfait is really two desserts in one. The White Brownies are a delicious treat, but kick it up a notch by adding fresh fruit and whipped cream.

Worth the effort:
5 - Dark Chocolate Raspberry Fudge is a recipe I first developed for Valentine’s Day but what says “love you, mom” more than dark chocolate and raspberry fudge hearts?
6 - Spring Fever Cookies will take some time to put together, but they’re a work of art when done. And they taste as good as they look.
7 - Berry Bar Sundaes are a delicious treat. Use fresh berries to make the bars, top with ice cream, whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate sauce. Delish.

As always, if you make some of my recipes, be sure to share a picture and your thought with my Facebook Community. I love to hear from you.

❤Hope your Mother’s Day is delicious ❤

 

This piece was published on The Huffington Post as Ffifty RecipesL Mothers Day All Day on 5-4-15.
Also cross-posted on BlogHer as Fifty Recipes: Mother's Day All Day on 5-1-15.